p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 1 Someone asked what the rules of bike jersey, and someone else point him to
this link. It is hilarious. Totally loved it! =D
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THE RULES
http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/
by The Keepers / Jun 1 2009 / 6,291 posts
We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred
text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules.
It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.
For those struggling to understand exactly what it means to be a Rule Holist
and embrace all these Rules, please review the following material:
Rule #1 // Obey The Rules.
Rule #2 // Lead by example.
It is forbidden for someone familiar with The Rules to knowingly assist
another person to breach them.1
Rule #3 // Guide the uninitiated.
No matter how good you think your reason is to knowingly breach The Rules,
it is never good enough.
Rule #4 // It’s all about the bike.
It is, absolutely, without question, unequivocally, about the bike. Anyone
who says otherwise is obviously a twatwaffle.
Rule #5 // Harden The Fuck Up. 2,19,20
Rule #6 // Free your mind and your legs will follow.
Your mind is your worst enemy. Do all your thinking before you start riding
your bike. Once the pedals start to turn, wrap yourself in the sensations
of the ride – the smell of the air, the sound of the tires, the feeling of
flight as the bicycle rolls over the road.
Rule #7 // Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp.
Under no circumstances should one be rolling up their sleeves or shorts in
an effort to somehow diminish one’s tan lines. Sleeveless jerseys are under
no circumstances to be employed.
Rule #8 // Saddles, bars, and tires shall be carefully matched.3
Valid options are:
Match the saddle to the bars and the tires to black; or
Match the bars to the color of the frame at the top of the head tube and the
saddle to the color of the frame at the top of the seat tube and the tires
to the color where they come closest to the frame; or
Match the saddle and the bars to the frame decals; or
Black, black, black
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass.
Period.
Fair-weather riding is a luxury reserved for Sunday afternoons and wide
boulevards. Those who ride in foul weather – be it cold, wet, or
inordinately hot – are members of a special club of riders who, on the
morning of a big ride, pull back the curtain to check the weather and, upon
seeing rain falling from the skies, allow a wry smile to spread across their
face. This is a rider who loves the work.
Rule #10 // It never gets easier, you just go faster.
As this famous quote by Greg LeMan tells us, training, climbing, and racing
is hard. It stays hard. To put it another way, per Greg Henderson: “
Training is like fighting with a gorilla. You don’t stop when you’re tired
. You stop when the gorilla is tired.” Sur la Plaque, fucktards.4
Rule #11 // Family does not come first. The bike does.
Sean Kelly, being interviewed after the ’84 Amstel Gold Race, spots his
wife leaning against his Citroën AX. He interrupts the interview to
tell her to get off the paintwork, to which she shrugs, “In your life the
car comes first, then the bike, then me.” Instinctively, he snaps back, “
You got the order wrong. The bike comes first.”21
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
While the minimum number of bikes one should own is three, the correct
number is n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. This equation
may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of bikes owned that
would result in separation from your partner.
Rule #13 // If you draw race number 13, turn it upside down.
Paradoxically, the same mind that holds such control over the body is also
woefully fragile and prone to superstitious thought. It fills easily with
doubt and is distracted by ancillary details. This is why the tape must
always be perfect, the machine silent, the kit spotless. And, if you draw
the unlucky Number 13, turn it upside down to counter-act its negative
energy.
Rule #14 // Shorts should be black.
Team-issue shorts should be black, with the possible exception of side-
panels, which may match the rest of the team kit.
Rule #15 // Black shorts should also be worn with leader’s jerseys.
Black shorts, or at least standard team-kit shorts, must be worn with
Championship jerseys and race leadership jerseys. Don’t over-match your kit
, or accept that you will look like a douche.
Rule #16 // Respect the jersey.
Championship and race leader jerseys must only be worn if you’ve won the
championship or led the race.
Rule #17 // Team kit is for members of the team.
Wearing Pro team kit is also questionable if you’re not paid to wear it.
If you must fly the colors of Pro teams, all garments should match perfectly
, i.e no Mapei jersey with Kelme shorts and Telekom socks.
Rule #18 // No road jerseys or Lycra bibs when riding off-road.
Cyclocross is a middle-ground. Best to wear cross-specific kit: skin suits
only. No exceptions.
Rule #19 // No mountain jerseys or baggies when riding on the road.
Cyclocross is a middle-ground. Best to wear cross-specific kit: skin suits
only. No exceptions.
Rule #20 // There are only three remedies for pain.
These are:
If your quads start to burn, shift forward to use your hamstrings and calves
, or
If your calves or hamstrings start to burn, shift back to use your quads, or
If you feel wimpy and weak, meditate on Rule 5 and train more!
Rule #21 // Cold weather gear is for cold weather.
Knickers, vests, arm warmers, shoe covers, and caps beneath your helmet can
all make you look like a hardman, when the weather warrants their use.
Rule #22 // Cycling caps are for cycling.
