n******8
发帖数: 558 | 1 Wheels on ice
Wheels on ice,
driven,
spinning-
as if drunken.
Wills on ice,
weaken,
longing-
for traction.
saw wheels spinning on ice hopelessly, so wrote this short poem, intended to
keep it vague, appreciate your interpretations. | wh
发帖数: 141625 | 2 weaken用作动词？那感觉应该是weakened. 不过you have the poetic license...
to
【在 n******8 的大作中提到】
: Wheels on ice
: Wheels on ice,
: driven,
: spinning-
: as if drunken.
: Wills on ice,
: weaken,
: longing-
: for traction.
: saw wheels spinning on ice hopelessly, so wrote this short poem, intended to
| n******8
发帖数: 558 | 3 你说的对， 我有些偏执文字的形式， 韵， 长短等， 滥用 the poetic license， 假
如诗歌不分行， 连起来， 读的流畅， 也不是诗歌了。
也许名字叫做 wills on ice 更好？ 那是我真正想说的。 wills are dangerous
without traction, just like wheels
【在 wh 的大作中提到】
: weaken用作动词？那感觉应该是weakened. 不过you have the poetic license...
:
: to
| n******8
发帖数: 558 | 4 i like "driven" so much, besides wheels are driven, i am implying what will
happen to a driven person when he reaches his aims without any adversity (
traction), so sacrifice the grammar for "weaken" to keep the rhyme and form.
it is a bit farfetched.
【在 wh 的大作中提到】
: weaken用作动词？那感觉应该是weakened. 不过you have the poetic license...
:
: to
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