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h*****a
发帖数: 22 | 1 http://www.fathersrightsinc.com/wmlifc.htm#sthash.dW3rz1nF.CEss
The subject of this article is "Why Do Men Lose In Family Court?" I have
spent the last 23 years attempting to answer this question. After
considerable research, case evaluations and client interviews I believe I
now have the answer.
I had also surrendered a number of other rights simply because I was
ignorant and wasn't aware of the significance of these rights. Mainly rights
to my children. I had mistakenly believed that women always get custody of
children and Dads always get the standard every other weekend visitation
schedule. In fact I was so ignorant I actually thought this was the law!
Little did I realize that even after I had given everything I had, I would
still have to give more.
About 2 years later I acquired a new love interest and our "friendly divorce
" turned into a legal nightmare! She went to an attorney and was advised to
take me back to court to increase child support, decrease visitation,
contempt of court and a host of other issues. Not knowing any better I went
to an attorney, paid a $3500.00 retainer fee and went to court. It was my
belief that we had fairly resolved all of our legal issues in the beginning
and I really didn't understand why she wanted more or how she could get more.
After 3 court hearings and an additional $3000.00 in attorney fees (total $6
,500.00) later I had gotten my butt kicked! My attorney did absolutely
nothing! He was worthless but certainly richer. On the way home from the
courthouse I realized how unfair the family law system of justice was for
men and began a search for answers. Further, I realized that just having an
attorney does not mean there will be a successful resolution. A few days
later I saw a newspaper advertisement for a Fathers Rights support group
near my home. It sounded interesting so I decided to attend one of their
meetings.
The speaker continued by explaining why men lose in family court. "Yes there
is bias, prejudice and discrimination in family court towards men. Yes the
family court system is broken and needs reform. However, despite these
problems most of you have failed because you didn't take the time to learn
how the system works." As he spoke he gave numerous examples of mistakes
that men make. (These Mistakes are discussed in the Fathers Rights Survival
Guide.) "Men lose in family court because they simply don't do their
homework and women do!"
Most men, myself included, believe they are capable of resolving just about
any problem. Most have run businesses, negotiated purchases of homes and/or
cars and have been successful resolving other large problems at work and
home. Consistent with their success in other areas of their life, when their
long-term relationship's end they believe they can "cut a deal" or somehow
avoid a problematic legal case without making legally filed agreements. Call
it male machismo or pride but in reality it's called arrogance! Failing to
learn how the family law system works will doom your case. Like one leading
motivational speaker has stated: "Failing to plan is planning to fail!"
There is no substitute for correct information and knowledge.
As I drove home from the meeting I was filled with mixed emotions about what
the speaker had said. On one hand I was encouraged that I could take
control of my case, learn how the system works and resolve my ongoing legal
problems. On the other hand I was very discouraged when I realized I had
caused my own legal problems. I had lost in court because I had failed to
learn the "rules of the game." Like millions of other men I thought I could
strike an easy out of court settlement and go on with my life. How wrong I
was! This was a very hard lesson for me! I was a college graduate. I was
fairly intelligent and should have known better. My Ex-wife wasn't to blame,
I was! I did this too myself! My failure was her victory!
My children are grown now and my personal family law struggles are over. I
learned the hard way that what you do now will determine the quality of the
relationship you will have with your children in the future. People forget
that children are only in the custody of either parent for a relatively
short time. After they reach the age of majority is when the real
relationship begins! I was fortunate in that I discovered my failure in time
. I was able to reverse a never-ending trend of court hearing after court
hearing with no end in sight. It all changed that one evening after the
meeting when I decided to commit to making needed changes in my attitude and
approach to my case. I had learned a valuable lesson. Know the rules before
you play the game! Once I discovered the rules of the game it all changed.
Now let me ask you! Why have you come to this site? Are you looking for
answers to your family law problems? Are you the Parent, Grandparent,
girlfriend, sister or new wife of a man having problems in family court? Are
you confused? Lost? Frustrated? Angry? Let me give you the same advice I
was given years ago. Your case (or the case of the person for whom you are
concerned) will never be resolved until you (they) take the time to learn
how the family law system works. Unless you are Bill Gates and have
thousands and thousands of dollars to spend on attorney's fees you need to
learn how Family Law works. You can be sure your Ex has! In fact, if you don
't take the time to learn how the family law system works no attorney or
other legal professional can ever help you! Now I'm not suggesting that you
need to take paralegal classes or go to law school as I have done. But you
must commit to learning the simple steps you can take now to resolve your
present legal issues and avoid additional issues in the future. |
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