Cycling caps can be worn under helmets, but never when not riding, no matter
how hip you think you look. This will render one a douche, and should
result in public berating or beating. The only time it is acceptable to wear
a cycling cap is while directly engaged in cycling activities and while
clad in cycling kit. This includes activities taking place prior to and
immediately after the ride such as machine tuning and tire pumping. Also
included are cafe appearances for pre-ride espressi and post-ride pub
appearances for body-refueling ales (provided said pub has sunny, outdoor
patio – do not stray inside a pub wearing kit or risk being ceremoniously
beaten by leather-clad biker chicks). Under these conditions, having your
cap skull-side tipped jauntily at a rakish angle is, one might say, de
rigueur. All good things must be taken in measure, however, and as such it
is critical that we let sanity and good taste prevail: as long as the first
sip of the relevant caffeine or hop-based beverage is taken whilst beads of
sweat, snow, or rain are still evident on one’s brow then it is legitimate
for the cap to be worn. However, once all that remains in the cranial
furrows is salt, it is then time to shower, throw on some suitable après-
ride attire (a woollen Molteni Arcore training top circa ’73 comes to mind)
and return to the bar, folded copy of pastel-coloured news publication in
hand, ready for formal fluid replacement. It is also helpful if you are a
Giant of the Road, as demonstrated here, rather than a giant douchebag. 5
Rule #23 // Shoe covers are for cold or wet.
If it’s not cold or wet and you are still wearing shoe covers it’s because
you’re a pussy.
Rule #24 // Speeds and distances shall be referred to and measured in
kilometers.
This includes while discussing cycling in the workplace with your non-
cycling coworkers, serving to further mystify our sport in the web of their
Neanderthalic cognitive capabilities. As the confused expression spreads
across their unibrowed faces, casually mention your shaved legs. All of
cycling’s monuments are measured in the metric system and as such the
English system is forbidden.
Rule #25 // The bikes on top of your car should be worth more than the car.
Or at least be relatively more expensive. Basically, if you’re putting
your Huffy on your Rolls, you’re in trouble, mister. Remember what Sean
said.
Rule #26 // Make your bike photogenic.
When photographing your bike, gussy her up properly for the camera. Some
parameters are firm: valve stems at 6 o’clock. Cranks never at 90 or 180
degrees. Others are at your discretion, though the accepted practices are
include putting the chain on the big dog, and no bidons in the cages.
Rule #27 // Shorts and socks should be like Goldilocks.
Not too long and not too short. (Disclaimer: despite Sean Yates’ horrible
choice in shorts length, he is a quintessential hard man of cycling and is
deeply admired by the Velominati. Whereas Armstrong’s short and sock
lengths are just plain wrong.) No socks is a no-no, as are those ankle-
length ones that should only be worn by female tennis players.
Rule #28 // Socks can be any damn colour you like.
White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a
Texan whose were too long. If you fell you must go colored, make sure they
damn well match your kit. Tip: DeFeet Wool-E-Ators rule.
Rule #29 // No European Posterior Man-Satchels.
Saddle bags have no place on a road bike, and are only acceptable on
mountain bikes in extreme cases.
Rule #30 // No frame-mounted pumps.
Either Co2 cannisters or mini-pumps should be carried in jersey pockets (See
Rule 31). The only exception to this rule is to mount a Silca brand frame
pump in the rear triangle of the frame, with the rear wheel skewer as the
pump mount nob, as demonstrated by members of the 7-Eleven and Ariostea pro
cycling teams. As such, a frame pump mounted upside-down and along the left
(skewer lever side) seat stay is both old skool and euro and thus acceptable
. We restate at this time that said pump may under no circumstances be a
Zefal and must be made by Silca. Said Silca pump must be fitted with a
Campagnolo head. It is acceptable to gaffer-tape a mini-pump to your frame
when no C02 cannisters are available and your pockets are full of spare kit
and energy gels. However, the rider should expect to be stopped and
questioned and may be required to empty pockets to prove there is no room in
them for the pump.
Rule #31 // Spare tubes, multi-tools and repair kits should be stored in
jersey pockets.
If absolutely necessary, in a converted bidon in a cage on bike. Or, use one
of these.
Rule #32 // Humps are for camels: no hydration packs.
Hydration packs are never to be seen on a road rider’s body. No argument
will be entered into on this. For MTB, they are cool.
Rule #33 // Shave your guns.
Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times. If, for some reason, your legs
are to be left hairy, make sure you can dish out plenty of hurt to shaved
riders, or be considered a hippie douche on your way to a Critical Mass.
Whether you use a straight razor or a Bowie knife, use Baxter to keep them
smooth.
Rule #34 // Mountain bike shoes and pedals have their place.
On a mountain bike.
Rule #35 // No visors on the road.
Road helmets can be worn on mountain bikes, but never the other way around.
If you want shade, see Rule #22.
Rule #36 // Eyewear shall be cycling specific.
No Aviator shades, blueblockers, or clip-on covers for eye glasses.
Rule #37 // The arms of the eyewear shall always be placed over the helmet
straps.
No exceptions. This is for various reasons that may or may not matter; it’s
just the way it is.
Rule #38 // Don’t Play Leap Frog.
Train Properly: if you get passed by someone, it is nothing personal, just
accept that on the day/effort/ride they were stronger than you. If you can’
t deal, work harder. But don’t go playing leap frog to get in front only to
be taken over again (multiple times) because you can’t keep up the pace.
Especially don’t do this just because the person overtaking you is a woman.
Seriously. Get over it.
Rule #39 // Never ride without your eyewear.
You should not make a habit of riding without eyewear, although approved
extenuating circumstances include fog, overheating, and lighting condition.
When not worn over the eyes, they should be neatly tucked into the vents of
your helmet. If they don’t fit, buy a new helmet. In the meantime you can
wear them backwards on the back of your head or carefully tuck them into
your jersey pocket, making sure not to scratch them on your tools (see item
31).
Rule #40 // Tires are to be mounted with the label centered directly over
the valve stem.
