s****y
发帖数: 3416 | 1 Have you found The One? Signs to Look for When You're Dating
Are you attracted to someone new? Are you getting ready to date…or have you
already started dating?
Before the relationship goes any further, perhaps you should be looking for
the markers that signify if you
are with a potential mate…or, if you’re wasting your time.
I often coach people who have gone through a divorce. When I ask them, “At
what point did you know you
were with the wrong person?” they invariably say, “I knew from the very
beginning. If only I had paid
attention to the warning signs.”
Do you know the signs that point to a relationship failure before it even
begins? Think about what you
MUST have around the following issues:
1. Values
The number one important area you need to consider when dating someone is if
you have similar values.
How will you know? Pay attention to how he or she treats the wait staff at
the restaurant if kindness is
important to you. Is honesty high on your list? Notice if he or she is
consistent in the stories told about their
exes or family members. Do you want a generous soul? How quickly does your
date spring for the check or
offer to share expenses? Do you want to be with someone who is successful?
If so, then you won’t want to
linger with anyone who whines and complains about anything in life. When you
know what your top ten
values are, then you can pay attention to the gestures and conversational
items that indicate where this
person’s character traits lie.
2. Children
The desire to have… or not have… children in your life is a big issue to
identify right away in a new
relationship. It’s unwise to think you will talk someone into a life
altering family arrangement once you are
in a marriage or a committed partnership. If your new love interest holds
the opposite view from you on the
issue of having children, LISTEN. You cannot force someone to feel the way
you want them to. And you
don’t want to spend years arguing and hurting about something that wasn’t
meant to happen between you
and this person. Have this discussion very soon and if you two have strong
opposing views, let go and move
on.
3. Pets
If you have pets, and you are like most people who consider their pets to be
their children, you need to
check out your date’s opinions on the subject. Personally…I couldn’t live
without my dog (even though I’m
known to complain all the way through the chewy puppy stage.) Whatever
animals you can and can’t allow
around you needs to be discussed right away. If you are a Siamese cat
breeder and your date goes into
seizures when he or she is around a cat, you have a serious challenge facing
you. It all depends on how
willing you are to talk and compromise in this area. If you are an ardent
animal fan, you want to look for
kindness and patience shown toward your furry or feathered friends from your
date. If your date has
animals you don’t like, can you be courageous enough to speak up and voice
your concerns? How you work
this issue through speaks volumes about how you will deal with future
difficulties in the relationship.
4. Employment
Your date needs to be securely, successfully employed— or on the brink of
it— if you want this relationship
to work. Great relationships happen when both people are mature enough to
take care of themselves.
Employment defines and liberates people emotionally and economically. If
your date has not had a
successful work record, you want to know the circumstances surrounding that
limitation and what the
person is realistically doing to turn that challenge around. The values to
look for are determination,
fortitude, and focus.
5. Saturday nights
If your date’s idea for a perfect evening of fun on Saturday night is to
hit the bars with his or her buddies
and drink themselves stupid—this person is not going to be grownup enough
for you. Nor will he be a great
match if he is constantly checking out the other women in the room. If you
think there is potential for a
relationship since he has other good qualities, maybe it’s worth a
conversation about what you noticed and
how it doesn’t work for you. If he apologizes and immediately starts to
alter his behavior, this is a hopeful
sign. For the ones who keep ogling every good looking female within sight,
you need to say…I’m outta
here.
If you want to spend less time with poor choices and more time with “The
One” you would be wise to
remember the signs. They will definitely make you…a SAVVY dater.
With warmest regards,
Tonja |
a*****0
发帖数: 6788 | 2 wonder how many men and women these sorts of BS have misguided? |
s****y
发帖数: 3416 | 3 I think mostly it's true.
I started to notice that it may be true about guys' ways of paying tips.
I know that they may not have money..but tips is important indicator of
being nice or not to common people.
And also if you are considerate or not. I mean at least 10% right?
especially when you are with a girl.
Once a guy said that he would treat me a meal for my birthday or something
and we went. He ended up not
giving tips. I was like...didn't know what to do and felt so embarrassed and
just walked out after him. I think I
should have left a dollar or two if I was not that shocked and didn't know
what to do. I think the waiters in the
restaurant must hate us to death.
