L****n
发帖数: 12932 | 1 今天碰到一个80多岁的老太， 来做breast biopsy, 先到radiology做了X光定位 - 有
根金属丝留在胸前， 然后用纸杯罩住，再回手术室。 见到我就说：Doc, you can
call me lady Gaga. I said why? She said:" now i have my third boob coming
out from the cup." 全场晕倒。 | L****n
发帖数: 12932 | 2 Share some of your humor, medicine related, on the board please. Let's have
some laugh. | j****a
发帖数: 3 | 3
【在 L****n 的大作中提到】
: 今天碰到一个80多岁的老太， 来做breast biopsy, 先到radiology做了X光定位 - 有
: 根金属丝留在胸前， 然后用纸杯罩住，再回手术室。 见到我就说：Doc, you can
: call me lady Gaga. I said why? She said:" now i have my third boob coming
: out from the cup." 全场晕倒。
| L****n
发帖数: 12932 | 4
someone stole my vagina...
【在 j****a 的大作中提到】
| A*******s
发帖数: 9638 | 5 This is a real case when I just started to practice.
55 yrs old WM was diagnosed as Herpes Encephalitis in ICU. His wife was so
nervous, and worried about STDs.
One day, after she did an extensive internet search, she draged me into a
private room, and asked me what exactly happened to her husband. I told her,
her husband was infected by HSV type 1, not the type 2. I further
explained that type 1 is common seen in oral herpes infection, whereas type
2 is genital herpes. So she does not need to worry about STDs.
To my surprise, she suddenly broke into tears, and said: " We just had oral
before this happened..."
I became speechless and my face just felt hot... | L****n
发帖数: 12932 | | s****p
发帖数: 1087 | 7 感觉现在版上很活泼，呵呵。
【在 L****n 的大作中提到】
: 今天碰到一个80多岁的老太， 来做breast biopsy, 先到radiology做了X光定位 - 有
: 根金属丝留在胸前， 然后用纸杯罩住，再回手术室。 见到我就说：Doc, you can
: call me lady Gaga. I said why? She said:" now i have my third boob coming
: out from the cup." 全场晕倒。
| f****b
发帖数: 2410 | 8 Are you sure that your face felt hot? The study shows that
oral sex causes oral cancer rate increase in last decade.
I think that the woman is so cute to talk that way to her doctor.
was so
into a
told her,
type
oral
【在 A*******s 的大作中提到】
: This is a real case when I just started to practice.
: 55 yrs old WM was diagnosed as Herpes Encephalitis in ICU. His wife was so
: nervous, and worried about STDs.
: One day, after she did an extensive internet search, she draged me into a
: private room, and asked me what exactly happened to her husband. I told her,
: her husband was infected by HSV type 1, not the type 2. I further
: explained that type 1 is common seen in oral herpes infection, whereas type
: 2 is genital herpes. So she does not need to worry about STDs.
: To my surprise, she suddenly broke into tears, and said: " We just had oral
: before this happened..."
| L****n
发帖数: 12932 | 9 don't know about your experience, Chinese are all too serious. I like to
throw jokes - at the beginning of a seminar, or conference, a witty nicely-
articulated humor can turn the attitude all the way around. We used to have
M&M early in the morning, and it was always very serious(气氛严肃，甚至可以
说萧杀）, many also not fully awake and not paying attention. one time it was
my turn, and i opened the talk with a one liner - "OK, this is my turn to
be the punching bag" - Everybody was laughing. there were still some sharp
criticism after my presentation, but much less. To my surprise, also got a
lot praises for my slides - they actually paid attention to how i orgainized
the whole talk.
【在 A*******s 的大作中提到】
: This is a real case when I just started to practice.
: 55 yrs old WM was diagnosed as Herpes Encephalitis in ICU. His wife was so
: nervous, and worried about STDs.
: One day, after she did an extensive internet search, she draged me into a
: private room, and asked me what exactly happened to her husband. I told her,
: her husband was infected by HSV type 1, not the type 2. I further
: explained that type 1 is common seen in oral herpes infection, whereas type
: 2 is genital herpes. So she does not need to worry about STDs.
: To my surprise, she suddenly broke into tears, and said: " We just had oral
: before this happened..."
| j****a
发帖数: 3 | 10 You are my idol.
have
was
orgainized
【在 L****n 的大作中提到】
: don't know about your experience, Chinese are all too serious. I like to
: throw jokes - at the beginning of a seminar, or conference, a witty nicely-
: articulated humor can turn the attitude all the way around. We used to have
: M&M early in the morning, and it was always very serious(气氛严肃，甚至可以
: 说萧杀）, many also not fully awake and not paying attention. one time it was
: my turn, and i opened the talk with a one liner - "OK, this is my turn to
: be the punching bag" - Everybody was laughing. there were still some sharp
: criticism after my presentation, but much less. To my surprise, also got a
: lot praises for my slides - they actually paid attention to how i orgainized
: the whole talk.
| | | j****a
发帖数: 3 | 11 You could say back:
"sure, you got it, ladygagaga". | A*******s
发帖数: 9638 | 12 It is called "trust", but then I was not prepared to hear this.