Pro mechanics do it because it makes it easier to find the valve. You do
this because that’s the way pro mechanics do it. This will save you
precious seconds while your fat ass sits on the roadside fumbling with your
CO2 after a flat. It also looks better for photo opportunities. Note: This
obviously only applies to clinchers as tubulars don’t give you a choice.
Rule #41 // Quick-release levers are to be carefully positioned.
Quick release angle on the front skewer shall be an upward angle which
tightens just aft of the fork and the rear quick release shall tighten at an
angle that bisects angle between the seat and chain stays. It is acceptable
, however, to have the rear quick release tighten upward, just aft of the
seat stay, when the construction of the frame or its dropouts will not allow
the preferred positioning. For Time Trial bikes only, quick releases may be
in the horizontal position facing towards the rear of the bike. This is for
maximum aero effect.9
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed
by a run.
If it’s preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run, it is not called a
bike race, it is called duathlon or a triathlon. Neither of which is a bike
race. Also keep in mind that one should only swim in order to prevent
drowning, and should only run if being chased. And even then, one should
only run fast enough to prevent capture.
Rule #43 // Don’t be a jackass.
But if you absolutely must be a jackass, be a funny jackass. Always remember
, we’re all brothers and sisters on the road.
Rule #44 // Position matters.
In order to find the V-Locus, a rider’s handlebars on their road bike must
always be lower than their saddle. The only exception to this is if you’re
revolutionizing the sport, in which case you must also be prepared to break
the World Hour Record. The minimum allowable tolerance is 4cm; there is no
maximum, but people may berate you if they feel you have them too low.
Rule #45 // Slam your stem.
A maximum stack height of 2cm is allowed below the stem and a single 5mm
spacer must always – always – be stacked above. A “slammed down” stack
height is preferable; meaning that the stem is positioned directly on the
top race of the headset.
Rule #46 // Keep your bars level.
Handlebars will be mounted parallel to the ground or angled slightly upward.
While they may never be pointed down at all, they may be angled up slightly
; allowed handlebar tilt is to be between 180 and 175 degrees with respect
to the level road. The brake levers will preferably be mounted such that the
end of the brake lever is even with the bottom of the bar. Modern bars,
however, dictate that this may not always be possible, so tolerances are
permitted within reason. Brake hoods should not approach anything near 45
degrees, as some riders with poor taste have been insisting on doing.
Rule #47 // Drink Tripels, don’t ride triples.
Cycling and beer are so intertwined we may never understand the full
relationship. Beer is a recovery drink, an elixir for post-ride trash
talking and a just plain excellent thing to pour down the neck. We train to
drink so don’t fool around. Drink quality beer from real breweries. If it
is brewed with rice instead of malted barley or requires a lime, you are off
the path. Know your bittering units like you know your gear length. Life is
short, don’t waste it on piss beer.
Rule #48 // Keep your saddle level.
The seating area of a saddle is to be visually level, with the base
measurement made using a spirit level. Based on subtleties of saddle design
and requirements of comfort, the saddle may then be pitched slightly forward
or backward to reach a position that offers stability, power, and comfort.
If the tilt of the saddle exceeds two degrees, you need to go get one of
those saddles with springs and a thick gel pad because you are obviously a
big pussy.
Rule #49 // Slide your saddle back.
The midpoint of the saddle as measured from tip to tail shall fall well
behind and may not be positioned forward of the line made by extending the
seat tube through the top of the saddle. (Also see Rule #44 and Rule #48.)
Rule #50 // Facial hair is to be carefully regulated.
No full beards, no moustaches. Goatees are permitted only if your name
starts with “Marco” and ends with “Pantani”, or if your head is
intentionally or unintentionally bald. One may never shave on the morning of
an important race, as it saps your virility, and you need that to kick ass.
Rule #51 // Livestrong wristbands are cockrings for your arms.
While we hate cancer, isn’t it better to just donate some money and not
have to advertise the fact for the next five years? You may as well get “
tryhard wanker” tattooed on your forehead. Or you may well be a bogan.
Rule #52 // Padding or body armor of any kind is not allowed.
If you find you need it, try pointing your bike up the hill for a change.
Rule #53 // Keep your kit clean and new.
As a courtesy to those around you, your kit should always be freshly
laundered, and, under no circumstances should the crackal region of your
shorts be worn out or see-through.
Rule #54 // No aerobars on road bikes.
Aerobars or other clip-on attachments are under no circumstances to be
employed on your road bike. The only exception to this is if you are
competing in a mountain timetrail.
Rule #55 // Earn your turns.
If you are riding down a mountain, you must first have ridden up the
mountain. It is forbidden to employ powered transportation simply for the
cheap thrill of descending. The only exception to this is if you are doing
intervals on Alpe d’Huez or the Plan de Corones and you park your car up
top before doing 20 repeats of the climb.
Rule #56 // Espresso or macchiato only.
When wearing cycling kit and enjoying a pre or post ride coffee, it is only
appropriate to drink espresso or macchiato. If the word soy/skim latte is
heard to be used by a member wearing cycling apparel, then that person must
be ceremonially beaten with Co2 canisters or mini pumps by others within the
community.6
Rule #57 // No stickers.
Nobody gives a shit what causes you support, what war you’re against, what
gear you buy, or what year you rode RAGBRAI. See Rule #5 and ride your bike
. Decals, on the other hand, are not only permissible, but extremely Pro.
Rule #58 // Support your local bike shop.
