k********k
发帖数: 5617 | 1 普林斯顿校友怎样教导女生别当剩女
今年３月，普林斯顿日报登出了一篇颇有争议的校友来信。忠告女生别当剩女。英文原
文写得很有藤校之风。试着仿照作者自我优越的口吻翻译一下。
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
知心话说给普林斯顿女生，我从未有过的女儿
普林斯顿日报，３月２９日
鱼和熊掌能不能兼得？别提了！对事业是该全心投入还是徐徐淡出？劝你先歇着吧！你
真需要听的大实话没人会告诉你。
有多少年（其实是多少个年代）以来，职业忠告象是狂轰滥炸。怎么拱穿那个玻璃天花
板啦，怎样平衡家庭与事业啦。对我们都不是问题－我们是普林斯顿女生。如果有任何
人能攻克职场上的难关，那就是我们这些才华横溢武功高强饱读诗书的姐儿们。
几个星期前，我有幸出席校园举办的女性与领袖才能讨论会。会场的重头戏是校长谢丽
－提尔格曼与威尔森学院教授安玛丽－斯劳特的对谈。作为过来人，我则参与了会后讨
论，让在校女生跟我们无拘无束地交流。一同出席的是我从１９７３年上大一就交上的
挚友。
姑娘们了无兴致地听我们谈职业成就以及职业网络的重要性。接着，交谈的腔调和兴趣
开始有所转机，姑娘们开始询问肯戴尔跟我怎么能维系友情４０年，你们从不忌妒吗？
你们的友谊价值几何？你们的丈夫孩子何在？显然，姑娘们根本不需要职业忠告。她们
想听到的是那些没人要说的其它问题，终生的友情为其一，嫁给正确的男人则为其二。
当我在七十年代中入学的时候，我们一届２００个女中豪杰所谈论的是怎样驰骋普林斯
顿的刚阳疆场，预演事业的成功。而我呢，从来不在乎表达不入流观点，当我说我要的
是相夫教子，人人都觉得我是个怪物。
对大多数女生来说，你的未来和幸福的最重要的组成部份无可解脱地纠葛于跟你结婚的
男人，而且你再也不会有这么多值得你嫁的男人云集在你身边。
这就是谁也不会告诉你的悄悄话：你必须在毕业前找到你未来的丈夫。没错，象我一样。
我是两个儿子的母亲。他们都是普林斯顿学人。我的长子凭借好眼光和好运气把他同学
娶回家。但他可以娶任何姑娘。我次子现在是大三，他可以娶的姑娘是无限的。
男人通常娶那些比他们年轻，比他们笨，学历比他们低的女人。男人对女人的缺乏才智
能有惊人宽容，只要那些女人出奇的漂亮。才女们不能也不该嫁给智商不及的男士。作
为普林斯顿女生，我们几乎已经把自己标价高出了市场。说白了吧，能跟我们的才智比
肩或者超出的男人已经是凤毛麟角。让我跟你们再说一遍：你再也不会有这么多值得嫁
的男人在你的周围。
当然啦，你毕业后还会碰上教养相等的男人，但绝不会有这么多。没错，你可以选择虽
无才智但有其它优秀品质的男人。可是，跟一个没你聪明的男人生活你最终会无比沮丧。
这里还一个大实话谁也不会说出来。作为一个大一的女生，有四个年级的男生供你选择
。每过去一年，一届大四的男生就走掉了，同时你又比新来的大一女生老了一岁。等你
到了大四，你基本上只有同级的男生可以挑选。同时呢，这些大四男生有四届女生供他
们选择。所以呀，你大概从大一开始就该对那些傻小子们稍稍客气些。
可惜我从没有过女儿。要是有，这就是我会告速她的悄悄话。
苏姗－巴顿
１９７７届主席，纽约 | k********k
发帖数: 5617 | 2 OPINION | LETTER TO THE EDITOR | MARCH 29
Letter to the Editor:
Advice for the young women of Princeton:
the daughters I never had
By SUSAN PATTON
GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
Published: Friday, March 29th, 2013
Forget about having it all, or not having it all, leaning in or leaning out
— here’s what you really need to know that nobody is telling you.
For years (decades, really) we have been bombarded with advice on
professional advancement, breaking through that glass ceiling and achieving
work-life balance. We can figure that out — we are Princeton women. If
anyone can overcome professional obstacles, it will be our brilliant,
resourceful, very well-educated selves.