For man who makes joke like this, I'll follow for sure. But for woman,
absolutely no, no matter who she is. This has nothing to do with
personalities.
You can be TXed by a patient but you never, ever TX a patient.
【在 f****b 的大作中提到】
: Are you sure that your face felt hot? The study shows that
: oral sex causes oral cancer rate increase in last decade.
: I think that the woman is so cute to talk that way to her doctor.
:
: was so
: into a
: told her,
: type
: oral
| A*******s
发帖数: 9638 | 13 I make jokes everyday with my patients. That is why I enjoyed my job so
much.
Otherwise, I'll be stressed out with both outpatient and inpatient coverage.
have
was
orgainized
【在 L****n 的大作中提到】
: don't know about your experience, Chinese are all too serious. I like to
: throw jokes - at the beginning of a seminar, or conference, a witty nicely-
: articulated humor can turn the attitude all the way around. We used to have
: M&M early in the morning, and it was always very serious(气氛严肃，甚至可以
: 说萧杀）, many also not fully awake and not paying attention. one time it was
: my turn, and i opened the talk with a one liner - "OK, this is my turn to
: be the punching bag" - Everybody was laughing. there were still some sharp
: criticism after my presentation, but much less. To my surprise, also got a
: lot praises for my slides - they actually paid attention to how i orgainized
: the whole talk.
| L****n
发帖数: 12932 | 14
coverage.
see, i was right again. knew you are full of 喜感。
i am usually pretty good at 连蒙带估， hehe.
【在 A*******s 的大作中提到】
: I make jokes everyday with my patients. That is why I enjoyed my job so
: much.
: Otherwise, I'll be stressed out with both outpatient and inpatient coverage.
:
: have
: was
: orgainized
| M****a
发帖数: 577 | 15 1. A 60-YO female said:" I have a loving boyfriend called arthritis."
2. Another 60 YO female said:" I am Ms.Piggy at heart." She has a porcine
prosthetic mitral valve placed 2 years ago.
have
【在 L****n 的大作中提到】
: Share some of your humor, medicine related, on the board please. Let's have
: some laugh.
| k********n
发帖数: 756 | 16 several in my neuro-exam:
1. Visual field: some patients always turn the head, I will say" sorry, don'
t move,you have to look at my ugly nose"
2. Strength: can I borrow your hands? I promise I will give them back | h**s
发帖数: 1757 | 17 I will contribute an old Chinese lady story.
This happened several years ago ,when I was 2nd-yr ER-residency in
China.
Winter night, windy, cold .
Around early morning 3-4am. An old lady ,70+ ,came to our ER room with
a
huge hat.
Nurse: What brings you here?
Lady: I had a small wound on my head three days ago.
The nurse called Doc. Dr.X ,one of the most handsome surgeons with a
little
bit temper came.
Lady: Doc, I had a small wound on my head. I was a medical school
student in
协和 before 1949. So I did sth with my wound.
Doc: What did you do?
Lady: I keep taking shower in the past three days.....
Doc:Have you ever taken vaccine?
Lady: No,I didn’t. I am strong enough . I used to be a athlete .
Doc:Okie. The wound looked fine,but because you never had vaccine
before,I
would like suggest you to take tetanus( 破伤风）vaccine.
Lady: Doc,您别以为我没文化。今天虽然刮大风，我是带了帽子出门的!!!! I do not
need破伤风!!!
Doc: …..... | A*******s
发帖数: 9638 | 18 No need for 连蒙带估 this time, it is so obvious, LOL!
【在 L****n 的大作中提到】
:
: coverage.
: see, i was right again. knew you are full of 喜感。
: i am usually pretty good at 连蒙带估， hehe.
| A*******s
发帖数: 9638 | 19 LOL to all the stories.
I really enjoyed and many thanks.
【在 h**s 的大作中提到】
: I will contribute an old Chinese lady story.
: This happened several years ago ,when I was 2nd-yr ER-residency in
: China.
: Winter night, windy, cold .
: Around early morning 3-4am. An old lady ,70+ ,came to our ER room with
: a
: huge hat.
: Nurse: What brings you here?
: Lady: I had a small wound on my head three days ago.