Never buy bikes, parts or accessories online. Going into your local shop,
asking myriad inane questions, tying up the staff’s time, then going online
to buy is akin to sleeping with your best friend’s wife, then having a
beer with him after. Online is evil and will be the death of the bike shop.
If you do purchase parts online, be prepared to mount and maintain them
yourself. If you enter a shop with parts you have bought online and expect
them to fit them, be prepared to be told to see your online seller for
fitting and warranty help.
Rule #59 // Hold your line.
Ride predictably, and don’t make sudden movements. And, under no
circumstances, are you to deviate from your line.
Rule #60 // Ditch the washer-nut and valve-stem cap.
You are not, under any circumstances, to employ the use of the washer-nut
and valve-stem cap that come with your inner-tubes or tubulars. They are
only supplied to meet shipping regulations. They are useless when it comes
to tubes and tires.
Rule #61 // Like your guns, saddles should be smooth and hard.
Under no circumstances may your saddle have more than 3mm of padding.
Special allowances will be made for stage racing when physical pain caused
by subcutaneous cysts and the like (“saddle sores”) are present. Under
those conditions, up to 5mm of padding will be allowed – it should be noted
that this exception is only temporary until the condition has passed or
been excised. A hardman would not change their saddle at all but instead cut
a hole in it to relieve pressure on the delicate area. It is noted that if
Rule #48 and/or Rule #5 is observed then any “padding” is superfluous.7
Rule #62 // You shall not ride with earphones.
Cycling is about getting outside and into the elements and you don’t need
to be listening to Queen or Slayer in order to experience that. Immerse
yourself in the rhythm and pain, not in whatever 80′s hair band you call “
music”. See Rule #5 and ride your bike.8
Rule #63 // Point in the direction you’re turning.
Signal a left turn by pointing your left arm to the left. To signal a right
turn, simply point with your right arm to the right. This one is, presumably
, mostly for Americans: that right-turn signal that Americans are taught to
make with your left arm elbow-out and your forearm pointing upwards was
developed for motor-vehicles prior to the invention of the electric turn
signal since it was rather difficult to reach from the driver-side all the
way out the passenger-side window to signal a right turn. On a bicycle,
however, we don’t have this limitation and it is actually quite easy to
point your right arm in the direction you are turning. The American right-
turn signal just makes you look like you’re waving “hello” to traffic.
Rule #64 // Cornering confidence increases with time and experience.
This pattern continues until it falls sharply and suddenly.
Rule #65 // Maintain and respect your machine.
Bicycles must adhere to the Principle of Silence and as such must be
meticulously maintained. It must be cherished, and when leaning it against a
wall, must be leaned carefully such that only the bars, saddle, or tires
come in contact with the wall or post. This is true even when dismounting
prior to collapsing after the World Championship Time Trial. No squeaks,
creaks, or chain noise allowed. Only the soothing hum of your tires upon the
tarmac and the rhythm of your breathing may be audible when riding. When
riding the Pave, the sound of chain slap is acceptable. The Principle of
Silence can be extended to say that if you are suffering such that your
breathing begins to adversely effect the enjoyment of the other riders in
the bunch, you are to summarily sit up and allow yourself to be dropped.10
Rule #66 // No mirrors.
Mirrors are allowed on your (aptly named) Surly Big Dummy or your Surly Long
Haul Trucker. Not on your road steed. Not on your Mountain bike. Not on
your helmet. If someone familiar with The Rules has sold you such an
abomination, return the mirror and demand a refund, plus interest and
damages.
Rule #67 // Do your time in the wind.
Nobody likes a wheel sucker. You might think you’re playing a smart
tactical game by letting everyone else do the work while you sit on, but
races (even Town Sign Sprints) are won through cooperation and spending time
on the rivet, flogging yourself and taking risks. Riding wheels and jumping
past at the end is one thing and one thing only: poor sportsmanship.
Rule #68 // Rides are to be measured by quality, not quantity.
Rides are to be measured by the quality of their distance and never by
distance alone. For climbing rides, distances should be referred to by the
amount of vertical covered; flat and rolling rides should be referred to by
their distance and average speed. For example, declaring “We rode 4km”
would assert that 4000m were climbed during the ride, with the distance
being irrelevant. Conversely, a flat ride of 150km at 23kmh is not something
that should be discussed in an open forum and Rule #5 must be reviewed at
once.7
Rule #69 // Cycling shoes and bicycles are made for riding.
Any walking conducted while wearing cycling shoes must be strictly limited.
When taking a slash or filling bidons during a 200km ride (at 38kmh, see
Rule #68) one is to carefully stow one’s bicycle at the nearest point
navigable by bike and walk the remaining distance. It is strictly prohibited
that under any circumstances a cyclist should walk up a steep incline, with
the obvious exception being when said incline is blocked by riders who
crashed because you are on the Koppenberg. For clarification, see Rule #5.7
Rule #70 // The purpose of competing is to win.
End of. Any reference to not achieving this should be referred immediately
to Rule #5.11
Rule #71 // Train Properly.
Know how to train properly and stick to your training plan. Ignore other
cyclists with whom you are not intentionally riding. The time for being
competitive is not during your training rides, but during competition.
Rule #72 // Legs speak louder than words.
Unless you routinely demonstrate your riding superiority and the smoothness
of your Stroke, refrain from discussing your power meter, heartrate, or any
other riding data. Also see Rule 74.
Rule #73 // Gear and brake cables should be cut to optimum length.
