由买买提看人间百态

boards

本页内容为未名空间相应帖子的节选和存档,一周内的贴子最多显示50字,超过一周显示500字 访问原贴
Love版 - [合集] 怎样识别男生是真心喜欢你, 还是想玩玩你的?
相关主题
一夜情让我和他成为了夫妻,我们会幸福吗?有个爱养生的女朋友我要被逼疯了
在硅谷,你不要哭,坚强起来更喜欢富老公买的蛋糕or穷老公做的蛋糕?
现在异性做什么会让你感动或瞬间触动一下?又来show off
男人有时也很无情这次分手了,还有挽回的余地吗?
完美的爱情应该是什么样子呢?[合集] 这次分手了,还有挽回的余地吗?
单纯的爱人之心[合集] 这次分手了,还有挽回的余地吗?
[合集] 如果寂寞如影随形—对话深陷困扰中的姐妹好生气啊
知道ex把第一次献给了小姐整个人都不好了[合集] 好生气啊
相关话题的讨论汇总
话题: 玩玩话题: 对方话题: 喜欢话题: 识别话题: 真心
进入Love版参与讨论
1 (共1页)
S*********f
发帖数: 1938
1
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
abc111 (不要问我是谁) 于 (Mon Aug 23 19:24:58 2010, 美东) 提到:
比如老是约你吃饭看电影出去玩什么的,年少的时候以为这就算是追求你了,来这里以后
才发现不少男生只是想骗你上床或占点便宜之类的。
在没有表白的情况下,有什么招可以分辨人家是要向serious relationship发展,还是
只想玩玩而已?要是后者就不奉陪了
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
commoner (common) 于 (Mon Aug 23 19:56:34 2010, 美东) 提到:
Some guys would say anything sweet to get into your pants.
What you need is to be firm, don't let him get physical too quickly. If a
guy is truly falling for you, he will respect you and be patient.Because he
doesn't want to risk losing you if he act too hastily or misled you about
his intention.
Also, don't let him read your mind like an open book. Whatever feeling you
have for him, don't let out too quickly. Hold it. A little encouragement
every now and then. This would drive a guy who truly cares about you nuts.
He will spill his guts out in desperate, hoping to exchange for your true
thoughts about him. In this process, you can learn what his true intention
is, whether he is a player or serious. Be mysterious, not too much though,
because some would get frustrated too easily and give up too quickly. If
this happens, give him a little sugar to let him know not all hope is lost.
This sounds a lot like gaming, but actually not. This is a way to best
protect you yet to get to know a suitor. Once you are sure, he is for real,
he is true to you, you can gradually let him to how much you care for him.
But not too much. Acting needy would only pushes people away.
Its something hard to gauge. It takes time to learn.
With all that said, there is no guarantee you can know one person's "true"
mind. No one can, only the person himself knows. You cannot open a guy's
head and read his thoughts. Nobody can.
Life is full of risks and uncertainty. You just have to deal with it. No
risk, no reward.
Protect yourself, not wrap yourself up and erect a stonewall.
If you are lucky, you meet a young, pure and innocent boy, with good spirit,
all this testing and trials are not necessary. Enjoy the gift of life.
Life is too short, enjoy the moment. Sometime we get burned, but its OK.
Shit happens, we learn from it and move on, becoming a wiser person.
Good luck!
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
IndigoBlue (减不了肥不是偶的错,要怪就怪偶好吃懒做) 于 (Mon Aug 23 20:01:36 2010, 美东) 提到:
this was not written by you...

he
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
commoner (common) 于 (Mon Aug 23 20:02:20 2010, 美东) 提到:
Why do you say so?
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
IndigoBlue (减不了肥不是偶的错,要怪就怪偶好吃懒做) 于 (Mon Aug 23 20:05:11 2010, 美东) 提到:
Well, was it? :)
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
commoner (common) 于 (Mon Aug 23 20:06:13 2010, 美东) 提到:
Of course.