: The nurse called Doc. Dr.X ,one of the most handsome surgeons with a
| h**s
发帖数: 1757 | 20 Hahaha... It is really funny!Right? But,it is not the most dramatic
part at that night.
At the same time,I had a hyperthyroid patient, a 40+ woman. she came
because of heart palpitation. I gave her some Chinese herb and did
observation. She was quite and slept in the ER.
The old lady kept talking the tetanus vaccine almost one hour. This
waked up my patient.
My patient turn to be crazy angry and aggressive. She jumped out from
the bed and yelling at us:Doc,nurse,please go to sleep, I will talk
with this old lady!!!
After she said this, she began to sing Beijing opera....:<)))))!
Whenever I memorized this scenario ,I can not stop laughing. That
maybe a
reason drives me back to clinic.
【在 A*******s 的大作中提到】
: LOL to all the stories.
: I really enjoyed and many thanks.
| | | A*******s
发帖数: 9638 | 21 HaHa...
【在 h**s 的大作中提到】
: Hahaha... It is really funny!Right? But,it is not the most dramatic
: part at that night.
: At the same time,I had a hyperthyroid patient, a 40+ woman. she came
: because of heart palpitation. I gave her some Chinese herb and did
: observation. She was quite and slept in the ER.
: The old lady kept talking the tetanus vaccine almost one hour. This
: waked up my patient.
: My patient turn to be crazy angry and aggressive. She jumped out from
: the bed and yelling at us:Doc,nurse,please go to sleep, I will talk
: with this old lady!!!
| L****n
发帖数: 12932 | 22 只要功夫深， 母牛也能奔。
===================================
德国女孩将母牛训练成赛马 实现拥有坐骑梦(图)
德国南部一女孩将一头小母牛训练成了像马匹一样的坐骑。
这头经过“脱胎换骨”的牛叫露娜，它两年前出生在德国边境的一个农场里。
农场主15岁的女儿丽贾娜一直想拥有一匹马，但她的这一愿望一直未能实现，于是
她动起了露娜的主意，想让露娜帮她实现骑马的梦想。丽贾娜很快把这一想法付诸了行
动，她每天陪着露娜在树林里散步，以此培养感情，并让露娜习惯那些马匹装备。
露娜在一次又一次的美食**下，完成了无数次的训练。如今，它不仅可以像马儿一
样驮着主人走在乡间小道上，而且还可以进行跨栏。丽贾娜日前在接受采访时表示：“
简直让人不敢相信，它还以为自己是匹马呢。”
现在丽贾娜和露娜已经成为了最好的朋友，每天放学后丽贾娜都会和露娜在一起，
而露娜也可以听懂丽贾娜发出的诸如“走”、“站起来”和“快跑”等指令。丽贾娜还
说，露娜有时候很听话，有时候也很固执，训练它绝非易事。 | b****e
发帖数: 227 | 23 有次OB,80岁的老爷爷问我;
How to tell the difference btw a normal person,alcohol abuse and alcoholism?
我不解.他说:give them a Martini with a fly in it.
我疑惑.
A normal person will give it back.
Alcohol abuser will take out the fly,throw it away and drink the Martini.
Alcoholism will take out the fly,SQUEEZE it and drink the Martini.:-) | L****n
发帖数: 12932 | 24 Hehe, good one.
有次OB,80岁的老爷爷问我;How to tell the difference btw a normal person,
alcohol abuse and alcoholi........
★ Sent from iPhone App: iReader Mitbbs 6.81 - iPhone Lite
【在 b****e 的大作中提到】
: 有次OB,80岁的老爷爷问我;
: How to tell the difference btw a normal person,alcohol abuse and alcoholism?
: 我不解.他说:give them a Martini with a fly in it.
: 我疑惑.
: A normal person will give it back.
: Alcohol abuser will take out the fly,throw it away and drink the Martini.
: Alcoholism will take out the fly,SQUEEZE it and drink the Martini.:-)
| s*******1
发帖数: 428 | 25 Thanks for the pic of the jumping cow.
If a COW can jump, then CMGs can fly.
I have a regular one for this weekend:
"The half-asleep takes care of the half-awake operated on by the half-witted
" | s********o
发帖数: 3319 | 26 这个有意思
alcoholism?
【在 b****e 的大作中提到】
: 有次OB,80岁的老爷爷问我;
: How to tell the difference btw a normal person,alcohol abuse and alcoholism?
: 我不解.他说:give them a Martini with a fly in it.
: 我疑惑.
: A normal person will give it back.
: Alcohol abuser will take out the fly,throw it away and drink the Martini.
: Alcoholism will take out the fly,SQUEEZE it and drink the Martini.:-)
|
|
