u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | 1 1月27日下午6时，美国耶鲁学院院长霍洛维通过电邮告诉师生，该校17级华裔学生王璐
畅（音译，Luchang Wang）于当日在加州三藩市自杀身亡，年仅20岁。
当日下午1时26分，王璐畅在其脸书页面上发表了一段让人担心的话之后，其朋友、同
学和家人开始寻找她的下落，很快整个校园的师生也加入寻找行动中。当日下午2时，
15级学生彭塔米通过脸书唿吁在校学生在高层大楼、学校大楼和公共区域寻找王璐畅的
行踪。学生们开始在这个脸书上发表评论，告知他们已搜寻过的地点。
加州公路巡警（CHP）发言人希尔（Daniel Hill）27日晚上向本报证实，当局于27日上
午10时29分接报，一名亚裔女子爬过金门大桥栏杆跳桥，当局迅速联同海岸巡逻队，派
出船只在海面展开搜索，但经过一天搜索未能有任何发现。
希尔续称，当局在金门大桥上发现一只背包，内有死者的身分证，因此和耶鲁大学警方
取得联繫，校警局确认死者跳桥自杀。希尔拒绝透露背包内是否有遗书或其他物件。
As news spread of the death of Luchang Wang ’17 Tuesday evening, classmates
, friends and mentors remembered a young woman whose intellect was matched
only by her compassion, whose care for her academic work ran as deep as her
concern for the injustices she observed in the world around her. Wang died
in an apparent suicide on Tuesday.
“Luchang was the kind of person that all people are supposed to be,” said
Leigh Vila ’17, Wang’s suitemate. “There was absolute perfection in the
way that she loved other people — and showed that she loved them.”
Vila added that Wang was constantly doing “small, beautiful things” to
show her suitemates she cared. Wang would often decorate their door handles
with tiny toys or pick flowers for them on her runs to East Rock, Vila said.
A mathematics major in Silliman College, Wang distinguished herself through
her involvement with the Yale Political Union’s Party of the Left, Yale
Effective Altruists and the Yale Record.
Wang, who was 20 years old, attended high school in West Des Moines, Iowa,
where she ran cross-country and won recognition for her academic excellence.
In 2010, she led her high school to victory in the Ames Laboratory/Iowa
State University Regional High School Science Bowl. That same year, she tied
for 18th place nationwide in the Math Prize for Girls contest and was one
of 98 students nationwide to win the prestigious Siemens Award for Advanced
Placement. She was also a candidate for the United States Department of
Education’s Presidential Scholars program.
2009 Science Bowl
2010 Science Bowl
2010 美国女子数学奥赛铜牌
Students who knew her at Yale described her as a selfless and giving
classmate who cared deeply about doing good for other people.
“Her motivation in life was to make the world a better place,” said Tammy
Pham ’15, Wang’s close friend and fellow Effective Altruists member. “It
’s sad to see someone with such a pure love go like this.”
From their very first conversation, Wang demonstrated remarkable openness
and intimacy, said Caroline Posner ’17, who met Wang through the Party of
the Left. She was soft-spoken and modest, Posner added.
“When she spoke at party debates, it was out of a sense of duty to engage
the room, never a desire to hear herself speak, as it often is for many of
us,” Posner wrote in an email. “She was so ridiculously grateful for a
life that was never easy or fair to her.”
Wang’s sense of civic duty extended beyond Yale’s campus. She cared deeply
about social justice, traveling to New York City and marching in honor of
Michael Brown with people she had never met, said Carlee Jensen ’15, who
also befriended Wang through the YPU. Jensen added that Wang never hesitated
to push her intellectually, challenging her whenever she said something
flippant or tried to avoid a serious question.
Wang’s mental acuity also extended to her satirical work. Wang demonstrated
an “original comedic mind,” said Aaron Gertler ’15, chairman of the Yale
Record. From his encounters with Wang, both on the Record and in the
Effective Altruists, Gertler said her input was always “kind, necessary and
relevant.”
David McGinnis, Wang’s high school debate coach, remembered her as a “
brilliant and talented young woman.” She was one of the best public forum
debaters in the country, he said. During her junior year of high school, she
and her partner qualified for the national Tournament of Champions after
just two rounds of competition — the fastest that anyone can qualify.
