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Piebridge版 - 80-20规律:给琐男科普下自由婚恋市场的那些事 (转载)
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Dating with women (zt)这里的人有心理准备做父母吗?还是只看重子女不大看重companio
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话题: men话题: women话题: top话题: who话题: many
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m********8
发帖数: 7463
1
【 以下文字转载自 Military 讨论区 】
发信人: umutata (土著人), 信区: Military
标 题: 80-20规律:给琐男科普下自由婚恋市场的那些事
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Feb 12 15:58:42 2015, 美东)
文章比较长,我给个尽量简短易懂的摘要。我只陈述客观现象,不作道德评判。
如果有1000个男的,1000的女的,放到一个孤岛上。理论上,他们很快会结成1000对伴
侣,但实际上比这复杂多了。
这1000个女的当中,有800个会去围着男的当中200个条件最好的转。这200个男的平均
每人有四个女的,于是就变得花心,在多个女的中间周旋,保持好几个炮友。而其他
800个男的就很难操上逼,心理容易出问题,有的会攻击那些Top 20%的男的,成为杀人
犯;有的会攻击那些80%的女的,成为强奸犯。
而女的当中,那80%的女的会逐渐厌倦跟众多其他女人的竞争,离开top 20%的男的,去
找80%的男的接盘。甚至还有女的跟top 20%男的生了孩子之后找人接盘,接盘男还要养
别人的孩子。
最后加上我的评论:
第一,所谓的“自由”婚恋市场,实际上得到自由的只是少部分男人,多数男人是被剥
夺了自由。“自由”得越彻底,多数人的自由就被剥夺得更厉害。没有了道德约束的绝
对性自由的后果,就是人类社会退化成猴群:一个雄性猴王占有所有雌性,其他公猴断
子绝孙。
第二,所谓“高富帅,屌丝,接盘”这些事,是现代“自由”婚恋的必然结果,在任何
族群任何文化下都一样。有些人似乎以为这些事是华人社区独有的,甚至听到别人讨论
就给人扣上“猥琐男买买提上多了”的帽子,是不对的。他们即使拿胶布封上“猥琐男
”的嘴,也改变不了他们当中女的被“高富帅”操完甩掉,男的撸管接烂盘的社会现实。
第三,那些说什么白男心胸宽广不在乎接盘的外F女可以歇了。社会大规律在那摆着,
所有男人的心理其实都一样,顶多不同文化背景下表现方式有所不同而已,扯不到心胸
宽不宽广的高度。
第四,如果你是撸管琐男,厌恶接盘,仇恨所谓的“高富帅”,那恭喜你,说明你还是
个正常人,正常男人。反倒如果你不这样才有问题,说明你雄性激素分泌不足,不是男
人。
The '80-20 Rule' theory explains a lot of today's problems among dating
singles
Have you ever visited a popular nightclub in a major city, and you noticed
that one guy may have three, four, or five women hanging around him while
another three or four guys in that same club have no women paying them any
attention at all? How could this happen?
Let's say a professional matchmaking organization got one thousand single
heterosexual women together and transported them to an island where all of
their living expenses would be covered, and they would never be in desperate
need for anything crucial to their survival, such as food, beverages,
clothing, and comfortable living quarters. All of these women have
acknowledged that they want to find a long-term boyfriend to spend time with
romantically and sexually.
Now, this same professional matchmaking organization has identified one
thousand healthy single heterosexual men and transported them to this same
island. All of these men have expressed an interest in finding an ideal
woman to spend time with romantically and sexually.
Conventional wisdom says . . . . within a matter of days, weeks, or months,
the men and women on that island will transition from 2,000 individual men
and women into 1,000 happy, loving couples.
The mythical '80-20 Rule' Theory of Dating and Relationships says . . . .
within a matter of days, weeks, or months, approximately 800 of the 1,000
women are going to be competing with each other for the attention and
companionship of roughly 200 of the 1,000 men on that island.
Many would argue that the 'conventional wisdom' scenario would be more
probable and valid while a good number of other men and women would lean
toward acknowledging the validity of the controversial 80-20 Rule Theory.
For those who favor the 'conventional wisdom' scenario, let me ask you just
a few questions:
Why do men who seem to have a great wife or girlfriend cheat on her?
Why do women who seem to have a great husband or boyfriend cheat on him?
Why do so many men become harsh critics of other men who they perceive
as more popular with women than themselves?
Why is it that some men can have sex with multiple women without
spending money on them or promising them indefinite monogamy, while other
men have a hard time getting women to spend time with them in a romantic or
sexual manner even when they are flattering, financially generous, and
totally willing to engage in a monogamous relationship with a woman?
