c******i
发帖数: 4091 | 1 I'm an Asian Woman and I Refuse to Ever Date an Asian Man
It has nothing to do with skin color. It has everything to do with
patriarchy. And guess what? More and more “racist”-against-Asian-men Asian
women are getting on the white boy bandwagon.
Jenny An
Aug 31, 2012 at 1:00pm | Leave a comment
I'm an Asian girl. I don't date Asian guys. Yep, I'm one of those that date
lots and lots of (mostly, but not always) white guys.
Why? It's simple: I'm a racist.
Yep, I said it.
And guess what? I’m not alone. I’m actually –- shudder to think -- part
of a trend. Asians are marrying non-Asians at a rate much higher than any
other racial group. This summer Pew reported that 37 percent of all recent
Asian-American brides wedded a non-Asian groom. In an earlier study of the
couples who married in 2008, 9 percent of whites, 16 percent of blacks and
26 percent of Hispanics did so with someone of a different race or ethnicity
. Thirty-one percent of Asians did.
This trend has nothing to do with skin color. It has everything to do with
patriarchy and cultural sexism and a lifestyle I grew up with and want
nothing to do with anymore.
It would be easy to say that what I'm looking for culturally doesn't come in
an Asian package.
Wesley Yang wrote about it in New York magazine last year and made my heart
beat faster with the recognition of his rage against my cultural heritage
machine. "Let me summarize my feelings toward Asian values: Fuck filial
piety. Fuck grade grubbing. Fuck Ivy League mania. Fuck deference to
authority. Fuck humility and hard work. Fuck harmonious relations. Fuck
sacrificing for the future. Fuck earnest, striving middle-class servility,"
he says.
And. Fuck. Yes. To. This.
My mother (born and raised in China) is obsessed with career "steps" and "
paths" and working for this magical future that I doubt exists. It’s like
New Age self-help for middle-class strivers. She can't fathom that I'm a
freelancer by choice and constantly laments "that economy."
The physical attributes of my ideal man? If we're being stereotypical about
it, well, I like geeky, scrawny and without muscles. I like effeminate. Also
, did I mention that Daniel Liu is fucking HOT?
And if we're talking about this, plenty of white guys have tiny penises. And
I'm sure not all Asian guys have tiny penises. (Though, I'd have to sleep
with some to find out for sure.) So really, not a physical thing.
Clearly, it's not those stereotypes.
Even if a charming, funny, intellectually curious, in so many words perfect
man who has untied himself from the chains of Asian virtues came down my way
-- even you, Daniel Liu whose hotness is practically a law of physics -- I
would probably pass.
Partly, it's because I can date non-Asian dudes. More of me and other "
racist"-against-other-Asian-men Asian women live in communities with people
of other races. More of us attend those bastions of liberal thought mingling
with other young, upwardly mobile types of colleges. More of us are in well
-paying jobs, which expose us to people outside our ethnic enclaves.
But it's also because we still see ourselves as minorities, immigrants,
outsiders. And we want the same thing new residents of America have wanted
for hundreds of years: To be true Americans. Even among American-born people
of Asian descent, only 28 percent describe themselves as "Americans."
I was born in Beijing to Chinese parents and emigrated to the U.S. when I
was three. I don't have an accent. Aside from my very Midwestern one. My
Italian cooking skills are far superior to my Chinese ones. My Spanish is
better than my Chinese. My closet is filled with J. Crew and a healthy dash
of Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren.
My pale, white-bread boyfriend jokes that I'm one of the whitest people he's
ever met. And that's probably not by accident.
I date white men because the term "model minority" grosses me out. I date
white men because it feels like I'm not ostracizing myself into an Asian
ghetto and antiquated ideas of Asian unity. I still see myself as a minority
. And with that, pretty soon comes connotations of "outsider." And I don't
like that.
Dating white men means acceptance into American culture. White culture.
I realize my thinking is fucked up. I get that. But as long as men tell me
over dinner, "I've always wanted to be with an Asian girl" and then still
think they're getting laid, and as long as during beauty countdowns white
girls are called "beauties" and Asian girls are called "exotic beauties" --
well, then white will still be the societal standard.
And yes, I am Asian, but I'm drinking the same Kool-Aid as everyone else.
Junot Diaz describes it as white supremacy. The idea that white is still
tops, SAT scores, corporate jobs and fancy degrees be damned.
In the Boston Review, Diaz says: "And yet here’s the rub: if a critique of
white supremacy doesn’t first flow through you, doesn’t first implicate
you, then you have missed the mark; you have, in fact, almost guaranteed its
survival and reproduction. There’s that old saying: the devil’s greatest
trick is that he convinced people that he doesn’t exist. Well, white
supremacy’s greatest trick is that it has convinced people that, if it
exists at all, it exists always in other people, never in us."
So here it is: I am racist. I'd rather not be. I'd much rather be swept up
into that beautiful land of racially ambiguous beauties. But for now, I will
not and will never date one of my "people."
Posted in It Happened To Me, pew, jenny an, asian men, asian women,
patriarchy | t*******n
发帖数: 2698 | | d**********i
发帖数: 4877 | 3 可发
而且是四川人？
Asian
date
【在 c******i 的大作中提到】
: I'm an Asian Woman and I Refuse to Ever Date an Asian Man
: It has nothing to do with skin color. It has everything to do with
: patriarchy. And guess what? More and more “racist”-against-Asian-men Asian
: women are getting on the white boy bandwagon.
: Jenny An
: Aug 31, 2012 at 1:00pm | Leave a comment
: I'm an Asian girl. I don't date Asian guys. Yep, I'm one of those that date
: lots and lots of (mostly, but not always) white guys.