A few weeks ago, I attended the Women and Leadership conference on campus
that featured a conversation between President Shirley Tilghman and Wilson
School professor Anne-Marie Slaughter, and I participated in the breakout
session afterward that allowed current undergraduate women to speak
informally with older and presumably wiser alumnae. I attended the event
with my best friend since our freshman year in 1973. You girls glazed over
at preliminary comments about our professional accomplishments and the
importance of networking. Then the conversation shifted in tone and interest
level when one of you asked how have Kendall and I sustained a friendship
for 40 years. You asked if we were ever jealous of each other. You asked
about the value of our friendship, about our husbands and children. Clearly,
you don’t want any more career advice. At your core, you know that there
are other things that you need that nobody is addressing. A lifelong friend
is one of them. Finding the right man to marry is another.
When I was an undergraduate in the mid-seventies, the 200 pioneer women in
my class would talk about navigating the virile plains of Princeton as a
precursor to professional success. Never being one to shy away from
expressing an unpopular opinion, I said that I wanted to get married and
have children. It was seen as heresy.
For most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be
inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this
concentration of men who are worthy of you.
Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you
graduate. Yes, I went there.
I am the mother of two sons who are both Princetonians. My older son had the
good judgment and great fortune to marry a classmate of his, but he could
have married anyone. My younger son is a junior and the universe of women he
can marry is limitless. Men regularly marry women who are younger, less
intelligent, less educated. It’s amazing how forgiving men can be about a
woman’s lack of erudition, if she is exceptionally pretty. Smart women can
’t (shouldn’t) marry men who aren’t at least their intellectual equal. As
Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply
put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter
than we are. And I say again — you will never again be surrounded by this
concentration of men who are worthy of you.
Of course, once you graduate, you will meet men who are your intellectual
equal — just not that many of them. And, you could choose to marry a man
who has other things to recommend him besides a soaring intellect. But
ultimately, it will frustrate you to be with a man who just isn’t as smart
as you.
Here is another truth that you know, but nobody is talking about. As
freshman women, you have four classes of men to choose from. Every year, you
lose the men in the senior class, and you become older than the class of
incoming freshman men. So, by the time you are a senior, you basically have
only the men in your own class to choose from, and frankly, they now have
four classes of women to choose from. Maybe you should have been a little
nicer to these guys when you were freshmen?
If I had daughters, this is what I would be telling them.
Susan A. Patton ’77
President of the Class of 1977New York, N.Y. | k********k
发帖数: 5617 | 3 OPINION | LETTER TO THE EDITOR | MARCH 29
普林斯顿校友怎样教导女生别当剩女
今年３月，普林斯顿日报登出了一篇颇有争议的校友来信。忠告女生别当剩女。英文原
文写得很有藤校之风。试着仿照作者自我优越的口吻翻译一下。
Letter to the Editor:
Advice for the young women of Princeton:
the daughters I never had
知心话说给普林斯顿女生，我从未有过的女儿
By SUSAN PATTON
GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
Published: Friday, March 29th, 2013
普林斯顿日报，３月２９日
Forget about having it all, or not having it all, leaning in or leaning out
— here’s what you really need to know that nobody is telling you.
鱼和熊掌能不能兼得？别提了！对事业是该全心投入还是徐徐淡出？劝你先歇着吧！你
真需要听的大实话没人会告诉你。
For years (decades, really) we have been bombarded with advice on
professional advancement, breaking through that glass ceiling and achieving
work-life balance. We can figure that out — we are Princeton women. If
anyone can overcome professional obstacles, it will be our brilliant,
resourceful, very well-educated selves.
有多少年（其实是多少个年代）以来，职业忠告象是狂轰滥炸。怎么拱穿那个玻璃天花
板啦，怎样平衡家庭与事业啦。对我们都不是问题－我们是普林斯顿女生。如果有任何
人能攻克职场上的难关，那就是我们这些才华横溢武功高强饱读诗书的姐儿们。
A few weeks ago, I attended the Women and Leadership conference on campus
that featured a conversation between President Shirley Tilghman and Wilson
School professor Anne-Marie Slaughter, and I participated in the breakout
session afterward that allowed current undergraduate women to speak
informally with older and presumably wiser alumnae. I attended the event
with my best friend since our freshman year in 1973. You girls glazed over
at preliminary comments about our professional accomplishments and the
importance of networking.
几个星期前，我有幸出席校园举办的女性与领袖才能讨论会。会场的重头戏是校长谢丽
－提尔格曼与威尔森学院教授安玛丽－斯劳特的对谈。作为过来人，我则参与了会后讨
论，让在校女生跟我们无拘无束地交流。一同出席的是我从１９７３年上大一就交上的
挚友。姑娘们了无兴致地听我们谈职业成就以及职业网络的重要性。
Then the conversation shifted in tone and interest level when one of you
asked how have Kendall and I sustained a friendship for 40 years. You asked
if we were ever jealous of each other. You asked about the value of our
friendship, about our husbands and children. Clearly, you don’t want any
more career advice. At your core, you know that there are other things that
you need that nobody is addressing. A lifelong friend is one of them.
