r*******n
发帖数: 3020 | 1 看了大家激烈的讨论，
一边是男人的前途，一边是孩子的教育，
怎么样没有讨论双方父母要老的问题？
难道大家都没有这个问题。 | a**********9
发帖数: 394 | 2 因为现代社会，每个人应该自己给自己养老。子女最多有经济上赡养和时常探视的义务。而并没有为之牺牲事业前途的义务。
【在 r*******n 的大作中提到】
: 看了大家激烈的讨论，
: 一边是男人的前途，一边是孩子的教育，
: 怎么样没有讨论双方父母要老的问题？
: 难道大家都没有这个问题。
| o****d
发帖数: 5454 | 3 You said as you are not Chinese.
If your parents couldn't move when they are very old, who could take care of
them, you want just give some money to them? money is nothing important for
old people.
And, did you expect your son do same to you, could you imagine how pity you
will be when you are old.
务。而并没有为之牺牲事业前途的义务。
【在 a**********9 的大作中提到】
: 因为现代社会，每个人应该自己给自己养老。子女最多有经济上赡养和时常探视的义务。而并没有为之牺牲事业前途的义务。
| a**********9
发帖数: 394 | 4 when they are too old, they should move to where their children live and
stay with them, or if they don't want to, they can either hire a maid by
themselves or by their children. but the children don't have the obligation
to sacrefice their own life and career just because they have to take care
of their parents, because everyone only have their life once and they have
the right to live it and the responsibility to take care of it by themselves.
As for me, I will always be independent (financially and mentally) and take
care of myself, maybe hire someone to take care of me physically when I am
too old. but I will never ask my children to sacrifice their life just for
me, coz that will be too selfish.
in my opinion, those parents who force their children to return to china just because they want to be taken care of and don't want to go to US is cruel and selfish.
I am sorry if this is offensive.
of
for
you
【在 o****d 的大作中提到】
: You said as you are not Chinese.
: If your parents couldn't move when they are very old, who could take care of
: them, you want just give some money to them? money is nothing important for
: old people.
: And, did you expect your son do same to you, could you imagine how pity you
: will be when you are old.
:
: 务。而并没有为之牺牲事业前途的义务。
| b********2
发帖数: 3189 | 5 你确定你的父母也是这么想的么？
and
by
obligation
care
have
themselves.
take
I am
for
【在 a**********9 的大作中提到】
: when they are too old, they should move to where their children live and
: stay with them, or if they don't want to, they can either hire a maid by
: themselves or by their children. but the children don't have the obligation
: to sacrefice their own life and career just because they have to take care
: of their parents, because everyone only have their life once and they have
: the right to live it and the responsibility to take care of it by themselves.
: As for me, I will always be independent (financially and mentally) and take
: care of myself, maybe hire someone to take care of me physically when I am
: too old. but I will never ask my children to sacrifice their life just for
: me, coz that will be too selfish.
| a**********9
发帖数: 394 | 6 I think so, yes.
when I decided to come back, they were happy for sure,as I did.but they
would never require me to come back to take care of them. because everybody
has his own life, and it is his right and responsibility to live the full of
it.
Of course if I chose to stay in US, I would ask them to go there and stay
with me.
【在 b********2 的大作中提到】
: 你确定你的父母也是这么想的么？
:
: and
: by
: obligation
: care
: have
: themselves.
: take
: I am
| a**********9
发帖数: 394 | 7 又及，在这里其实我父母怎么想的并不重要，重要的是我怎么想，因为我们在谈论的是
我的生活。
不知道我是否表述清楚我的意思。我想说的是，当然你应该照顾你父母，但是如果他们
需要被照顾，那么他们应该根据你的安排来，如果你选择留在美国，那他们要么来和你
住，要么留在国内，你从经济上支持。而并没有权力要求你回国放弃事业只是为了照顾
他们。因为你的生活也是生活，你也只有一辈子。。。
【在 b********2 的大作中提到】
: 你确定你的父母也是这么想的么？
:
: and
: by
: obligation
: care
: have
: themselves.
: take
: I am
| o****d
发帖数: 5454 | 8 OK, it's another solution.
Actually my wife think like you.
It's hard to say right or wrong, may just different lifestyles.
Then I wishes you happy when you are very old.
obligation
themselves.
take
【在 a**********9 的大作中提到】
: when they are too old, they should move to where their children live and
: stay with them, or if they don't want to, they can either hire a maid by
: themselves or by their children. but the children don't have the obligation
: to sacrefice their own life and career just because they have to take care
: of their parents, because everyone only have their life once and they have
: the right to live it and the responsibility to take care of it by themselves.