Cables should create a perfect arc around the headtube and, whenever
possible, cross under the downtube. Right shifter cable should go to the
left cable stop and vice versa.
Rule #74 // V Meters or small computers only.
Forgo the data and ride on feel; little compares to the pleasure of riding
as hard as your mind will allow. If you are not a Pro or aspire to be one,
then you don’t need a SRM or PowerTap. To paraphrase BSNYC, an amateur
cyclist using a power meter is like hiring an accountant to tell you how
poor you are. As for Garmins, how often do you get lost on a ride? They are
bulky, ugly and superflous. Cycle computers should be simple, small and
mounted on the stem. And preferably wireless.
Rule #75 // Race numbers are for races.
Remove it from your frame before the next training ride because no matter
how cool you think it looks, it does not look cool. Unless you are in a race
. In which case it looks cool.
Rule #76 // Helmets are to be hung from your stem.
When not worn, helmets are to be clipped to the stem and draped over your
handlebars thusly.
Rule #77 // Respect the earth; don’t litter.
Cycling is not an excuse to litter. Do not throw your empty gel packets,
energy bar wrappers or punctured tubes on the road or in the bush. Stuff em
in your jersey pockets, and repair that tube when you get home.12
Rule #78 // Remove unnecessary gear.
When racing in a criterium of 60 minutes or less the second (unused) water
bottle cage must be removed in order to preserve the aesthetic of the racing
machine.13
Rule #79 // Fight for your town lines.
Town lines must be contested or at least faked if you’re not in to it or
too shagged to do anything but pedal the bike.
Rule #80 // Always be Casually Deliberate.
Waiting for others pre-ride or at the start line pre-race, you must be
tranquilo, resting on your top tube thusly. This may be extended to any time
one is aboard the bike, but not riding it, such as at stop lights.15
Rule #81 // Don’t talk it up.
Crashes may only be discussed and recounted when the rider or spectator has
ended up requiring hospitalization. Otherwise revert to Rule #5.
Rule #82 // Close the gap.
Whilst riding in cold and/or Rule 9 conditions replete with arm warmers,
under no circumstances is there to be any exposed skin between the hems of
your kit and the hems of your arm. If this occurs, you either need to wear a
kit that fits you properly or increase the size of your guns. Arm warmers
may, however, be shoved to the wrists in Five and Dime scenarios,
particularly those involving Rule #9 conditions. The No-Gap Principle also
applies to knee and leg warmers with the variation that these are under no
circumstances to be scrunched down around the ankles; Merckx have mercy on
whomever is caught in such a sorry, sorry state. It is important to note
that while one can wear arm warmers without wearing knee or leg warmers, one
cannot wear knee or leg warmers without wearing arm warmers (or a long
sleeve jersey). It is completely inappropriate to have uncovered arms, while
covering the knees, with the exception of brief periods of time when the
arm warmers may be shoved to the wrists while going uphill in a Five and
Dime situation. If the weather changes and one must remove a layer, the
knee/leg coverings must go before the arm coverings. If that means that
said rider must take off his knee or leg warmers while racing, then this is
a skill he must be accomplished in. The single exception would be before an
event in which someone plans on wearing neither arm or leg warmers while
racing, but would like to keep the legs warm before the event starts; though
wearing a long sleeve jersey over the racing kit at this time is also
advised. One must not forget to remove said leg warmers. 16
Rule #83 // Be self-sufficient.
Unless you are followed by a team car, you will repair your own punctures.
You will do so expediently, employing your own skills, using your own
equipment, and without complaining that your expensive tyres are too tight
for your puny thumbs to fit over your expensive rim. The fate of a rider who
has failed to equip himself pursuant to Rule #31, or who knows not how to
use said equipment, shall be determined at the discretion of any
accompanying or approaching rider in accordance with Rule #84.17
Rule #84 // Follow the Code.
Consistently with The Code Of The Domestique, the announcement of a flat
tyre in a training ride entitles – but does not oblige – all riders then
present in the bunch to cease riding without fear of being labelled Pussies.
All stopped riders are thereupon entitled – but not obliged – to lend
assistance, instruction and/or stringent criticism of the tyre mender’s
technique. The duration of a Rule #84 stop is entirely discretionary, but is
generally inversely proportional to the duration of the remaining time
available for post-ride espresso.17
Rule #85 // Descend like a Pro.
All descents shall be undertaken at speeds commonly regarded as “ludicrous
” or “insane” by those less talented. In addition all corners will be
traversed in an outside-inside-outside trajectory, with the outer leg
extended and the inner leg canted appropriately (but not too far as to
replicate a motorcycle racer, for you are not one), to assist in balance and
creation of an appealing aesthetic. Brakes are generally not to be employed
, but if absolutely necessary, only just prior to the corner. Also see Rule
#64.18
Rule #86 // Don’t half-wheel.
Never half-wheel your riding partners; it’s terrible form – it is always
the other guy who sets the pace. Unless, of course, you are on the rivet, in
which case it’s an excellent intimidation technique.22
Rule #87 // The Ride Starts on Time. No exceptions.
The upside of always leaving on time is considerable. Others will be late
exactly once. You signal that the sanctity of this ride, like all rides, is
not something with which you should muck. You demonstrate, not with words
but with actions, your commitment. As a bonus, you make more time for post-
ride espresso. “On Time”, of course, is taken to mean at V past the hour
or half hour.
Rule #88 // Don’t surge.
