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Parenting版 - 作文点评
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相关话题的讨论汇总
话题: nature话题: kira话题: world话题: giver话题: roof
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1 (共1页)
m****m
发帖数: 101
1
儿子6年级,不知道他的写作水平在同龄孩子中怎样。比如作文的长度,用词。能帮看
看吗?下面是最近language art布置的两篇作文。第一个是读一本小说然后给author写
信。第二个是读两本小说,然后比较。
========================
Dear Cynthia Kadahata,
I have strong, massive feelings for your first book, Kira-Kira. I hand
down my feelings to your greatly-written literature, and to you, because
your story is a blend of joy and pain. Kira-Kira may teach young readers to
see life in a different perspective, to see how lucky we are today. I’m
happy because we are not living in times of pain and horror. I was in shock
to see how poorly Japanese-Americans were treated during World War II, after
the attack of Pearl Harbor.
It showed me how tough the world really is in front of my eyes. There
are poor, the homeless, and the hungry people in the world, and me, lucky me
, living in a high-class life with a healthy, tremendous amount of education
. I am lucky to live in this time, in this country, sitting here with a
pencil and paper writing this letter to you, expressing my true feelings to
this unforgettable book.
I realized how lucky I am, living in this country at this time. My
culture is Chinese, and I am proud and happy with my race and nationality.
Japanese-American people who lived at the time of Kira-Kira would be locked
up in Concentration camps. If I were to live in the time of Kira-Kira, I
would also end up in the Concentration Camps being tortured. Fortunately, I
am lucky living in this heaven.
It suprised me how the Japanese-Americans hadn't had many rights as the
white people did, because of the huge amount of predjudice, and the bombing
of Pearl Harbor. The story means a lot to me, because I'm Chinese, and to
see how painful it was to live in the times of pain, horror, and torture. I
saw the vision of true life while reading Kira-Kira, the unforgettable book.
This book takes my feelings away.
====================================================================

Comparing The Giver and Beautiful Roof

“The Giver” and “Beautiful Roof in the World” both talk about nature.
The characters in the two stories both interact with nature, though they
have different ways to tell how the characters first saw the nature. The two
characters in the two stories both love nature. There are some similarities
, and differences on how the two stories talk about nature.
The Giver talks about nature in a special way. Jonas, the main character
, has never seen wild nature in his whole life, but wants to see it. He is
kept away from nature because of the perfect world he is in. Further in the
story, Jonas encounters nature, and is surprised to see all of the new
things he has never seen before.
In “Beautiful Roof in the World”, the woman works in nature, and has
seen it from the beginning of her life. Her job is to stay in nature, and
study different types of plants, and animals. She gets to climb to different
levels of the jungle, and explores different places.
In the Giver, the boy is kept from nature, because of the Perfect world,
while the Woman works in nature. How the Giver talks about nature is very
different than how “Beautiful Roof in the World” talks about nature. They
also have similarities. It is similar, because the two main characters in
the story both love nature, and is fascinated by it. In the end, they both
experience nature, but each person has a different story on how they
experienced nature.

My conclusion is is that the two stories do talk about nature. They share
some things, and they differ, too. In “The Giver” Jonas is kept away from
nature. That is different from “Beautiful Roof in the World” because The
Woman in “Beautiful Roof in the World” Has enjoyed nature throughout her
life. They also share some things, too. The characters in the two stories
both are attracted to nature. They are desperate to learn more about nature,
especially Jonas in “The Giver”. The two stories truly talk about nature,
but in a different way.
r**f
发帖数: 444
2
看了第二篇。太多的nature了。用词不够丰富。
个人觉得有点儿车轱辘话来回说的意思。观点不是很鲜明。
我娃还小,我是用大人标准看的,不知道6年纪的水平到底应该怎么样。

to
shock

【在 m****m 的大作中提到】
: 儿子6年级,不知道他的写作水平在同龄孩子中怎样。比如作文的长度,用词。能帮看
: 看吗?下面是最近language art布置的两篇作文。第一个是读一本小说然后给author写
: 信。第二个是读两本小说,然后比较。
: ========================
: Dear Cynthia Kadahata,
: I have strong, massive feelings for your first book, Kira-Kira. I hand
: down my feelings to your greatly-written literature, and to you, because
: your story is a blend of joy and pain. Kira-Kira may teach young readers to
: see life in a different perspective, to see how lucky we are today. I’m
: happy because we are not living in times of pain and horror. I was in shock

s****7
发帖数: 1873
3
我觉得就是词汇不够丰富点,语言比较直白。但我不知道6年级的应该水平是怎样。
m****m
发帖数: 101
4
我也有这种感觉,觉得他没多少东西好写,然后一点东西就可以写翻来复去写一长篇。
你们6年纪的写啥样啊?美国有象中国的范文之类的东西吗?

【在 r**f 的大作中提到】
: 看了第二篇。太多的nature了。用词不够丰富。
: 个人觉得有点儿车轱辘话来回说的意思。观点不是很鲜明。
: 我娃还小,我是用大人标准看的,不知道6年纪的水平到底应该怎么样。
:
: to
: shock

r**f
发帖数: 444
5
我看着也感觉好像在凑字数。老师有这个字数要求么?
我娃还没有6年纪,学校里头还没有这种命题作文。

【在 m****m 的大作中提到】
: 我也有这种感觉,觉得他没多少东西好写,然后一点东西就可以写翻来复去写一长篇。
: 你们6年纪的写啥样啊?美国有象中国的范文之类的东西吗?

m****m
发帖数: 101
6
没有具体字数要求,但有时会说至少3或几个paragraph之类的。
这里孩子写的好的能不能介绍一下经验或BSO奔一个?

【在 r**f 的大作中提到】
: 我看着也感觉好像在凑字数。老师有这个字数要求么?
: 我娃还没有6年纪,学校里头还没有这种命题作文。

r**f
发帖数: 444
7
等bso。

【在 m****m 的大作中提到】
: 没有具体字数要求,但有时会说至少3或几个paragraph之类的。
: 这里孩子写的好的能不能介绍一下经验或BSO奔一个?

1 (共1页)
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我来给大家河蟹一下? :)寻Camping 伴, 德州Plano 出发到 Cooper Lake (转载)
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请问3岁孩子现在参加的活动或短期summer camp有什么?请教学校12月放两个星期假, 学龄小孩怎么办?
相关话题的讨论汇总
话题: nature话题: kira话题: world话题: giver话题: roof