Then the other day I hanged out with a guy and noticed that he gave tips
less than 10% at a dinner, although it
wasn't formal or anything but just a few bites. I felt that he may not be
too nice too. We can be friends but this
will be brought up once he wants to make a step further. But I seriously
doubt it.
【在 a*****0 的大作中提到】
: wonder how many men and women these sorts of BS have misguided?
|
E*****n
发帖数: 1565 | 4 a few bites?
要是在一般小店里，是不用给小费的呀
and
【在 s****y 的大作中提到】
: I think mostly it's true.
: I started to notice that it may be true about guys' ways of paying tips.
: I know that they may not have money..but tips is important indicator of
: being nice or not to common people.
: And also if you are considerate or not. I mean at least 10% right?
: especially when you are with a girl.
: Once a guy said that he would treat me a meal for my birthday or something
: and we went. He ended up not
: giving tips. I was like...didn't know what to do and felt so embarrassed and
: just walked out after him. I think I
|
a*****0
发帖数: 6788 | 5 Where in the original post does it mention tipping? Is paying attention
high on anyone's list?
Under #1 Values: "...Do you want a generous soul? How quickly does your
date spring for the check or offer to share expenses?..."
Did you offer to share expenses? Apparently that never occurred to you, did
it?
Always easy to pick on others but hard to find the wrongs in self, isn't it?
That's why these over-simplified rules are BS.
and
【在 s****y 的大作中提到】
: I think mostly it's true.
: I started to notice that it may be true about guys' ways of paying tips.
: I know that they may not have money..but tips is important indicator of
: being nice or not to common people.
: And also if you are considerate or not. I mean at least 10% right?
: especially when you are with a girl.
: Once a guy said that he would treat me a meal for my birthday or something
: and we went. He ended up not
: giving tips. I was like...didn't know what to do and felt so embarrassed and
: just walked out after him. I think I
|
s****y
发帖数: 3416 | 6 当然不是啦。。就是我们吃了两个店。。第二个也是cafe类的侍应服务很好的，而且是
个大帅哥（一直想说为啥这么帅还要
当侍应的说）。。
他给我倒水的专注样让我觉得他服务真的不错，所以还大声说了句谢谢
朋友没给超过10％让我脸往哪儿搁（他刷信用卡，我没带够现金，下次我请）。。哎算
了。。
【在 E*****n 的大作中提到】
: a few bites?
: 要是在一般小店里，是不用给小费的呀
:
: and
|
s****y
发帖数: 3416 | 7 “Pay attention to how he or she treats the wait staff at the restaurant if
kindness is important to you.”
这个你别说真的很有代表性，不可轻看。我说的两个朋友都有迹象表明他们确实不是很
合适做男朋友那种，很小器很不顾及
别人。
did
it?
【在 a*****0 的大作中提到】
: Where in the original post does it mention tipping? Is paying attention
: high on anyone's list?
: Under #1 Values: "...Do you want a generous soul? How quickly does your
: date spring for the check or offer to share expenses?..."
: Did you offer to share expenses? Apparently that never occurred to you, did
: it?
: Always easy to pick on others but hard to find the wrongs in self, isn't it?
: That's why these over-simplified rules are BS.
:
: and
|
a*****0
发帖数: 6788 | 8 have to say people alike tend to be attracted to each other. LOL.
if
【在 s****y 的大作中提到】
: “Pay attention to how he or she treats the wait staff at the restaurant if
: kindness is important to you.”
: 这个你别说真的很有代表性，不可轻看。我说的两个朋友都有迹象表明他们确实不是很
: 合适做男朋友那种，很小器很不顾及
: 别人。
:
: did
: it?
|
s****y
发帖数: 3416 | 9 what do you mean? I didn't say a word that I was attracted to them AT ALL.
【在 a*****0 的大作中提到】
: have to say people alike tend to be attracted to each other. LOL.
:
: if
|
g****g
发帖数: 365 | 10 帖子不错！说的几个value都很在理！确实要关注这几个方面 |