My finger tips are still burning.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
commoner (common) 于 (Mon Aug 23 20:06:39 2010, 美东) 提到:
why is it hard to believe?
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
IndigoBlue (减不了肥不是偶的错,要怪就怪偶好吃懒做) 于 (Mon Aug 23 20:09:26 2010, 美东) 提到:
well, I read the first few sentences and they sound so generic...it seems
like you just copied it off from some dating advice site.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
commoner (common) 于 (Mon Aug 23 20:16:51 2010, 美东) 提到:
Well, I guess wise minds speak alike....hahaha
Seriously, these came from my own life experience, not generic. I guess
human relationships are all similar at the fundamental level.
But everyone dreams about the click at the first moment kind passion, no
reservation, no hold back, no tricks...just two people enjoy their true
selves.
Reality is far from ideal, that's why you need some skill, shield to protect
your fragile heart. Don't put it out there in plain sight, because there
are predators, selfish people. Many people would take advantage of others
vulnerability when there is a chance, because it is easy and tempting.
Even an established relationship needs skill to nurture and maintain. A good
heart and pure intention are not enough.
Sorry, sounds like cheesy dating doctor.
Whatever, I am just killing time here.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
mony (Stupid Man) 于 (Mon Aug 23 20:35:06 2010, 美东) 提到:
This kind of process just let some guys know your tricks and then hate you
more. Too much drama. Be sincere and have a beautiful mind, which will get
you a nice man you want.
he
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
parfume (月淡风清) 于 (Mon Aug 23 20:54:15 2010, 美东) 提到:
试试看他愿不愿意陪你做一些无聊的事情,比如陪你逛街一天,你却什么都不买。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
liftway (liftway) 于 (Mon Aug 23 21:30:24 2010, 美东) 提到:
Interesting...not a bad idea. If I got to love a girl, I would be more than
happy just to stay with her for one whole day...
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
abcxyz2046 (总钻风) 于 (Mon Aug 23 21:37:04 2010, 美东) 提到:
你是谁?
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
MichaelChen (Michael) 于 (Mon Aug 23 21:38:04 2010, 美东) 提到:
protect
你男的女的?
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
MichaelChen (Michael) 于 (Mon Aug 23 21:39:54 2010, 美东) 提到:
They have to play tricks, welcome to the world.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
IndigoBlue (减不了肥不是偶的错,要怪就怪偶好吃懒做) 于 (Mon Aug 23 22:02:20 2010, 美东) 提到:
I guess I've been fortunate - I never played games when I dated and never
dated guys who wanted to play games with me. The reason I broke up with guys
I dated before was always due to other factors (like incompatible
personality). But every single one has been sincere about the relationship.
So personally I wouldn't suggest people to do what you said but that's just
me.
protect
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
mony (Stupid Man) 于 (Mon Aug 23 22:18:24 2010, 美东) 提到:
So do you like to play yourself with these tricks?
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
shh123 (blueberry) 于 (Mon Aug 23 23:39:47 2010, 美东) 提到:
恩,你说的很好呢
he
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
toughtough (born to be tough) 于 (Mon Aug 23 23:55:02 2010, 美东) 提到:
most likely 想玩玩而已, maybe wrong, but most cases
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
Quaker (Oatmeal) 于 (Tue Aug 24 01:48:21 2010, 美东) 提到:
其实男人把很瞧不起很快上床的女生
凡是上床快的女生都不用serious交往了,反正来的容易
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
condohunting (yeahright) 于 (Tue Aug 24 02:22:45 2010, 美东) 提到:
You seem to consider yourself smarter than the guy, and you are in control
the whole time. However, if you are dealing with a sincere but smart man,
he may not have the patience for this BS. It's too much tactics and very
little real love.