When rolling onto the front to take your turn in the wind, see Rule #67, do
not suddenly lift the pace unless trying to establish a break. The key to
maintaining a high average speed is to work with your companions and allow
no gaps to form in the line. It is permissible to lift the pace gradually
and if this results in people being dropped then they have been ridden off
your wheel and are of no use to the bunch anyway. If you are behind someone
who jumps on the pedals when they hit the front do not reprimand the
offender with cries of ‘Don’t Surge’ unless the offender is a Frenchman
named Serge.
Rule #89 // Pronounce it Correctly.
All races shall be referred to by the name given in its country of origin,
and care shall be taken to pronounce the name as well as possible. For
Belgian Races, it is preferable to choose the name given in its region of
origin, though it is at the speaker’s discretion to use either the Flemish
or Wallonian pronunciation. This principle shall also be extended to apply
to riders’ names, bicycle and component marquees, and cycling accoutrements.
Rule #90 // Never Get Out of the Big Ring.
If it gets steeper, just push harder on the pedals. When pressed on the
matter, the Apostle Johan Museeuw simply replied, “Yes, why would you slow
down?” It is, of course, acceptable to momentarily shift into the inner
ring when scaling the 20% ramps of the Kapelmuur.
Rule #91 // No Food On Training Rides Under Four Hours.
This one also comes from the Apostle, Johan Museeuw, who said to @frank: “
Yes, no food on rides under four hours. You need to lose some weight.” Or,
as Fignon put it, sometimes, when we train, we simply have to go out to meet
the Man with the Hammer. The exception is, of course, hard rides over two
hours and races. Also, if you’re planning on being out for more than four
hours, start eating before you get hungry. This aslo applies to energy drink
supplements. | t****u
发帖数: 10218 | | p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 3 Hardcore roadies' code of conduct? =D
【在 t****u 的大作中提到】
: Roadies code of conduct
| O****e
发帖数: 3290 | 4 你最欣赏那条？
.
Holist
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: Someone asked what the rules of bike jersey, and someone else point him to
: this link. It is hilarious. Totally loved it! =D
: ------------------------------------------------------
: THE RULES
: http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/
: by The Keepers / Jun 1 2009 / 6,291 posts
: We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred
: text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules.
: It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.
: For those struggling to understand exactly what it means to be a Rule Holist
| p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 5 47 & 91 =D
【在 O****e 的大作中提到】
: 你最欣赏那条？
:
: .
: Holist
| p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 6 47 & 91 =D
【在 O****e 的大作中提到】
: 你最欣赏那条？
:
: .
: Holist
| O****e
发帖数: 3290 | 7 Beer no food! Life is good.
俺最欣赏＃74，因为俺没有Power meter，也没有Garmin，哈哈。
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: 47 & 91 =D
| p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 8 强烈推荐这款bike computer。
http://www.cateye.com/en/products/detail/CC-RD300W/
我现在用的是第三个了。丢了一个，摔坏了一个，第三个正在服役ing。（倒霉孩子就
是我。。。）
有时候我觉得有点儿data overloaded了。所以我抛弃了smartphone。希望生活尽量保
持简单。
最后那条，本来我看完了准备出去quick short ride的，一般情况下我都会带点儿吃的
（羞），看了之后，我就只带了一瓶水。=D
【在 O****e 的大作中提到】
: Beer no food! Life is good.
: 俺最欣赏＃74，因为俺没有Power meter，也没有Garmin，哈哈。
| n******d
发帖数: 3583 | 9 呵呵，居然能码出90几条来。与其遵守这90几条，还不如随心所欲一点，跳上车，骑就
是啦。饼干桶的名言，shut the fuck up and run! | J********e
发帖数: 2284 | 10 最近拜了个老sprinter为师，正在实践 rule 79
.
Holist
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: Someone asked what the rules of bike jersey, and someone else point him to
: this link. It is hilarious. Totally loved it! =D
: ------------------------------------------------------
: THE RULES
: http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/
: by The Keepers / Jun 1 2009 / 6,291 posts
: We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred
: text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules.
: It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.
: For those struggling to understand exactly what it means to be a Rule Holist
| | | h******2
发帖数: 1498 | | p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 12 Are you wearing one at the moment? =D
//run
【在 h******2 的大作中提到】
: Rule #51
: !!
| h******2
发帖数: 1498 | 13 neither!
btw, your emoticon looks kinda funny.
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: Are you wearing one at the moment? =D
: //run
| p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 14 。。。
横眉太邪恶了。这大热天的，都在想些神马。。。
【在 h******2 的大作中提到】
: neither!
: btw, your emoticon looks kinda funny.
| n******d
发帖数: 3583 | 15 Rule #37 // The arms of the eyewear shall always be placed over the helmet
straps.
No exceptions. This is for various reasons that may or may not matter; it’s
just the way it is.
尽管我也是这么带的，可是为什么？实话说脱头盔前还有先取眼睛，很麻烦的说 | p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 16 这个好像更多的是为了安全因素考量。
’s
【在 n******d 的大作中提到】
: Rule #37 // The arms of the eyewear shall always be placed over the helmet
: straps.
: No exceptions. This is for various reasons that may or may not matter; it’s
: just the way it is.
: 尽管我也是这么带的，可是为什么？实话说脱头盔前还有先取眼睛，很麻烦的说
| c*******r
发帖数: 13580 | 17 elaborate, please?