Why do some men start out seeming like "polite nice guys," but months
later or years later, many of these same men become hateful misogynists?
What effects would the '80-20 Rule' Theory cause that would result in us
observing many of the problems we see in today’s dating scene among healthy
, active singles?
Effect #1:
The 'Top 20%' of the men on that island would feel very happy, relaxed, and
content. Why? Because these men would consistently have an average of four
different women offering them an invitation to have sex on a regular basis.
Problem #1 caused by Effect #1:
At least a small percentage of the women … particularly those with selfish,
spoiled egos … are not going to just freely allow those men from the Top
20% to indefinitely have their "pick of the litter." Many of those eight-
hundred women are going to express an ultimatum to the Top 200 men and force
them to choose THEM as their “main woman” (i.e., wife, monogamous sex
partner, long-term girlfriend, etc.).
Problem #2 caused by Effect #1:
As a result of Problem #1, many of the men in the Top 20% are going to
become liars and cheaters. They will indefinitely present themselves as "
monogamy-minded gentlemen," but in reality, they just have too many
opportunities to have sex with other women being thrown their way.
Consequently, they end up choosing one “main woman” and then they relegate
the remaining three women as “mistresses,” “jump offs,” or “on-the-
side women.”
How Effect #1 reveals itself in real life: We all either know, or have heard
about, at least one man who is married, engaged, or involved in what is
supposed to be a long-term monogamous romantic relationship with a woman who
has at least one mistress and at least two other “side pieces.” So, you
could never argue that Effect #1 of the '80-20 Rule' Theory is strictly "
hypothetical."
Effect #2:
Many of the men in the remaining 'Bottom 80%' are going to become agitated
and frustrated as time passes by. This will cause them to either a) become
more competitive and ambitious so that they too can be perceived as being in
that ‘Top 20%’ category, or b) become jealous, envious ‘haters’ of the
men who are currently in the Top 20%, and they will think of some mean-
spirited methods of undermining their romantic and sexual appeal to women.
Problem #1 caused by Effect #2:
Many of the men in the Top 20% category are going to generally get along
with each other. Many of the men in the Bottom 80% are also going to get
along fairly well with one another. But a man who perceives himself in the
Bottom 80% is always going to be ultra-competitive with a man who he
perceives as being in that Top 20%. This will create many “phony
friendships” and incidents of back-stabbing between so-called “friends.”
Problem #2 caused by Effect #2:
Some men will go beyond the idea of simply making attempts to improve their
looks, their level of education, their level of career success, or their
level of wealth. Some men on that island from the Bottom 80% will soon
become so bitter and resentful to the point where they will look to cause
physical harm to the men in the Top 20%. If not physical harm, they will
look for ways to emasculate and humiliate their manhood in some sort of
public manner.
How Effect #2 reveals itself in real life: How many times have you observed
a man who was not that popular with women ‘hating’ on a guy who was real
popular with women? This does not happen by chance or by accident. I have
witnessed men start fights with other men for no valid reason other than the
fact that they were jealous and envious of that man's popularity with women
. This is why many male celebrities (who are popular with women) tend to
only go out in public with some sort of security personnel.
Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, intimated in his book that the
single most significant factor that will motivate a (heterosexual) man to
improve himself and his quality of life is the desire to improve the quality
of women and/or increase the quantity of women he is able to date and have
sex with.
Effect #3:
A number of the women on the island who have grown tired of being relegated
to the status of 'mistress' or 'side piece' by one or more members of the
Top 20% are going to end up doing one of two things: 1) stop pursuing a
monogamous relationship with the men in ‘The Top 20%’ and start “settling
” for the men in the Bottom 80% primarily so they can have children and
someone to provide for them, or 2) stop dating any of the men on the island,
and become content with being by themselves indefinitely (or turn to other
women for romantic and sexual companionship, hence becoming bisexual).
Problem #1 caused by Effect #3:
If scenario #1 happens, many of the women who were formerly the mistresses
and jump offs to the men in the Top 20% are going to become the new
girlfriends and future wives to the men in the bottom 80%. This is where a
saying of mine comes into play: “One man’s kinky fu** buddy is another man
’s wife or girlfriend” (many of my coaching clients and radio show
listeners have quoted me on that dozens of times).
Many of these women will find themselves in a “marriage of convenience”
that really does not truly make them happy. These women will immediately
seek to take control of the relationship, and will expect their male
companion to play up to them and feel “overjoyed” that they were even
selected to have the opportunity to have occasional sex with them that the
men have to practically beg for. Many women will have one or more children
by a man in the Top 20%, and select a man from the Bottom 80% to help her
raise the child(ren).