My advice is much simpler: Just think it through and be ready to take
consequences when you drop your pants. Other than that, be sincere and enjoy
it. There are still many good guys out there. Fact is, many of them are
abused by women.
he
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
MichaelChen (Michael) 于 (Tue Aug 24 03:22:14 2010, 美东) 提到:
Don't like, but have to deal with it. They are vulnerable and have to protect themselves.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
mony (Stupid Man) 于 (Tue Aug 24 09:13:44 2010, 美东) 提到:
Understand. Hope you carefully deal with them with your sincere boundaries.
protect themselves.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
secret007 (sunflower) 于 (Tue Aug 24 09:58:54 2010, 美东) 提到:
well said!!!
the process really sounds like a psychological game. it seems the one first
let out of true feeling probably would end up be a loser.
if she really has feeling for him, it is kinda hard to remain calm/be
mysterious in front of him, she might be nervous, want to know him more and
really care about him (giving love is just a nature overflow). It is said
women in love usually have ZERO IQ.
Sure, being a little mysterious would intrigue/motivate the man, the hunter,
to chase after you or read your mind. But it is not easy to remain
mysterious when you fell for him, you just wanna be sincere and honest and
exchange the true thoughts.
In 'Lie to me', Dr. Lightman said: she is completely an open book, but
trying desperately to be inscrutable
it is just difficult to play psychological game in front of the expert/
dating doctor..
he
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
mymmym (格蓝凝雪) 于 (Tue Aug 24 10:36:14 2010, 美东) 提到:
True. If a girl can play that game skillfully. That girl is not that with
pure love anymore. She must have much experience and to certain extent, be a
bad girl. Or she has other objects than love.
A real girl in deep love with a man is tend to be very silly. She wants to
see him everyday, wants to tell him about herself. She can even change her
bad temper and outlook. Sometimes girls' love is somewhat selfish. That's
why girls need skills. But since wonmen tend to love with soul, they still
will not give out their physical easily.
真心爱你的男生可能会在心里很想快点接近你,但是他们往往克制力更强些,因为他们
绝对不会去伤害你。
请客吃饭、帮忙、对你好不一定是男的喜欢你。是不是真心有爱,女生都有第六感,自
己分辨一下他到底是滥情还是真情。其实说到底,可能男的自己都不清楚自己到底是真
对你产生感情了,还是只是像对所有女孩子那样的好,他就是张无忌。
first
and
hunter,
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
mony (Stupid Man) 于 (Tue Aug 24 11:19:59 2010, 美东) 提到:
Who is the loser eventually?
The one to let out of true feeling? The way I see it, the one who is always
be protective lose himself/herself.
first
and
hunter,
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
toyo (每见繁盛) 于 (Tue Aug 24 11:34:43 2010, 美东) 提到:
以前有个男同学说,男人为你花钱花时间也都可以只是玩玩,真心喜欢一个人,是对她
负责任。至于如何才算负责任,每个人大概需要自己体会吧。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
secret007 (sunflower) 于 (Tue Aug 24 11:46:22 2010, 美东) 提到:
sorry for the wording.
regarding the game, usually the result is win/lose. usually someone has to
take the initiative, someone has to lose something in order to gain
something.
sure, the one who is always be protective lose himself/herself.
maybe just be yourself and careful are the 'best' choices.