: As for me, I will always be independent (financially and mentally) and take
: care of myself, maybe hire someone to take care of me physically when I am
: too old. but I will never ask my children to sacrifice their life just for
: me, coz that will be too selfish.
| a**********9
发帖数: 394 | 9 I agree with you, there is nothing right or wrong when you are the children.
but I still think it is not right if parents think their children should
sacrifice their life and career to go back to china and take care of them.
in my opinion, it is kind of selfish.
btw, you might be right that when I am very old, I will prefer to stay in my
own place and at the same time get my children to stay around me and take
care of me, but I will also know that this is not my right to require that.
if they want to do it that way, it is great, but if not, so be it.
【在 o****d 的大作中提到】
: OK, it's another solution.
: Actually my wife think like you.
: It's hard to say right or wrong, may just different lifestyles.
: Then I wishes you happy when you are very old.
:
: obligation
: themselves.
: take
| r*******n
发帖数: 3020 | 10 不说在美国挣很多钱，对于工薪族来说，就是接两个老人过来，
如果买保险的话，压力也不小，毕竟上了年纪，这病那病的也免不了。
当然如果在他们病之前，能拿到公民身份，有些州绿卡也行，那是很幸运的。
【在 a**********9 的大作中提到】
: 又及，在这里其实我父母怎么想的并不重要，重要的是我怎么想，因为我们在谈论的是
: 我的生活。
: 不知道我是否表述清楚我的意思。我想说的是，当然你应该照顾你父母，但是如果他们
: 需要被照顾，那么他们应该根据你的安排来，如果你选择留在美国，那他们要么来和你
: 住，要么留在国内，你从经济上支持。而并没有权力要求你回国放弃事业只是为了照顾
: 他们。因为你的生活也是生活，你也只有一辈子。。。
| | | a**********9
发帖数: 394 | 11 是的，确实有经济上的压力。不过我个人还是觉得给老人提供一个选择是应该的。哪怕
经济上有些压力。
【在 r*******n 的大作中提到】
: 不说在美国挣很多钱，对于工薪族来说，就是接两个老人过来，
: 如果买保险的话，压力也不小，毕竟上了年纪，这病那病的也免不了。
: 当然如果在他们病之前，能拿到公民身份，有些州绿卡也行，那是很幸运的。
| o*******s
发帖数: 1375 | 12 When you are very old, and have problem to take care yourself, it's not fun
to live in this world any more. Why do u
want others sacrifice their fun life for yor not fun life. It's so selfish.
【在 o****d 的大作中提到】
: OK, it's another solution.
: Actually my wife think like you.
: It's hard to say right or wrong, may just different lifestyles.
: Then I wishes you happy when you are very old.
:
: obligation
: themselves.
: take
| B********g
发帖数: 40 | 13 asilomar2009太NB了.
肯定是"现代社会"的民主精英. (您可能回复是不是精英无关紧要; 我只是在这里由衷
地称赞您) | a**********9
发帖数: 394 | 14 谢谢，谢谢。呵呵
【在 B********g 的大作中提到】
: asilomar2009太NB了.
: 肯定是"现代社会"的民主精英. (您可能回复是不是精英无关紧要; 我只是在这里由衷
: 地称赞您)
| o****d
发帖数: 5454 | 15 I will not ask my son do this, but if he didn't do this, it means he is a
selfish man, do you agree?
In China, usually one's parents certificate all of their time and energy to
him. As my opinion, when he grew up if he couldn't take are of his parents,
it's totally selfish.
I will not learn western people, what they are good is only science, nothing
more.
fun
【在 o*******s 的大作中提到】
: When you are very old, and have problem to take care yourself, it's not fun
: to live in this world any more. Why do u
: want others sacrifice their fun life for yor not fun life. It's so selfish.
| r*******n
发帖数: 3020 | 16 大多数中国父母对孩子付出太多，跟美国家庭差别很大。
在每一个选择面前，都选择对自己有利的，
这才是自私。
to
parents,
nothing
【在 o****d 的大作中提到】
: I will not ask my son do this, but if he didn't do this, it means he is a
: selfish man, do you agree?
: In China, usually one's parents certificate all of their time and energy to
: him. As my opinion, when he grew up if he couldn't take are of his parents,
: it's totally selfish.
: I will not learn western people, what they are good is only science, nothing
: more.
:
: fun
| g******e
发帖数: 1258 | 17 养老回不回去其实都一样。有钱的话你就是人在曼哈顿也可以房子买大点把父母接到身
边，
没钱的话你回了上海住鸽子笼，你爸妈还是享不了你的福。
【在 r*******n 的大作中提到】
: 看了大家激烈的讨论，
: 一边是男人的前途，一边是孩子的教育，
: 怎么样没有讨论双方父母要老的问题？
: 难道大家都没有这个问题。
|
|
