G***o
发帖数: 5158 | 1 Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower
when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop
that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps
back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom,
her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “
Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. | G***o
发帖数: 5158 | 2 Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The
Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!”
says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a
speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me
next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach
with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of
my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the
manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch
.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. | G***o
发帖数: 5158 | 3 Lesson 3:
A priest offered a lift to a lady. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”
Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing
gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “
Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the
flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his
arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go
forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great opportunity. | G***o
发帖数: 5158 | 4 Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”
Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “
Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very high up. | G***o
发帖数: 5158 | 5 Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “
Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re
packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that
it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next
day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally
after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you
there. | G***o
发帖数: 5158 | 6 Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow
came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the
pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually
thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing
for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut ! | l*****t
发帖数: 2019 | 7 These are good shit.
So damn hilarious. | a****d
发帖数: 524 | | p****j
发帖数: 4762 | | o****o
发帖数: 8077 | |
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