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: 这个好像更多的是为了安全因素考量。
:
: ’s
| t****u
发帖数: 10218 | 18 主要是先戴眼镜后戴盔有可能带子收得不够紧。但是区别应该是微不足道的了。
主要还是形象，就如车座不能太靠前一样。
【在 c*******r 的大作中提到】
: elaborate, please?
| p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 19 Hmm, I just googled it. Apparently there are different reasons and it can be
done either way. Most for personal preference.
Here are some reasons.
1) The straps of the helmet should fit tightly, therefore no extra space for
glasses. But it also depends on the design of helmet or glasses.
2) When you fall, you don't want the glasses stuck in between your helmet
and your skull.
3) The logo of the glasses should be clearly visible. Well, this is for pros
who get sponsorship.
【在 c*******r 的大作中提到】
: elaborate, please?
| h******2
发帖数: 1498 | 20 Hey, you asked first.
:)
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: 。。。
: 横眉太邪恶了。这大热天的，都在想些神马。。。
| | | p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 21 我是问你有没有戴living strong的wristband。
原来横眉一直都这么邪恶。。。
【在 h******2 的大作中提到】
: Hey, you asked first.
: :)
| h******2
发帖数: 1498 | 22 Two more reasons:
- you're more likely to take off/put back on the shades before you take off
the helmet.
- the helmet strap provides a nice cushion against the legs of the shades.
be
for
pros
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: Hmm, I just googled it. Apparently there are different reasons and it can be
: done either way. Most for personal preference.
: Here are some reasons.
: 1) The straps of the helmet should fit tightly, therefore no extra space for
: glasses. But it also depends on the design of helmet or glasses.
: 2) When you fall, you don't want the glasses stuck in between your helmet
: and your skull.
: 3) The logo of the glasses should be clearly visible. Well, this is for pros
: who get sponsorship.
| h******2
发帖数: 1498 | 23 So you don't know what the other band is??
Then why would you call me 邪恶?
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: 我是问你有没有戴living strong的wristband。
: 原来横眉一直都这么邪恶。。。
| J********e
发帖数: 2284 | 24 太恶了你们两个STOP! 害得老子每次看到手腕上那个黄圈，就想起了那JB玩意儿...
【在 h******2 的大作中提到】
: So you don't know what the other band is??
: Then why would you call me 邪恶?
| h******2
发帖数: 1498 | 25 别，你试试把它戴到脚腕上，没准就自动满足rule #5了。
呵呵。
【在 J********e 的大作中提到】
: 太恶了你们两个STOP! 害得老子每次看到手腕上那个黄圈，就想起了那JB玩意儿...
| u*********s
发帖数: 2077 | 26 啥玩儿意？ 都没看懂这两个恶人在说啥....
【在 J********e 的大作中提到】
: 太恶了你们两个STOP! 害得老子每次看到手腕上那个黄圈，就想起了那JB玩意儿...
| i*********k
发帖数: 596 | | p********r
发帖数: 3799 | | p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 29 "btw, your emoticon looks kinda funny."
【在 h******2 的大作中提到】
: So you don't know what the other band is??
: Then why would you call me 邪恶?
| O****e
发帖数: 3290 | 30 I'm using the wired version w/ cadence sensor. 当时买的时候在wired和wireless
之间犹豫了一下，最后还是因为担心wireless的可靠信而选择了wired。
Looks like you don't have any problem with wireless.
By the way, my training motto:
Training is as much an art as a science.
The art part makes it more fun.
如果你有机会看＂Boy racer＂，Cavendish曾经和他的一位data obsessive教练有过严
重的冲突，可以算是两个极端的点型例子。不过Cav应该算是pro cyclist里的另类，他
的故事他的成功有很多看起来反常规的地方，值得思考。
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: 强烈推荐这款bike computer。
: http://www.cateye.com/en/products/detail/CC-RD300W/
: 我现在用的是第三个了。丢了一个，摔坏了一个，第三个正在服役ing。（倒霉孩子就
: 是我。。。）
: 有时候我觉得有点儿data overloaded了。所以我抛弃了smartphone。希望生活尽量保
: 持简单。
: 最后那条，本来我看完了准备出去quick short ride的，一般情况下我都会带点儿吃的
: （羞），看了之后，我就只带了一瓶水。=D
| | | h******2
发帖数: 1498 | 31 Oh, so you understood the joke? Takes one to know one, right?
:)
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: "btw, your emoticon looks kinda funny."
| k********8
发帖数: 7948 | 32 Rule #81 // Don’t talk it up.
Crashes may only be discussed and recounted when the rider or spectator has
ended up requiring hospitalization. Otherwise revert to Rule #5.
靠，这些个条条款款的怎么看都像是从controll freak口里出来的
所说我也有点controll freak | p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 33 我的这个wireless有一个不好，就是没有cadence。不过设计只能用neat来形容了。而
且我平时就用来看看距离和速度。如果真的要track的话，我有一个跑步用的GPS手表。
Boy Racer听起来真的挺有趣的，等我把手头囤积的这些本运动员传记读完了，就读这
本。
我有时觉得，跑步时候不看GPS手表，骑车时候不看bike computer，就专注运动本身，
也挺享受的。感觉和专注于数据完全不同，而且会更加享受。
不同的教练训练理念不同。写过Ultramarathon man的Dean Karnazes大学里练习长跑的
教练就推崇run with your heart；而他后来的track and field的教练就是data
obsessive。结果就是Dean之后就不再跑步了，知道30岁生日的时候，开始跑步，而且
一跑就是ultra，一发而不可收拾。。。
BTW: I like your training motto! =)
wireless
【在 O****e 的大作中提到】
: I'm using the wired version w/ cadence sensor. 当时买的时候在wired和wireless
: 之间犹豫了一下，最后还是因为担心wireless的可靠信而选择了wired。
: Looks like you don't have any problem with wireless.