: Why? It's simple: I'm a racist.
: Yep, I said it.
| K**********i
发帖数: 22099 | | p*****y
发帖数: 1982 | 5 赞
Asian
date
【在 c******i 的大作中提到】
: I'm an Asian Woman and I Refuse to Ever Date an Asian Man
: It has nothing to do with skin color. It has everything to do with
: patriarchy. And guess what? More and more “racist”-against-Asian-men Asian
: women are getting on the white boy bandwagon.
: Jenny An
: Aug 31, 2012 at 1:00pm | Leave a comment
: I'm an Asian girl. I don't date Asian guys. Yep, I'm one of those that date
: lots and lots of (mostly, but not always) white guys.
: Why? It's simple: I'm a racist.
: Yep, I said it.
| c*****g
发帖数: 21627 | 6 烂逼外发哈洋屌！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
Asian
date
【在 c******i 的大作中提到】
: I'm an Asian Woman and I Refuse to Ever Date an Asian Man
: It has nothing to do with skin color. It has everything to do with
: patriarchy. And guess what? More and more “racist”-against-Asian-men Asian
: women are getting on the white boy bandwagon.
: Jenny An
: Aug 31, 2012 at 1:00pm | Leave a comment
: I'm an Asian girl. I don't date Asian guys. Yep, I'm one of those that date
: lots and lots of (mostly, but not always) white guys.
: Why? It's simple: I'm a racist.
: Yep, I said it.
| g***j
发帖数: 40861 | | p*****y
发帖数: 1982 | 8 赞口味重
【在 d**********i 的大作中提到】
: 可发
: 而且是四川人？
:
: Asian
: date
| c******i
发帖数: 4091 | 9 好像自述父母是北京的吧？出生在北京，自豪于没有口音，除了中西部口音，估计是芝
加哥一带玉米地长大的。
【在 d**********i 的大作中提到】
: 可发
: 而且是四川人？
:
: Asian
: date
| d*******o
发帖数: 1317 | 10 讲的挺挺好的。
American Culture, white culture. | | | c******i
发帖数: 4091 | 11 这个女娃主要的逻辑错误就是把所有文化糟粕都归于中国文化，而所有先进文化都归于
白色文化。其实其所举的糟粕例子完全是不分种族国家到处都有的。
只说一点，大陆出来的夫妇俩，各有各姓。这算不算男权至上？这个女娃自己也说自己
的mind fucked up，无法自拔哉。。。 | c*****g
发帖数: 21627 | 12 烂逼外F都是这样子
在烂逼外F的烂脑子里：
洋人什么都好，好的都归洋人；华人什么都烂，烂的都归咎给华人
【在 c******i 的大作中提到】
: 这个女娃主要的逻辑错误就是把所有文化糟粕都归于中国文化，而所有先进文化都归于
: 白色文化。其实其所举的糟粕例子完全是不分种族国家到处都有的。
: 只说一点，大陆出来的夫妇俩，各有各姓。这算不算男权至上？这个女娃自己也说自己
: 的mind fucked up，无法自拔哉。。。
| a**v
发帖数: 357 | | x******g
发帖数: 33885 | 14 外发妈养了个外发女
where is the father? | x******g
发帖数: 33885 | 15 "I realize my thinking is fucked up."
Yes, very much. | d*****s
发帖数: 5610 | 16 最近数据说亚裔外嫁外娶比例下降，因为亚裔人口移民上升，本族内部选择多了。
中西部长大的，或者亚裔人口少的地方长大的，确实容易有这个女人的想法。 | v*******e
发帖数: 11604 | 17 顶上来大家看看，你现在不作为，在鄙视亚裔的环境下，养出来的女儿可能就是这样的
；你养出来的儿子更惨，可能连个date都没有，要找gay WF。这不是危言耸听，我自己
有小孩，虽然现在看起来很好，可是我怕这个可怕的前景。 | m********y
发帖数: 21909 | | v*******e
发帖数: 11604 | | c*******n
发帖数: 2764 | 20 父母管太严出现了逆反心理？ 或者父母本身就是自恨国人？
随她去吧
Asian
date
【在 c******i 的大作中提到】
: I'm an Asian Woman and I Refuse to Ever Date an Asian Man
: It has nothing to do with skin color. It has everything to do with
: patriarchy. And guess what? More and more “racist”-against-Asian-men Asian
: women are getting on the white boy bandwagon.
: Jenny An
: Aug 31, 2012 at 1:00pm | Leave a comment
: I'm an Asian girl. I don't date Asian guys. Yep, I'm one of those that date
: lots and lots of (mostly, but not always) white guys.
: Why? It's simple: I'm a racist.
: Yep, I said it.
| M****7
发帖数: 2334 | 21 这辆难看的yellow cab 是２０多年来以自卑自恨自辱为主要卖点的大陆主流媒体下的
一个蛋。这样的蛋有很多。
有意思的是那些娶了华女且有正当职业的白人有不少人很喜欢中国文化。那些领养了中
国小孩的白人家庭大多给这些小孩请中文家教过中国节日。
这是个莫大的讽刺。
【在 c******i 的大作中提到】
: 这个女娃主要的逻辑错误就是把所有文化糟粕都归于中国文化，而所有先进文化都归于
: 白色文化。其实其所举的糟粕例子完全是不分种族国家到处都有的。
: 只说一点，大陆出来的夫妇俩，各有各姓。这算不算男权至上？这个女娃自己也说自己
: 的mind fucked up，无法自拔哉。。。
|
|