Problem #2 caused by Effect #3:
If scenario #2 happens, a lot of the men on that island are going to become
incredibly sexually frustrated. Some of those sexually frustrated men will
turn to internet porn, while others will turn to violence provoked by their
long-standing sexual frustration. An extreme few might become so frustrated
and angry that they will start raping or serial killing the women who
blatantly ignored them or harshly rejected them.
How Effect #3 reveals itself in real life: How many men have you met who
literally hate women with a passion? (what is commonly known as a misogynist
). Do you think those men are in the Top 20%? Of course not. If a man’s
only dependable sex partner is his right or left hand coated with Vaseline,
at some point he is going to snap. This is why you have men in society who
have a history of raping women or killing women.
How many times have you known a woman who previously only dated handsome,
popular, charming womanizer types when she was between the ages of 18 and 29
or 21 and 34, but then when she turned 35 or 36, she announced emphatically
that she now wanted an "attentive, considerate, respectful nice guy?"
Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. What she is really saying is, "I dated my share of guys
from the Top 20%, but now that I am getting older and I want to settle down
and have some babies, I am going to 'settle' for a man from that Bottom 80%."
And how many of those types of women do you know who treat their boyfriends
and husbands like total crap? How many men do you know who are currently
married to a woman and raising one or more children that are not even their
own? I rest my case.
Effect #4:
Some of the men on that island from that privileged 'Top 20%' group are
going to find a way to be entrepreneurial, and at the same time, help their
fellow men from the Bottom 80% out. How? They will allow the women who are
currently their mistresses and side pieces to have one night stands with men
from the low end of the totem pole for a flat monetary fee. Welcome to the
wonderful world of Pimpology 101.
Problem #1 caused by Effect #4:
Many of the women who would gladly have sex with a man in the Top 20% are
now exchanging their sexual companionship for financial favors and material
gifts from the men in the Bottom 80%. The men enjoy the sex, but after a
while, they come to resent the fact that they have to pay money for it. They
gain a measure of ‘egotistical revenge’ by labeling such women as “
whores.” Similarly, the men from the Bottom 80% who find out that their
wives and girlfriends are having sex behind-their-back with men from the Top
20% are labeled “sluts.” Many of the women accept these labels with
indifference while other women become sensitive to such labels and label
their critics "misogynists" and "jerks."
Problem #2 caused by Effect #4:
Remember those men from the Bottom 80% who I mentioned had to practically
beg their wives and girlfriends for sex? Some of these men will start having
regular, semi-regular, or occasional interactions with the “women of the
night” (i.e., the women who are being pimped out by the men from the Top 20
%). If they are caught by their wives and girlfriends, this is going to
cause major problems and arguments with their significant others, and those
women who were treated as "leftovers" by the Top 20% are going to break up
or divorce their cheating partners from the Bottom 80%.
How Effect #4 reveals itself in real life: Street pimps were very popular in
the mid-to-late 1960s, the 1970s, and 1980s. There are still a few pimps
who are active in today’s society, but many women - because of feminism and
a new sense of empowerment - tend to act more as “free agents” and
present themselves as upscale Call Girls or Erotic Escorts, and they have
virtually eliminated the need for a pimp's guidance and protection. These
women realize that the vast majority of the men in the Bottom 80% are not
violent, and that these men will pay top dollar to have sex with a woman who
presents herself as being “out of the man's league.”
Bottom line?
There may not be any ‘scientific evidence’ that the '80-20 Rule' Theory of
Dating and Relationships is in full effect in today’s dating scene, but it
is very hard to ignore the seemingly evident ‘proof’ that is in front of
our eyes on a weekly basis. Many single men in today's dating scene are
frustrated, and many of the women are as well.
Quick Q & A
"Alan, applying your 80-20 island scenario to real life, how can I tell if I
am a man in that mythical Top 20%? Is the criteria based on looks? Wealth?
Career success? Sexual prowess? Other?"
Assuming the 80-20 Rule Theory is valid, the simple way you can identify
which category you are in would be if you can pick up your phone right now,
and call up at least four different women who you are genuinely attracted to
- invite them to your place for the specific purpose of having sex with you
- and all four women would enthusiastically reciprocate your invitation
without hesitation or resistance. If that is your reality rather than your
fantasy, you can consider yourself in that highly esteemed Top 20%.
If you are married, but you have at least three other women offering to be
your mistress or side piece, you would also qualify for the Top 20%. Any
other scenario, you would fall into the Bottom 80%.
There are men who have achieved a high degree of career success and wealth
who know nothing about how to attract the romantic and sexual interest of
women. Some men naturally have 'game' and personal charm with women, some
men learn how to have it, and some men will never have it. For the latter,
sad ... but true.