always
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
Plasma50 (Plasma50) 于 (Tue Aug 24 12:51:41 2010, 美东) 提到:
you can't tell. bottom line you have to make sure it's all worth it.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
sweetpizza (羊羊,我是一只羊~~) 于 (Tue Aug 24 13:20:53 2010, 美东) 提到:
Nope, what he said is very useful according true experience.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
rongrong2009 (茸茸) 于 (Tue Aug 24 13:25:34 2010, 美东) 提到:
只要不上床不就完了吗?他想请你吃饭就吃呗
还有,如果他把你介绍给亲朋好友就可能是认真的
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
LilyBlossom (LilyBlossom) 于 (Tue Aug 24 16:09:57 2010, 美东) 提到:
date得时候不要考虑这么多吧,just be yourself. 计算得失我觉得没有意义。就算一
开始真心未必以后时,一开始半真心后来也可能变真心。relationship是一个很复杂的
事情,取决于
女人本身的魅力和实力,是一个拉力战,而不是单单上床不上床这么简单。
我觉得大多数男人并不是纯粹的花花公子,刚跟你在一起的时候是处于试探阶段的,这
个时候他不想承诺很多。上床与否并不时重点,而是相处了一段时间以后你有没有令他
着迷的地方,美貌,性格举止,自身能力甚至家世,都count。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
purplebasil (多年花生捏成bar) 于 (Tue Aug 24 18:17:54 2010, 美东) 提到:
我觉得,男女一开始,就是化学反应,长久不长久要看两人相处如何,一见种晴容易,
一见就许下一生的承诺很难,所以不能太患得患失,如果你自己都不能品尝到两情相悦
的美好,那么又如何让对方觉得你就是给他三颗痣的那个人呢?
另外,我同意commoner的说法,保持神秘感新鲜感让对方揣摩来揣摩去经历感情的点滴
起伏,是让对方越陷越深的有效手段,他发现不付出就得不到你,才会不断付出,感情
也就不断加深。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
LilyBlossom (LilyBlossom) 于 (Tue Aug 24 19:09:40 2010, 美东) 提到:
看了这么多痴男怨女
发现有一条规律很重要
就是人本身的quality,无论男人女人
date和自己quality相当的人,serious relationship可能性很大
反之,玩弄的可能性很大
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
tapestry (so far away) 于 (Tue Aug 24 22:53:16 2010, 美东) 提到:
Hahaha... do't mislead by fairy stories. love can change. but the way how a
man choose his wife doesn't change much.
A Serious Man means he is considering live with you and marry you when he is
approaching. especially after several deep talking.
if you want to know if your man is serious or not. Just see how comfortable
he would like to see your parents, and how comfortable he or she would like
you to see his parents.
loop in family is the essential step to any serious relationship you are
looking for.
and BTW, adjust your thought.
It doesn't matter how soon you have sex or how many tricks you play to make
him feel you are not cheap. because you will find to be a virgin is not that
important after 25. And both charming woman and man needs some experiences
to grow up. So don't worry too much and just focus on what is really attract
you in this man and what is not. It is you who choose a boy friend you like
.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
elelelelel (貂皮小裤衩) 于 (Tue Aug 24 23:18:55 2010, 美东) 提到:
这个其实很容易看出来的,看不出来的绝大多数的情况下是因为你喜欢上他了
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
blueship (blueship) 于 (Tue Aug 24 23:26:06 2010, 美东) 提到:
great comments.
u seem very experienced:)
he
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
fleedom (fleedom) 于 (Wed Aug 25 06:11:16 2010, 美东) 提到:
约你是对你有好感,想进一步增进相互了解。男的干嘛那么快喜欢上你不喜欢上别人。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
bigcatfish (垂钓坐磐石 水清心亦闲) 于 (Wed Aug 25 12:40:54 2010, 美东) 提到:
跟他提结婚,订日子,见家长,发消息,买房子,买家具。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
sunnystar (iamMD) 于 (Wed Aug 25 15:53:32 2010, 美东) 提到:
那岂不累死?