Finding the right man to marry is another.
接着，交谈的腔调和兴趣开始有所转机，姑娘们开始询问肯戴尔跟我怎么能维系友情４
０年，你们从不忌妒吗？你们的友谊价值几何？你们的丈夫孩子何在？显然，姑娘们根
本不需要职业忠告。她们想听到的是那些没人要说的其它问题，终生的友情为其一，嫁
给正确的男人则为其二。
When I was an undergraduate in the mid-seventies, the 200 pioneer women in
my class would talk about navigating the virile plains of Princeton as a
precursor to professional success. Never being one to shy away from
expressing an unpopular opinion, I said that I wanted to get married and
have children. It was seen as heresy.
当我在七十年代中入学的时候，我们一届２００个女中豪杰所谈论的是怎样驰骋普林斯
顿的刚阳疆场，预演事业的成功。而我呢，从来不在乎表达不入流观点，当我说我要的
是相夫教子，人人都觉得我是个怪物。
For most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be
inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this
concentration of men who are worthy of you.
对大多数女生来说，你的未来和幸福的最重要的组成部份无可解脱地纠葛于跟你结婚的
男人，而且你再也不会有这么多值得你嫁的男人云集在你身边。
Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you
graduate. Yes, I went there.
这就是谁也不会告诉你的悄悄话：你必须在毕业前找到你未来的丈夫。没错，象我一样。
I am the mother of two sons who are both Princetonians. My older son had the
good judgment and great fortune to marry a classmate of his, but he could
have married anyone. My younger son is a junior and the universe of women he
can marry is limitless.
我是两个儿子的母亲。他们都是普林斯顿学人。我的长子凭借好眼光和好运气把他同学
娶回家。但他可以娶任何姑娘。我次子现在是大三，他可以娶的姑娘是无限的。
Men regularly marry women who are younger, less intelligent, less educated.
It’s amazing how forgiving men can be about a woman’s lack of erudition,
if she is exceptionally pretty. Smart women can’t (shouldn’t) marry men
who aren’t at least their intellectual equal. As Princeton women, we have
almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very
limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are. And I say
again — you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men
who are worthy of you.
男人通常娶那些比他们年轻，比他们笨，学历比他们低的女人。男人对女人的缺乏才智
能有惊人宽容，只要那些女人出奇的漂亮。才女们不能也不该嫁给智商不及的男士。作
为普林斯顿女生，我们几乎已经把自己标价高出了市场。说白了吧，能跟我们的才智比
肩或者超出的男人已经是凤毛麟角。让我跟你们再说一遍：你再也不会有这么多值得嫁
的男人在你的周围。
Of course, once you graduate, you will meet men who are your intellectual
equal — just not that many of them. And, you could choose to marry a man
who has other things to recommend him besides a soaring intellect. But
ultimately, it will frustrate you to be with a man who just isn’t as smart
as you.
当然啦，你毕业后还会碰上教养相等的男人，但绝不会有这么多。没错，你可以选择虽
无才智但有其它优秀品质的男人。可是，跟一个没你聪明的男人生活你最终会无比沮丧。
Here is another truth that you know, but nobody is talking about. As
freshman women, you have four classes of men to choose from. Every year, you
lose the men in the senior class, and you become older than the class of
incoming freshman men. So, by the time you are a senior, you basically have
only the men in your own class to choose from, and frankly, they now have
four classes of women to choose from. Maybe you should have been a little
nicer to these guys when you were freshmen?
这里还一个大实话谁也不会说出来。作为一个大一的女生，有四个年级的男生供你选择
。每过去一年，一届大四的男生就走掉了，同时你又比新来的大一女生老了一岁。等你
到了大四，你基本上只有同级的男生可以挑选。同时呢，这些大四男生有四届女生供他
们选择。所以呀，你大概从大一开始就该对那些傻小子们稍稍客气些。
If I had daughters, this is what I would be telling them.
可惜我从没有过女儿。要是有，这就是我会告速她的悄悄话。
Susan A. Patton ’77
President of the Class of 1977, New York, N.Y.
苏姗 巴顿
１９７７届主席，纽约 | j******f
发帖数: 825 | 4 let's just say she is a silly woman | I********2
发帖数: 244 | 5 one of my brother's daughters is in Princeton. Her mother fully agree the
letter. And my brother's daughter find a bf right away on this April as
long as I know :-) |
|
