a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 1 I died three hours ago.
I was walking down Stockton street when I fell into a gutter. It was foggy,
cold, dull, a typical June day in San Francisco. It was almost dark. Most
food shops were closing, only a handful of grocery stores were still open,
waiting for the last few customers to scoop up the last pieces of tomato,
bok choys, zucchinis, and dark spotted bananas. The street was dirty, and
quiet. I got my milk from a store on the corner of Stockton and Broadway.
I was cold, with my sil | e*******d
发帖数: 461 | 2 Great writing. I am very touched. mission is to revenge? haha...
foggy,
Most
,
being
【在 a******e 的大作中提到】
: I died three hours ago.
: I was walking down Stockton street when I fell into a gutter. It was foggy,
: cold, dull, a typical June day in San Francisco. It was almost dark. Most
: food shops were closing, only a handful of grocery stores were still open,
: waiting for the last few customers to scoop up the last pieces of tomato,
: bok choys, zucchinis, and dark spotted bananas. The street was dirty, and
: quiet. I got my milk from a store on the corner of Stockton and Broadway.
: I was cold, with my sil
| a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 3 Thanks! The mission,actually, I'm not sure yet. ^_^
短篇小说这点好，抓住一个scene写就成，不用想太多前因后果。
【在 e*******d 的大作中提到】
: Great writing. I am very touched. mission is to revenge? haha...
:
: foggy,
: Most
: ,
:
: being
| a***d
发帖数: 2374 | 4 en,a top KunLun jade...:-)
foggy,
Most
,
being
【在 a******e 的大作中提到】
: I died three hours ago.
: I was walking down Stockton street when I fell into a gutter. It was foggy,
: cold, dull, a typical June day in San Francisco. It was almost dark. Most
: food shops were closing, only a handful of grocery stores were still open,
: waiting for the last few customers to scoop up the last pieces of tomato,
: bok choys, zucchinis, and dark spotted bananas. The street was dirty, and
: quiet. I got my milk from a store on the corner of Stockton and Broadway.
: I was cold, with my sil
| i*********s
发帖数: 2451 | | l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 6 Nice one! Curious about the mission too, to meet a vampire? :D | s**a
发帖数: 8648 | 7 也许使命是回去让弗兰克鬼上身，或者吓死他所有的新欢，哈哈，美国唐传奇。
foggy,
Most
,
being
【在 a******e 的大作中提到】
: I died three hours ago.
: I was walking down Stockton street when I fell into a gutter. It was foggy,
: cold, dull, a typical June day in San Francisco. It was almost dark. Most
: food shops were closing, only a handful of grocery stores were still open,
: waiting for the last few customers to scoop up the last pieces of tomato,
: bok choys, zucchinis, and dark spotted bananas. The street was dirty, and
: quiet. I got my milk from a store on the corner of Stockton and Broadway.
: I was cold, with my sil
| l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 8 哈哈，貌似有点俗套了，不过还是很痛快哈，是不是小柯也有点犹豫？：P
【在 s**a 的大作中提到】
: 也许使命是回去让弗兰克鬼上身，或者吓死他所有的新欢，哈哈，美国唐传奇。
:
: foggy,
: Most
: ,
:
: being
| s**a
发帖数: 8648 | 9 小柯是留些想象的空间给读者？
让读者自己决定她的使命是什么。我们猜来猜去，小柯的目的已经达到了，:-)
【在 l*r 的大作中提到】
: 哈哈，貌似有点俗套了，不过还是很痛快哈，是不是小柯也有点犹豫？：P
| l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 10 赞！
这也是写连载最重要的手段吧，能扯着作者明天再回来看的
想起评书常说的：两个正坐着喝酒，忽然腾腾腾楼梯响，楼地下上来一个人，牛筋定睛
一看，不由目瞪口呆～（惊堂木一拍），欲知后事如何且听下回分解！
（明天接着讲）昨天说道两个人正说着话，腾腾腾楼梯响，原来是店小二端了盘熟牛肉
上来，放到桌上，“二位爷还要点什么？”。。。
【在 s**a 的大作中提到】
: 小柯是留些想象的空间给读者？
: 让读者自己决定她的使命是什么。我们猜来猜去，小柯的目的已经达到了，:-)
| | | a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 11 赫赫赫，不是这个。
这篇差不多五千字了，不能再写了，就是留个扣。
【在 l*r 的大作中提到】
: 哈哈，貌似有点俗套了，不过还是很痛快哈，是不是小柯也有点犹豫？：P
| a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 12 Dan Brown这点做得最牛。每次都以凶杀案开篇，一节一节都很短小，一个扣连一个扣
，你都没法放下干别的去。
那多手记也有这个特色。
【在 l*r 的大作中提到】
: 赞！
: 这也是写连载最重要的手段吧，能扯着作者明天再回来看的
: 想起评书常说的：两个正坐着喝酒，忽然腾腾腾楼梯响，楼地下上来一个人，牛筋定睛
: 一看，不由目瞪口呆～（惊堂木一拍），欲知后事如何且听下回分解！
: （明天接着讲）昨天说道两个人正说着话，腾腾腾楼梯响，原来是店小二端了盘熟牛肉
: 上来，放到桌上，“二位爷还要点什么？”。。。
| a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 13 嗯，这是好莱坞喜欢的chick-flick戏。
【在 s**a 的大作中提到】
: 也许使命是回去让弗兰克鬼上身，或者吓死他所有的新欢，哈哈，美国唐传奇。
:
: foggy,
: Most
: ,
:
: being
| l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 14 写完了？快贴上来吧？
【在 a******e 的大作中提到】
: 赫赫赫，不是这个。
: 这篇差不多五千字了，不能再写了，就是留个扣。
| a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 15 没开写呢。要是真写下去得成个长篇，不知道自己能否驾驭得了。
你的（4）呢？快写！
【在 l*r 的大作中提到】
: 写完了？快贴上来吧？
| l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 16 哈哈，我的已经要冲长篇去了
刚赶完了（4），剩下的不知道什么时候了：）
【在 a******e 的大作中提到】
: 没开写呢。要是真写下去得成个长篇，不知道自己能否驾驭得了。
: 你的（4）呢？快写！
| d*****e
发帖数: 1339 | 17 原来margaret的前章在这里
写的真好，场景氛围的渲染很见功力，读起来非常流畅。
foggy,
Most
,
being
【在 a******e 的大作中提到】
: I died three hours ago.
: I was walking down Stockton street when I fell into a gutter. It was foggy,
: cold, dull, a typical June day in San Francisco. It was almost dark. Most
: food shops were closing, only a handful of grocery stores were still open,
: waiting for the last few customers to scoop up the last pieces of tomato,
: bok choys, zucchinis, and dark spotted bananas. The street was dirty, and
: quiet. I got my milk from a store on the corner of Stockton and Broadway.
: I was cold, with my sil
| a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 18 谢谢！所谓开头容易后续难，缺乏经验的写起来还是非常吃力。
【在 d*****e 的大作中提到】
: 原来margaret的前章在这里
: 写的真好，场景氛围的渲染很见功力，读起来非常流畅。
:
: foggy,
: Most
: ,
:
: being
|
|