: By the way, my training motto:
: Training is as much an art as a science.
: The art part makes it more fun.
: 如果你有机会看＂Boy racer＂，Cavendish曾经和他的一位data obsessive教练有过严
: 重的冲突，可以算是两个极端的点型例子。不过Cav应该算是pro cyclist里的另类，他
: 的故事他的成功有很多看起来反常规的地方，值得思考。
| p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 34 邪恶的横眉。哼！
【在 h******2 的大作中提到】
: Oh, so you understood the joke? Takes one to know one, right?
: :)
| c*******r
发帖数: 13580 | 35 我的GPS都一年多没开过了，表也不带，穿上鞋就跑，蹬上车就骑。不过为比赛训练的
时候我还是看pace的
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: 我的这个wireless有一个不好，就是没有cadence。不过设计只能用neat来形容了。而
: 且我平时就用来看看距离和速度。如果真的要track的话，我有一个跑步用的GPS手表。
: Boy Racer听起来真的挺有趣的，等我把手头囤积的这些本运动员传记读完了，就读这
: 本。
: 我有时觉得，跑步时候不看GPS手表，骑车时候不看bike computer，就专注运动本身，
: 也挺享受的。感觉和专注于数据完全不同，而且会更加享受。
: 不同的教练训练理念不同。写过Ultramarathon man的Dean Karnazes大学里练习长跑的
: 教练就推崇run with your heart；而他后来的track and field的教练就是data
: obsessive。结果就是Dean之后就不再跑步了，知道30岁生日的时候，开始跑步，而且
: 一跑就是ultra，一发而不可收拾。。。
| p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 36 这是我一直追求的境界。
可是我现在太菜了，不能很好的了解自己的身体，反而需要借助心率带来防止训练受伤
。不知道继续跑下去会不会有所改善。
BTW，桶桶，第十条很cool呀，我今天骑车的时候一直在想这条。
【在 c*******r 的大作中提到】
: 我的GPS都一年多没开过了，表也不带，穿上鞋就跑，蹬上车就骑。不过为比赛训练的
: 时候我还是看pace的
| n******d
发帖数: 3583 | | O****e
发帖数: 3290 | 38 你也来推荐两本运动员传记 ：）
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: 我的这个wireless有一个不好，就是没有cadence。不过设计只能用neat来形容了。而
: 且我平时就用来看看距离和速度。如果真的要track的话，我有一个跑步用的GPS手表。
: Boy Racer听起来真的挺有趣的，等我把手头囤积的这些本运动员传记读完了，就读这
: 本。
: 我有时觉得，跑步时候不看GPS手表，骑车时候不看bike computer，就专注运动本身，
: 也挺享受的。感觉和专注于数据完全不同，而且会更加享受。
: 不同的教练训练理念不同。写过Ultramarathon man的Dean Karnazes大学里练习长跑的
: 教练就推崇run with your heart；而他后来的track and field的教练就是data
: obsessive。结果就是Dean之后就不再跑步了，知道30岁生日的时候，开始跑步，而且
: 一跑就是ultra，一发而不可收拾。。。
| p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 39 A Life without Limit by Chrissie Wellington
Every Second Counts by Lance Armstrong
Finding Ultra by Rich Roll
What I Talk about When I Talk about Running by Haruki Murakami
Ultramarathon Man by Dean Karnazes
Born to Run by Christopher McDougall
I Am Here to Win by Chris Mccormack
High Infatuation by Steph Davis
Sorry that most of the books I read on sports are about triathlon and
running so far. And there are still a few in my kindle waiting for me to
read...
【在 O****e 的大作中提到】
: 你也来推荐两本运动员传记 ：）
| O****e
发帖数: 3290 | 40 Impressive list. Marked, thanks.
偶只看过Born to Run，呵呵。Not really a book reader but do enjoy it when I
find time for it.
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: A Life without Limit by Chrissie Wellington
: Every Second Counts by Lance Armstrong
: Finding Ultra by Rich Roll
: What I Talk about When I Talk about Running by Haruki Murakami
: Ultramarathon Man by Dean Karnazes
: Born to Run by Christopher McDougall
: I Am Here to Win by Chris Mccormack
: High Infatuation by Steph Davis
: Sorry that most of the books I read on sports are about triathlon and
: running so far. And there are still a few in my kindle waiting for me to
| | | p********y
发帖数: 5141 | 41 I actually listened half of the list during my mid/long runs or bike commute
(do not suggest as it might be dangerous...).
【在 O****e 的大作中提到】
: Impressive list. Marked, thanks.
: 偶只看过Born to Run，呵呵。Not really a book reader but do enjoy it when I
: find time for it.
| t****u
发帖数: 10218 | 42 赞阅读广
【在 p********y 的大作中提到】
: A Life without Limit by Chrissie Wellington
: Every Second Counts by Lance Armstrong
: Finding Ultra by Rich Roll
: What I Talk about When I Talk about Running by Haruki Murakami
: Ultramarathon Man by Dean Karnazes
: Born to Run by Christopher McDougall
: I Am Here to Win by Chris Mccormack
: High Infatuation by Steph Davis
: Sorry that most of the books I read on sports are about triathlon and
: running so far. And there are still a few in my kindle waiting for me to
|
|
