m*****1
发帖数: 5 | 1 LD keep complaining me long time. He thinks the whole family has to be
supported by himself, and he cannot find anything i can do for him. He told
me he envies other guys whose wives are also posdocs. Because they live
together and earn much money than me. However, i am just a busy student....
so sad....
each day i heard from him is complaining, blaming and abusing. i am tired to
all... | L*********d
发帖数: 7037 | 2 Tell him your are going to make more money than those postdoc wives after
you graduate, and he should shut up.
told
.
to
【在 m*****1 的大作中提到】
: LD keep complaining me long time. He thinks the whole family has to be
: supported by himself, and he cannot find anything i can do for him. He told
: me he envies other guys whose wives are also posdocs. Because they live
: together and earn much money than me. However, i am just a busy student....
: so sad....
: each day i heard from him is complaining, blaming and abusing. i am tired to
: all...
| d******0
发帖数: 22800 | 3 眼界问题。
postdoc原本不是为了赚钱的，而是合适那些准备为科学献身的人而准备的。如果以钱
为目标，这样的人做postdoc本身就是一个悲剧。 | a****n
发帖数: 8553 | 4 你就直接说千老得了呗。
现在当千老也不是那么容易了。
【在 d******0 的大作中提到】
: 眼界问题。
: postdoc原本不是为了赚钱的，而是合适那些准备为科学献身的人而准备的。如果以钱
: 为目标，这样的人做postdoc本身就是一个悲剧。
| T*******e
发帖数: 4928 | 5 "He told me he envies other guys whose wives are also posdocs. Because they
live together and earn much money than me." Puking....
If you can support yourself, get a divorce now. Your husband is so stupid.
If you can not support yourself now, then wait. Do get a divorce after you graduate and get a decent job. Let your idiot husband find his dream wife who is also a postdoc.
【在 m*****1 的大作中提到】
: LD keep complaining me long time. He thinks the whole family has to be
: supported by himself, and he cannot find anything i can do for him. He told
: me he envies other guys whose wives are also posdocs. Because they live
: together and earn much money than me. However, i am just a busy student....
: so sad....
: each day i heard from him is complaining, blaming and abusing. i am tired to
: all...
| k**i
发帖数: 10191 | | m*****1
发帖数: 5 | 7 I guess the reason he did not beat me just because i may earn more money
than him since my major allows me to find a job relative easily than him.
When he came to visit me each day he was angry if I did not prepare food in
time. He say "F... U" all the time, even sent me in emails. However, he
looks he does love me. He arranges some time for me to revise what I wrote.
When he wants to talk, he may call me.
I do not how other long distance couples deal with living trivals and how to
communicate with each other. But he seldom contacts me. Usually one week we
have 3 phone calls and spend 40min in sum. But he does like to talk with
his sisters and sisters' husbands all the time. When they are talking, he
refuses me to stay with him together. After some phone calls, I was blamed
why I gave money to my parents before I married to him. He said just because
I did not save too much money, we have no way to pay the down pay of a
house. However, his parents did not give any money on our wedding. I told
him that it is wired I never asked why your parents did not give any gift or
financial support for our marriage, as a man why you keep asking me this
question. Do you really think I should bring a certain number of money to
cheer you and your family up if I agree to marry you?
Besides, when he was talking with his friends through qq or msn, he made
sure let me stay outside of his room. If I use his computer he will
accompany me all the time. However, one time i saw he wrote with other girl
and said he felt so disappointed about our marriage and want to give up.
They chatted through video several times. Only the time he chatted with his
sisters’ husbands is much more than the total time he offered to me. I know
he uses a lot time to erase those records. I do not know whether this is
bearable or not for a long distance marriage. He never tells me his feeling
about our marriage.
I so scare if I really have a baby with him in the future and then he told me that he
does not love me anymore. I am not that confident on our marriage, although
I know I love him so much. After I married him, I respect him and want him to
love me like before we got marry. I see him as my teacher, my partner, my son. Sometime, he was touched by my love to him. But after 10 min, he thinks what I did is what I
should do and he have no feel about what did for him.