“I don’t know what else to say,” McGinnis wrote in an email. “I want
very badly for this not to have happened. She should have long outlived me.”
Astronomy professor Priyamvada Natarajan, a longtime supporter of the Math
Prize for Girls, presented Wang with her award in 2010. She said Wang was a
gifted young woman.
Natarajan described Wang’s passing as a “devastating loss to our community
and for the future of mathematics.”
Silliman College Master Judith Krauss held a gathering in her house Tuesday
evening for all Yale students to come together and offer each other support.
Krauss told the News she believed Wang loved Yale and the “hope she found
here, especially through her friends and classmates.”
Krauss added that the Silliman community, the YPU and many others are trying
to make sense of this painful loss.
Posner said her memories of Wang will always be of her smiling.
“It reminds me of that Roald Dahl quote: ‘If you have good thoughts they
will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely,’
” Posner wrote. “Luchang — who was stunning regardless — looked like she
had sunbeams shining out of her whole being.”
Wang is survived by her mother, father and a younger sister. | u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | 2 Wang, who was 20 years old, attended high school in West Des Moines, Iowa,
where she ran cross-country and won recognition for her academic excellence.
In 2010, she led her high school to victory in the Ames Laboratory/Iowa
State University Regional High School Science Bowl. That same year, she tied
for 18th place nationwide in the Math Prize for Girls contest and was one
of 98 students nationwide to win the prestigious Siemens Award for Advanced
Placement. She was also a candidate for the United States Department of
Education’s Presidential Scholars program.
优秀之至！ | u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | 3 Quote：
Wang is not alone. A wave of suicides is percolating through our colleges.
One at Princeton recently, five at UPenn, This is so tragic and cruel as to
be almost unbearable. No conceivable reason exists for someone like Wang to
take her own life--or indeed for ANYONE to do so. These suicides and suicide
attempts mean something, though. Something is WRONG in higher education.
One of my friends, a top MD, is a leading expert on suicide. He tells me no
question, this is abnormal, a sign of a problem, a deep problem. Let some
college president step up to the plate now and really confront this issue.
No blue ribbon committees, suicide awareness days, etc. Time to get really
serious. This woman was precious and now she is incomprehensibly gone.
Others have preceded her--many. Let us pray that no more follow. May the
angels welcome her into paradise . . . | t*c
发帖数: 8291 | 4 你有病啊，整天贴这种事。管好你自己家孩子就行了。
【在 u*****a 的大作中提到】
: 1月27日下午6时，美国耶鲁学院院长霍洛维通过电邮告诉师生，该校17级华裔学生王璐
: 畅（音译，Luchang Wang）于当日在加州三藩市自杀身亡，年仅20岁。
: 当日下午1时26分，王璐畅在其脸书页面上发表了一段让人担心的话之后，其朋友、同
: 学和家人开始寻找她的下落，很快整个校园的师生也加入寻找行动中。当日下午2时，
: 15级学生彭塔米通过脸书唿吁在校学生在高层大楼、学校大楼和公共区域寻找王璐畅的
: 行踪。学生们开始在这个脸书上发表评论，告知他们已搜寻过的地点。
: 加州公路巡警（CHP）发言人希尔（Daniel Hill）27日晚上向本报证实，当局于27日上
: 午10时29分接报，一名亚裔女子爬过金门大桥栏杆跳桥，当局迅速联同海岸巡逻队，派
: 出船只在海面展开搜索，但经过一天搜索未能有任何发现。
: 希尔续称，当局在金门大桥上发现一只背包，内有死者的身分证，因此和耶鲁大学警方
| u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | 5 您真健康呀，还是亚健康？
【在 t*c 的大作中提到】
: 你有病啊，整天贴这种事。管好你自己家孩子就行了。
| q********n
发帖数: 3248 | | u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | 7 The road is lonely, cold and steep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
But inches to go if I FINALLY sleep.
R.I.P.
My child was lovely, smart but ASLEEP,
Although she would have fruits to reap,
And tears down my cheek when I weep,
And tears down my cheek when I weep.
