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发帖数: 1267 | 1 中国“剩女”绝不屈服，拒不降低择偶标准
moonlight12321
于2011-10-22 12:15:09翻译 | 已有1922人浏览 | 有8人评论
在如今剩男、剩女数量不断加剧的情况下，剩女总是遭受社会舆论的“狂轰滥炸”。她
们能不能顶住社会压力，维持自己的择偶标准？
Tags:剩男 | 剩女
It's a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession
of wallets and wardrobes must be in want of her wedding.
有一条真理举世皆知，钱包鼓鼓、衣柜满满的单身女性一定在寻觅一个如意郎君。
My friend Carrie Chou, a drop-dead gorgeous, 28-year-old marketing
executive, had her seven-day-vacation booked in advance for an
interchangeable line-up of well-shaved, well-coiffed and well-groomed
gentlemen – not business negotiators, but single men on the lookout for a
prospective bride.
我的朋友周佳丽，今年28岁，长相美丽动人，是一家公司的营销主管。十一黄金周还没
到，她的七天假期已经预先排满了，要见一位位头发铮亮、西装笔挺的男士。他们可不
是谈生意的客户，而是想寻觅佳人的未婚男士。
"I'm either in the middle of a blind date or on my way to it," Carrie
grumbled. "Thanks to my parents trying to hook me up with some guy."
“十一整个假期，我不是正在相亲，就是在赶赴相亲的途中。”佳丽嘟囔着抱怨。“都
是因为我那恨不得早点把我嫁出去的父母啊。”
"They will shed tears of relief when I finally walk down the aisle, not
caring if the groom is Mr Wong or Mr Wrong," she predicted.
她说：“只要我终于嫁出去了，不管是嫁给白马王子还是黑马王子，他们恐怕都要高兴
得流泪了！”
Single women in China like Carrie may find themselves lampooned and
labeled as "sheng nü," loosely translated as "leftover women", referring to
untold legions of urban women in their late 20s and 30s, who are highly-
educated, highly-paid and highly-independent, yet alas, still single, and
unlikely to get hitched anytime soon.
在中国，像佳丽这样的单身女性通常被戏称为“剩女”，即城市里不计其数的快三十岁
以及三十几岁的女性。她们通常有高学历、高收入和高度的独立性，但可惜的是，仍然
未婚，并且短时间内也不会找到对象。
In some metropolises, single women outnumber men to a staggering seven
to three, according to Baihe.com, a premier dating site patronized by white-
collar workers.
根据百合网（一个主要为都市白领创设的交友网站）的统计，在一些大都市里，单身女
性的数量远远超过了单身男性，比例竟达7：3，实在令人难以置信。
China's culturally ingrained preference for sons plus sex-selective
abortions have created a widening gender imbalance. Then how come it is
challenging for the fairer sex to find an ideal suitor, even when there is a
large surplus of male bachelors out there in the marriage market?
照常理，中国固有的重男轻女思想和性别选择性堕胎本该造成男多女少的局面才是。为
什么在婚姻市场上有大批的剩男的情况下，单身女性想要找到一位如意郎君还这么困难？
Creative netizens illustrate the dilemma by hierarchical taxonomy of
both genders – alpha and beta males/females.
有创意的网民把男女分成一等男、二等男和一等女、二等女，以此来揭示出现这种局面
的原因。
Based on nuptial orthodoxy, alpha males choose and court beta females.
Who is out of the picture? Alpha women and beta men.
根据中国传统的婚姻观念，一等男会选择比自己弱一些的二等女结婚。那么剩下的会是
谁呢？当然就是一等女和二等男了。
But the sassy, savvy A-list ladies and the unappealing, unattached cut-
rate dudes would make a highly unlikely match.
但是，让要相貌有相貌、要头脑有头脑的一等女嫁给相貌平平、能力一般的二等男，那
简直是太阳打西边出来了。
Moreover, marriage is less compelling for women who can survive and
thrive by living solo.
而且，对于能够自谋生计的女性来说，结婚也显得也不是那么迫切。
"Over the boundless crowds I am seeking my soul-mate. It will be a great
delight if I make it; if not, it will be my fate," Carrie quoted a poem as
saying.
