s******9
发帖数: 4623 | 1 【 以下文字转载自 Military 讨论区 】
发信人: threepig (), 信区: Military
标 题: 这个耶伦的段子写得很好呀
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Aug 25 13:19:02 2016, 美东)
天行者.耶伦 (Yellen Skywalker)在长廊中缓缓前行。尽管几乎看不到光亮，但原力在
引导她的脚步。很快，她感觉到了她父亲-通缩.维德 (Deflation Vader)的存在。
维德刺耳的嗓音打破了寂静：“我一直在等你。在你身上，我能感到原力的强大。很好
，皇帝早已预见到了你力量的增长，并相信你在未来会成为我们的盟友。来吧，是时候
加入我们，一起恢复宇宙的秩序吧！”
“你错了维德，我决不堕入黑暗面！”
“哈哈哈，黑暗面？什么黑暗面？难道欧比旺.本.伯南克从来没有告诉你原力的真正本
质？”
“什么本质？”耶伦困惑的问道。
“原力无处不在，它在追寻和谐与平衡。它既非光明也非黑暗，只是在循环轮转。正如
有山峰就有山谷，有光线就有阴影，作用力与反作用力。生命即是如此。你对原力光明
一面的信念，以及你为实现它而竭力制造通胀的努力，令人感动，但却适得其反。“维
德继续说道：“低利率和债务本身既非通胀也非通缩，只有当其失去平衡、不再和谐时
，才会变成光明或黑暗的工具。你看，我的杰迪，当人们举债时，它推动了通胀，当人
们还债时，它带来了通缩。你越是用低利率和信贷扩张制造通胀，试图将原力引向所谓
的光明，原力的黑暗面就会越强大！你实际上是我最棒的盟友！” 维德大声吼笑道。
“扪心自问，耶伦。你知道我说的是事实。”
耶伦知道维德所说的是对的。在付出了极大的努力，甚至使用了前所未见的低利率和货
币宽松之后，光明的一方也仅仅制造了些许的通胀。她回想起她的导师欧比旺.本.伯南
克离任前往某个偏远的殖民星球的那天，当他将光明力量的重任交付于她时意味深长的
临别赠言：“无论你做什么，别做任何合理的事情。” 但耶伦知道她所处的困境。如
果她继续对抗通缩，她只会使它更加强大，最终更加难以恢复宇宙的和谐。或者，她应
该屈服于黑暗，希望通缩的侵袭不至于造成太大的破坏。在她的心中，已有了决定。
“你是对的，父亲。我明白了，我需要做些什么？”
“我的孩子，为什么一定要做些什么呢？只需要停止对抗黑暗，它自然会恢复宇宙的和
谐，就像涨起的潮水抹去沙滩上的足迹一样，让我们看着吧。”
维德和耶伦走向观测窗，从那儿，她能看到各式各样的星系如跳舞般尽情闪烁，创记录
的就业数据，创纪录的汽车销售，创记录的股票价格，构成了宏大壮观的金融宇宙。耶
伦轻轻的收去光明之力。几乎瞬间，恒星间的运输系统开始暗淡并逐渐消失；高收益债
星云如超新星爆发后陷入沉寂，最后归于虚无。在耶伦的注视下，所有曾经明亮的星群
纷纷变暗，她能够感到亿万交易员们内心 – 震颤、恐惧取代了贪婪。耶伦想知道自己
究竟做了些什么。她站在维德的身旁，默默地看着光明湮灭。
愿原力与你们同在。
Money never sleeps,good luck trading! | t******g
发帖数: 4044 | 2 ，找到了英文版
Yellen Skywalker inched down the corridor. There was barely any light, but
the force guided her steps. Soon she felt the presence of her father,
Deflation Vader. His voice rasped out a greeting. “I have been expecting
you. I can feel that the force is strong with you. Good. The Emperor has
foreseen that your powers would grow, and that you would become our ally. It
is time for you to join me and restore order to the universe!” “You are
wrong Vader – I would never go to dark side!” “Ha ha ha – dark side –
what dark side? Did Obi-Wan Ben Bernanke never tell you the true nature of
the force?” “What true nature?” asks a troubled Yellen. “The force is
all around us, and seeks harmony and balance. It is neither light nor dark,
but cyclical. Mountains must have valleys. Light must create shadow. Action
and reaction, this is all that life is. Your belief in the light side of the
force, and the need for you to strenuously push it on all things, to create
inflation in all things, is touching, but quite misguided.” Vader
continued “Low interest rates and debt creation in particular is an object
that is neither inherently inflationary nor deflationary, but only becomes a
tool of the light or the dark side if it moves out of balance, or harmony.
You see my jedi, debt accumulation is inflationary when taken on and
deflationary when paid back. The longer you push your light side of the
force, the stronger the dark side becomes! You have in fact been my greatest
ally!” Vader let out a bellowing laugh. “Search your feelings Yellen, you
know that I speak the truth”. Yellen knew the words Vader spoke were true.
Despite monumental efforts, the light side had only generated minor
inflation, even with previously unheard interest rates and even with their
new monetary techniques. She thought back to the day her mentor Obi-Wan Ben
Bernanke disappeared off to some far flung colony – his parting words as he
passed responsibility for the light side to Yellen were cryptic – “
Whatever you do, do not do anything sensible”. But Yellen knew she faced a
dilemma, if she continued to fight the dark side she only made it stronger,
and the ultimate move to harmony more difficult. Or should she succumb now,
and hope that dark side influence would not destroy too much. In her heart,
she made her decision. “You are right father, I can see that. What must I
do?” “Why my child, you must do nothing, just cease to fight the dark side
, and it shall restore harmony to the universe as surely as a rising tide
destroys footprints in the sand. Come, let us watch” Vader and Yellen moved
over to an observation window. From the view she could see the dancing
constellations that made up the financial universe. Many shone as brightly
as they could. Record employment, record car sales, all-time highs in the
stock market. Yellen let go of the light side of the force. Almost
instantaneously, the Transport star system began to darken and disappear.
The high yield nebula went into super nova and slowly began to darken. And
then nothing. But as Yellen watched all the bright constellations began to
darken ever so slightly. And Yellen could feel a tremor from a billion
traders’ hearts, as fear began to replace greed in their hearts. She
wondered what she had done, as she stood next to Vader, and watched the
lights go out.
【在 s******9 的大作中提到】
: 【 以下文字转载自 Military 讨论区 】
: 发信人: threepig (), 信区: Military
: 标 题: 这个耶伦的段子写得很好呀
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Aug 25 13:19:02 2016, 美东)
: 天行者.耶伦 (Yellen Skywalker)在长廊中缓缓前行。尽管几乎看不到光亮，但原力在
: 引导她的脚步。很快，她感觉到了她父亲-通缩.维德 (Deflation Vader)的存在。
: 维德刺耳的嗓音打破了寂静：“我一直在等你。在你身上，我能感到原力的强大。很好
: ，皇帝早已预见到了你力量的增长，并相信你在未来会成为我们的盟友。来吧，是时候
: 加入我们，一起恢复宇宙的秩序吧！”
: “你错了维德，我决不堕入黑暗面！”
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