I really scare to talk with him. I dare not to answer his phone call since I
know he will blame me for all bad things he may experience. I knew if i
call him he may hang off without any patient. After raining days, there are
always some sunshine. Suddenly, he may talk to me happily and call me honey.
I do not know. I do not know what I should do. I really scare and avoid
thinking these things which may happen in the future between us. I love him,
but I do not want to be hurt by him someday, hardly.... | m*****1
发帖数: 5 | 8 yelling on me, bleming me... again.. in the phone.
He told me he feels so tied. He said he have to give most of his time in lab
and have not much time on family issues. He told me to do more and only
give the last version to him for revise. He asked me to pay more attention
on family issues, and do not put on my meaningless papers or lab research.
He complained to me he cannot find job, so he have to be a posdoc. He said
when he see other guys he realized he already took too much pressure. He
told what i should do is to finish greencard applicaiton, find a job, and
deliver a baby.
I understood his situation. I knew I should contribute more on family
buidling. However, i also have a tough boss and I have to offer most of my
time in lab. I want to find time to work on application. But I feel so sad
because he knew doctors do not suggest me to have a baby since it will risk
my life. | m*****1
发帖数: 5 | 9 He calculate my income each month to evaluate how much money i was supposed
to save if i do not use those or give my parents. I understood he want to
buy a house and stay with family together and I knew I should save enough
money to reduce his financial pressure. But I do scare to talk with him. We
have not weding, marriage celebration. In the limit time i stay together
some are happy, some are not.
Before married to him, he said he need me to understand his financial
conditions and family situation. After married, he complain how much money
my parents can contribute to buy a house. Before married to him, he was so
sweet and gave me so much positive encouragement. After married, he blamed
me, abused me so many times. Before married, he said we can buy a house
after he graduated. After married, he complained me that others' wife
delivered a baby and take care by wives themselves, get graduate, find a
good job, apply a green card, buy a house supported by wives'families. I was
asked what I can do for him? Yes, what I can do? firstly, now I cannot
graduate that soon to get a job. I have to work each day in lab and I do not
think my parents have that much money to buy a house for us, even my
parents said they want to sell their house to raise funding for us. But how
i can let my parents to do that.... tears...................................
... It seems he thinks my parents have many houses in china and are very
rich because we locate in a big city. I have explained that my parent earn
salary each month, not bussiness men. He challenges me what a shame your
parents work on their jobs that many years without big money. I..........
Long distance makes me feel not that bad. but i do not know when he will
change back to the one in my heart before i married to him, and when these
end......... | n*********n
发帖数: 2 | 10 这英文看起来真累，翻译软件翻的？
直接写中文就好了阿，还能表达清楚一些
你们的问题就是没钱闹的，显然他也不是一个能顶得住经济压力的人，我觉得你们现在
的情况不适合生小孩，应该先把工作收入稳定下来以后才能计划下一步
当然按照你说的情况，他也不像是愿意一起过穷日子的人，你的收入应该能养活你自己
了，没必要在经济上作他的奴隶。直起腰来跟他谈谈，不要一副怨妇的样子，你要是主
动追求自己权益了，说不定他还能另眼看待你一些 | R*I
发帖数: 1840 | 11 我觉得家版看多了是会得抑郁症的，我靠
【在 n*********n 的大作中提到】
: 这英文看起来真累，翻译软件翻的？
: 直接写中文就好了阿，还能表达清楚一些
: 你们的问题就是没钱闹的，显然他也不是一个能顶得住经济压力的人，我觉得你们现在
: 的情况不适合生小孩，应该先把工作收入稳定下来以后才能计划下一步
: 当然按照你说的情况，他也不像是愿意一起过穷日子的人，你的收入应该能养活你自己
: 了，没必要在经济上作他的奴隶。直起腰来跟他谈谈，不要一副怨妇的样子，你要是主
: 动追求自己权益了，说不定他还能另眼看待你一些
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