"Alan, will my love life or sex life be miserable if I am perceived as being
in the Bottom 80%?"
Not necessarily. There are a number of men in society who have one
girlfriend who they are happy with or a wife who they are madly in love with
, and those feelings are reciprocated. No man has to be a prolific womanizer
or popular ladies' man in order to be happy.
"Alan, I would think most women would be turned off by men who seem
promiscuous and have a number of other women at their beck and call. This 80
-20 Rule Theory seems to suggest just the opposite. I don't get it. Can you
explain?"
One thing I can assure you: a 'promiscuous past' does not have the same
effect on women that it does with many men who suffer from the negative
effects of The Madonna / Whore Complex. Women are attracted to men who they
feel other women find romantically and sexually desirable (men are not that
much different in that respect). My own late mother even said to me once, "
No woman wants a man who they feel no other woman would want to date."
One service that has become increasingly popular over the past few years is
that of "The Wing Woman." Unlike a Call Girl or an Erotic Escort, who a man
would hire for sexual companionship, the Wing Woman would accompany a man to
a party, nightclub, or other social venue just to help that man capture the
attention and companionship of other women of interest.
Based on my own personal experiences, I will confirm: women do pay more
attention to you when you are seen with one or more attractive women in
public. I had a female friend call into my talk radio show a few months back
and confess that she is one of those women. She said that whenever she was
at a nightclub, she always paid the most attention to the guys who were
there with one or more female companions as opposed to the guys who were in
the nightclub by themselves or with other men.
In the same way many believe that "when you already have wealth, you will
always attract new opportunities for even more wealth," the same can be said
for receiving sexual attention from women. The more attention a man is
already receiving from women, typically, the more opportunities will come
his way way for even more attention from women.
For the men who are already in the mythical 'Top 20%' ... you should be
congratulated. Not hated on. Kudos.
For the men who are in the Bottom 80%, but aspiring to be in the Top 20% ...
you have to have something that drives your ambitions .... right?
For the men who are in the Bottom 80%, and content with being there .... if
you have at least one girlfriend who genuinely loves you to death or a wife
who would never think of cheating on you ... what else do you need?
For the men who are in the Bottom 80% and experiencing profound feelings of
anger, resentment, and frustration ... I am here to help. Contact me (
seriously).
My mission continues . . .
s*********r
发帖数: 2781
2
男人也一样,眼里就看到美女,有几个男人看见胖丫头,丑丫头想着去了解别人心灵美
的? 所以半斤八两,谁也别寒碜谁
m********8
发帖数: 7463
3
完全不同,男人从进化角度,需要追求多个女人。而女人必须守住一个男人
完全不是一回事

【在 s*********r 的大作中提到】
: 男人也一样,眼里就看到美女,有几个男人看见胖丫头,丑丫头想着去了解别人心灵美
: 的? 所以半斤八两,谁也别寒碜谁

H****C
发帖数: 411
4
虽是坑 但true

【在 m********8 的大作中提到】
: 【 以下文字转载自 Military 讨论区 】
: 发信人: umutata (土著人), 信区: Military
: 标 题: 80-20规律:给琐男科普下自由婚恋市场的那些事
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Feb 12 15:58:42 2015, 美东)
: 文章比较长,我给个尽量简短易懂的摘要。我只陈述客观现象,不作道德评判。
: 如果有1000个男的,1000的女的,放到一个孤岛上。理论上,他们很快会结成1000对伴
: 侣,但实际上比这复杂多了。
: 这1000个女的当中,有800个会去围着男的当中200个条件最好的转。这200个男的平均
: 每人有四个女的,于是就变得花心,在多个女的中间周旋,保持好几个炮友。而其他
: 800个男的就很难操上逼,心理容易出问题,有的会攻击那些Top 20%的男的,成为杀人

1 (共1页)
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相关主题
我想,sex是男女关系的最高境界 (转载)本版应该设元老院负责matchmaking。
女, 24: NY Upstate寻Romantic Partner【男征女】Los Angeles, CA single guy seeking soulmate
[合集] 诚征GF(*)我也试试
刚才看CNN新闻,说Tiger的广告在中国大增推荐两个netflix上在线播放的两个电影
Dating with women (zt)这里的人有心理准备做父母吗?还是只看重子女不大看重companio
$17 for One ticket to a matchmaking eventGive me a husband so I can move on with life~
我,一个海外华人心中得征婚/交友网站排行榜孩子真的在婚姻之上吗?
搞不懂一些男人。。。其实姐弟恋比想像中认受性高很多(warning:超pedantic)
相关话题的讨论汇总
话题: men话题: women话题: top话题: who话题: many