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发帖数: 2264 | 1 By Laura Schaefer
Women have puzzled over it for years — why the heck do men do the things
they do? Why do they profess their love for you one minute, then ignore you
the next (say, when an Attila the Hun special turns up on TV)? Why can they
not remember our birthdays? Let science explain some of these conundrums —
and help you rev up your relationships!
1. Be patient with his memory
The hippocampus, where initial memories are formed, occupies a smaller
percent of the male brain than the female brain. If on your first date he
can’t remember where you work, even though you told him all about it when
you met, just remember that size matters… hippocampus size, that is. Don’t
take it personally. (Oh, and don’t be surprised when, months down the line
, he has no clue you’ve just changed your hair.)
2. Don’t expect him to get hints
Have a crush on him? You may have to put it out there, because men aren’t
as skilled at women at reading subtle emotional cues. As Dr. Larry Cahill of
the University of California at Irvine puts it, “We have been assuming
that the ways in which emotions are organized in the brain are essentially
similar in men and women,” but they aren’t. Parts of the limbic cortex,
which is involved in emotional responses, are smaller in men than in women.
Additionally, scientists at McMaster University have found that guys have a
smaller density of neurons in areas of the temporal lobe that deal with
language processing. That’s why it’s probably a good idea to tell him
directly how you’re feeling (“I’m kind of hurt that you forgot I hate
sushi”). Expecting him to infer from your hints could leave both of you
scratching your heads.
3. Don’t take conversation lulls personally
In fact, guys in general just aren’t as verbally adept as women are. Large
parts of the cortex — the brain’s outer layer that does a big part of
recognizing and using subtle language cues — are thinner in men than they
are in women. A study led by Dr. Godfrey Pearlson of Johns Hopkins
University has shown that two areas in the frontal and temporal lobes that
play an important role in language processing are significantly smaller in
men. Using MRIs, the Johns Hopkins scientists measured gray matter volumes
in several brain regions in 17 females and 43 males. Women had 23 percent
more volume than men in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and 13 percent
more volume than men in the superior temporal cortex. “Women,” explains Dr
. Cahill, “excel in being able to come up with appropriate words, given
cues.” Men — not so much. Don’t expect him to chatter with you on dates
with the skill of a girlfriend, and don’t assume he’s not interested in
you if he occasionally lets the conversation lapse. Think of it this way: he
’s simply basking in your moments of quiet companionship.
4. Appreciate his naturally upbeat nature
Does he seem to be “up” most of the time? It’s not your imagination: male
brains produce 52 percent more serotonin (the chemical that influences mood
) than female brains, according to a study done at McGill University. And
studies show that fewer men than women suffer from depression. Guys may also
have an easier time rolling with life’s big stresses. If he tells you he
recently lost his golden lab or suffered a job loss and doesn’t get all
teary, it doesn’t mean he’s heartless; rather, he has healthy stores of
serotonin in his system.
5. Don’t expect his take on your relationship history to match yours
He may be incapable of seeing your shared past the way you do. Brain images
have started to show that men and women use their brains in vastly different
ways. For example, women use the left part of the amygdala — the part of
the brain that creates emotional reactions to events — to put memories in
order by emotional strength, meaning that something emotionally important to
them (like a great first date a couple of months ago) will be ordered in
front of what they ate for breakfast yesterday. Men, however, use the right
part of the amygdala to put memories in order. Traditionally, the right
hemisphere of the brain is associated with the central action of an event,
while the left hemisphere is associated with finer details. Translation: you
’ll both remember your first date, but he might not remember the color of
your sweater or the light rain that was falling that night. It doesn’t mean
he was checked out; it just means he’s a guy. |
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