“我在茫茫人海中，寻找自己灵魂之唯一伴侣，得之，我幸；不得，我命。”佳丽引用
一首诗来描述自己的心情。
However in a nation where tying the knot is an essential ritual and
there is a social stigma attached to being single, individuals' dating and
mating appears more of a public display, open for discussion and
intervention by pushy do-gooders and pesky nosey parkers.
然而，在中国人们的观念里，结婚仍然是必须的，而单身就会被周围的人“另眼相看”
。这样，个人的恋爱和婚姻状况就被抛于公众的眼中，被人随意评论和干涉，总有好心
做媒或好管闲事者。
Many single women are overwhelmed by parental pressure, who wail and
whine at a daughter that rejects rushing into marriage.
许多父母对不想匆忙结婚的女儿又是求又是劝，有时竟声泪俱下，这令单身女儿们情何
以堪啊。
In Shanghai's People's Square's matchmaking corner, it is mostly grey-
haired parents that scrutinize the potential son-in-law's profile for
compatibility. In this scenario, chemistry is not at play, but mergers and
acquisitions.
在上海人民广场的相亲角，大多是头发花白的父母在仔细研读一位位单身男士的个人资
料，生怕错过任何一个有可能成为自己女婿的人。在这种场面中，男女双方是否有可能
相互喜欢根本不重要，重要的是要让两人见面并熟悉。
"If my daughter cannot find a husband, she will be an outcast in people'
s eyes," said a vexed mom.
“如果我的女儿没有嫁出去，她会被周围的人指指点点的。”一位母亲为女儿的婚事伤
透了脑筋。
The media fuels and foments the public angst and aversion to women's
single status. They trot out old chestnuts like "Spouse-selection is an
uneven playing field, in which men swagger while women stagger."
媒体的渲染也在加剧人们对于单身女性的焦虑和反感。人们拿出老生常谈的话：“要说
结婚啊，男的是越老越吃香，女的是越老越贬值啊。”
They conclude that men of whatever age, are up for grabs by umpteen
eligible-bachelor-seekers, yet a single woman's value is on a downward
spiral as she ages.
他们下结论说，男的不管多大年龄，总有无数适合结婚的对象可供选择，而女人随着年
龄的增长是不断贬值的。
Nevertheless, uncompromised women refuse to bend and bow to masculine
brainwashing, thus being reduced to the much-teased-about "leftover" status.
然而，依然有女性绝不屈服，不肯低头屈身聆听广大男人的教诲，就逐渐沦为“剩女”
的身份，成为众人的谈资。
The condescending press then poses as agony aunts, preaching, "Don't
worry, leftover sisters! Lower your criteria for a better half, then you'll
see a sea of fishes and can reel one into your boat! Or you're gonna die
alone!"
媒体摇身一变，转而成为苦口婆心的大妈，不厌其烦地劝说：“别担心，剩女们！把你
的择偶标准降低一点，你就会发现身边原来有一大批优秀男士，你从中定能找到自己的
白马王子。要不然，你就会孑然一身，孤独死去！”
It used to baffle me why the media loved to do a hatchet job on single
women, until I sensed something fishy going on.
我常常为媒体对单身女性的攻击和诽谤而感到困惑，直到有一天我意识到这里边的猫腻。
Such hypocrisy must have been acquiesced to on political grounds. A
census report issued in 2007 pointed out that social stability would be
damaged by a greater deluge of sexually voracious bachelors.
媒体的伪善是被政府默许了的，这里边一定有政治原因的。2007年的人口普查报道，单
身男性的数量继续庞大，这个性饥渴的群体将会如洪水猛兽，毁坏社会秩序的稳定。
Therefore I bet it's a ruse on seemingly "unattainable" single ladies –
lowering their valve, demeaning maiden pride to make them feel less of a
woman, and nudging them into exchanging rings with a lawful but awful
husband.
因此，我猜测，这是对那些“可望而不可即”的单身女性的一个阴谋——使她们降低标
准，抛却女性的自尊，低看自己，然后骗得她们和一位合法、但不合适的男士走入婚姻
的殿堂。
Women don't have a violent bone in their bodies. No wonder they "deserve
" to be castigated until they get married, to dilute and defuse the lurking
social mayhem posed by men.
女性骨子里是柔弱的，怪不得她们总是遭到社会的攻击。除非她们结婚，她们才能够消
减和消除社会广大男人们对她们的诽谤。
The author is a Shanghai-based freelance writer. o*****[email protected]
.cn
作者是上海的一位自由职业者。o*****[email protected] |
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