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
discuss (discuss) 于 (Thu Aug 26 20:26:18 2010, 美东) 提到:
另外,我同意commoner的说法,保持神秘感新鲜感让对方揣摩来揣摩去经历感情的点滴
起伏,是让对方越陷越深的有效手段,他发现不付出就得不到你,才会不断付出,感情
也就不断加深。他发现不付出就得不到你,才会不断付出,感情: 也就不断加深。。。。
真是一个可笑的逻辑。 天下女生又不是你一个。
对这样虚伪不爽快的,不管付出没有付出过,都要趁早分掉,还谈何加深。只是加深厌
恶感罢了。
还有什么叫付出,两人本该平等相处,而不是要一方去为你付出。你要把想别人付出,
价格定低点还
有可能出手,定高了就没有人要了。为什么还期望别人对你感情越来越深呢。
真是荒唐啊。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
discuss (discuss) 于 (Thu Aug 26 20:28:48 2010, 美东) 提到:
同意。那些故作姿态的女人还烦人的,最后没有什么好结果也应该。
you
get
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
discuss (discuss) 于 (Thu Aug 26 20:36:59 2010, 美东) 提到:
commoner说的是Learn,而不是付出。这两者有很大不同。
。。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
pure (小纯) 于 (Thu Aug 26 20:58:36 2010, 美东) 提到:
你说的挺对的
喜欢彼此真诚平等相待,不喜欢攻于心计
。。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
discuss (discuss) 于 (Thu Aug 26 21:06:32 2010, 美东) 提到:
谢谢。
真诚的人才能得到真诚的人喜欢,
玩心计的人最后玩自己,最起码在感情婚姻领域基本如此。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
Rosemary1 (Rosemary) 于 (Thu Aug 26 21:54:48 2010, 美东) 提到:
that is hard. I think loss is part of life. Sometimes you lose your heart,
sometimes you lose your soul, and sometimes, you lose your body, or even
life.
good man are hard to find. Even you find the one, would you think such
people are so stupid, that they treat you so nicely so long, in the
environment nowadays?
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
a468950 (jojo) 于 (Fri Aug 27 09:32:29 2010, 美东) 提到:
不用费心了,都是想玩玩你的。 你不也想玩么。大家一起玩,其乐无穷。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
RunLife50 (NiceHandsomeShyThoughtfulSmartYoungMan) 于 (Fri Aug 27 15:58:08 2010, 美东) 提到:
我觉得最有效的方法就是跟他明说。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
Didadi8 (love life) 于 (Sat Aug 28 22:00:25 2010, 美东) 提到:
明说上了床就要负责任,看他还敢上不?
哈哈。。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
Patchouli (夏日薄荷) 于 (Sat Aug 28 22:02:35 2010, 美东) 提到:
有的人心里素质很强大的。
明说上了床就要负责任,看他还敢上不?
哈哈。。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
PharmD (夜里发呆) 于 (Wed Sep 1 15:00:46 2010, 美东) 提到:
这太危言耸听了。一个女人跟一个男人上了床之后发现他只是想玩玩,当然会郁闷,但
是女方得脆弱到什么地步才能因为这就又lose heart又lose soul……大家都take it
easy不好吗?
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
PharmD (夜里发呆) 于 (Wed Sep 1 15:05:19 2010, 美东) 提到:
这句我很同意。世界上做任何事都有风险,都可能得不到自己最想要的后果。买股票也
得先想清楚了,然后根据自己能承受的可能最大损失来规划自己的投资策略。谈恋爱、
上床,也是完全一样的道理。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
japancat (毛毛) 于 (Thu Sep 2 10:44:39 2010, 美东) 提到:
看他是不是常常谈及你们的生活计划,构想和你共同的未来。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
Sake09 (小酒) 于 (Thu Sep 2 11:34:08 2010, 美东) 提到:
有谁跟我一样讨厌这个题目?
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
shaking (泡) 于 (Thu Sep 2 11:50:47 2010, 美东) 提到:
举手!
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
skibo (絮雨穿肠) 于 (Sat Sep 4 07:56:58 2010, 美东) 提到:
累不累啊
he
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
jiubaozhe (就叫大宝) 于 (Sat Sep 4 09:42:48 2010, 美东) 提到:
此方法结果多半是淘汰掉真感情或者有自尊的男生,留下些死缠烂打的。
更可悲的是,死缠烂打的不但只是觉得这样好玩,不是因为喜欢那个女生,而且以后会
处于报复心理更容易劈腿。
he
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
well26 (luckybird) 于 (Sat Sep 4 10:14:48 2010, 美东) 提到:
LZ要做好心理准备
男生喜欢你还是玩玩你是要看如何‘下床’的
不管喜欢你还是玩玩你,之前的表现都是相同,想和你‘上床’的
这个‘床’是道具,你绕不开的
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
mony (Stupid Man) 于 (Sun Sep 5 09:28:47 2010, 美东) 提到:
Very interesting. I've never thought in this way. Agree.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
Galleon (盖伦) 于 (Mon Sep 6 17:47:29 2010, 美东) 提到:
Re.
而且一个男人如果没有自尊,说明人品非常不好,因为连自尊都可以出卖的人,还有什
么不可以出卖的?简直就不是个男人。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
sapphy (不再思念小醋鱼) 于 (Sun Sep 12 21:52:36 2010, 美东) 提到:
说得真好,that's my case. I can't tell if he is in love with me and I am
confused, because I love him.
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
story9988 (小小故事人) 于 (Sun Sep 12 22:04:45 2010, 美东) 提到:
严重同意。
这个就是很奇怪。
男人喜欢很快和女人上床。但是男人不喜欢很快和他上床的女人。
所以,很多上完就甩的case出现了。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
DWTT09 (GOGO) 于 (Sun Sep 12 22:18:41 2010, 美东) 提到:
别费这精神了。感情凭感觉,婚姻凭缘分。没缘分的话,再爱也白搭。。。。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
hswlin (美丽心情) 于 (Mon Sep 13 15:58:40 2010, 美东) 提到:
负责任这个帽子好大, 谁知道是什么呢
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
dapianzi (waste time) 于 (Mon Sep 13 16:22:23 2010, 美东) 提到:
没区别的。
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
bdbd (kakali) 于 (Mon Sep 13 16:23:51 2010, 美东) 提到:
问题是喜欢骗女生上床,又不负责任的男生,送给你你也不会要吧?
举头三尺有神明,干这种缺德事的男生,你觉得能有什么前途呢?
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
fredrick (闰土) 于 (Mon Sep 13 17:12:23 2010, 美东) 提到:
i totally agree with this post.
control
man,
enjoy
are
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
fredrick (闰土) 于 (Mon Sep 13 17:18:59 2010, 美东) 提到:
不知道你是个男的还是女的,但是你说的这些可能对一些死皮赖脸的人管用,但是对于
很多有自尊的
男人来说,太多的game只会把他们推开。我认为你的建议看似是在保护女方,其实这样
做的结果反而
是害了女方。而且感情就是感情,为什么喜欢一个人还要玩命hold back??这不是自
己作呢么?
我觉得,如果你喜欢对方,但是又在性方面比较传统,跟对方坦诚布公就好了,如果对
方是个好男
人,且爱惜你的话,不会侵犯你的,会等到你愿意跟他尝禁果的时候。如果对方一直对
性纠缠不休,
那也说明对方只是想玩玩。
If a
patient.Because he
about
you
encouragement
nuts.
true
intention
1 (共1页)
进入Love版参与讨论
相关主题
[合集] 好生气啊完美的爱情应该是什么样子呢?
[合集] 很害怕自己会陷进去单纯的爱人之心
[合集] 对一个女生动心了[合集] 如果寂寞如影随形—对话深陷困扰中的姐妹
[合集] 对男生表白好不好?知道ex把第一次献给了小姐整个人都不好了
一夜情让我和他成为了夫妻,我们会幸福吗?有个爱养生的女朋友我要被逼疯了
在硅谷,你不要哭,坚强起来更喜欢富老公买的蛋糕or穷老公做的蛋糕?
现在异性做什么会让你感动或瞬间触动一下?又来show off
男人有时也很无情这次分手了,还有挽回的余地吗?
相关话题的讨论汇总
话题: 玩玩话题: 对方话题: 喜欢话题: 识别话题: 真心