节哀 | k******b
发帖数: 4501 | 8 建议深入研究，分析每个孩子发生悲剧的具体原因 ，对家长更有警示作用。
是父母推得很，自己太要强，学业压力大，还是心理不过关。。。 | A**n
发帖数: 1703 | | u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | 10 没有家人的确证，很难知道死者的心路：隐私权。
大部分是抑郁症，一时想不开或者长期受此困扰，不堪忍受 . . .
精神健康，极其重要；高过 GPA，SAT，奥赛成绩等。
【在 A**n 的大作中提到】
: 谁知道这个女孩子是因为什么自杀的啊
: 令人心痛
| | | s**********1
发帖数: 4651 | 11 知道这些也没有坏处啊。的确心理健康身体健康最重要，快乐地活着最重要，但是不等
同与不努力。如果能够深究孩子自杀的原因，更有有益后人。 | q********n
发帖数: 3248 | 12 大批农妇和家人吵架想不开喝农药抢不过啦就没了的。
这和推不推有关系吗？ 主要是加强挫折教育，再说其实情商很多也是天生的。
出了这种事情，家长已经够痛苦的。谁能确定一定是因为家长推，才造成女儿自杀的？
有点critical thinking好不好？
【在 u*****a 的大作中提到】
: 没有家人的确证，很难知道死者的心路：隐私权。
: 大部分是抑郁症，一时想不开或者长期受此困扰，不堪忍受 . . .
: 精神健康，极其重要；高过 GPA，SAT，奥赛成绩等。
| C*****d
发帖数: 2253 | 13 虽然不能说是因为家长推才自杀，
但是你看事后认识死者的人的发言，
没有一个说她性格有任何问题，
反倒是正能量外泄的不行，心怀全世界人民，
要真的是那样，怎么可能走这条路，
可见是平时非要表现出和自己内心完全不同的表现，太辛苦了，最后就受不了了。
作为父母的，要说对自己的小孩不了解到这个程度，
也是服了。
【在 q********n 的大作中提到】
: 大批农妇和家人吵架想不开喝农药抢不过啦就没了的。
: 这和推不推有关系吗？ 主要是加强挫折教育，再说其实情商很多也是天生的。
: 出了这种事情，家长已经够痛苦的。谁能确定一定是因为家长推，才造成女儿自杀的？
: 有点critical thinking好不好？
| m*****i
发帖数: 1829 | 14 so sad...
【在 C*****d 的大作中提到】
: 虽然不能说是因为家长推才自杀，
: 但是你看事后认识死者的人的发言，
: 没有一个说她性格有任何问题，
: 反倒是正能量外泄的不行，心怀全世界人民，
: 要真的是那样，怎么可能走这条路，
: 可见是平时非要表现出和自己内心完全不同的表现，太辛苦了，最后就受不了了。
: 作为父母的，要说对自己的小孩不了解到这个程度，
: 也是服了。
| t**i
发帖数: 3283 | 15 有道理，其实推不推什么的都不重要，要教孩子会同时享受生活很重要
【在 C*****d 的大作中提到】
: 虽然不能说是因为家长推才自杀，
: 但是你看事后认识死者的人的发言，
: 没有一个说她性格有任何问题，
: 反倒是正能量外泄的不行，心怀全世界人民，
: 要真的是那样，怎么可能走这条路，
: 可见是平时非要表现出和自己内心完全不同的表现，太辛苦了，最后就受不了了。
: 作为父母的，要说对自己的小孩不了解到这个程度，
: 也是服了。
| q********n
发帖数: 3248 | 16 这么说的话，那就更是性格的问题了，不会自我疏导，活得太累。
世界上遇到的事情多了，学业可能只是人生遇到的第一个难题而已，以后有感情婚姻，
事业，健康，生死离别，各种挫折哪个不是更要命？
所以重要的是加强挫折教育，内心强大一些。
总之没必要一味职责家长，然后又痛彻刻骨地反思华人教育方式，挺搞笑的。
【在 C*****d 的大作中提到】
: 虽然不能说是因为家长推才自杀，
: 但是你看事后认识死者的人的发言，
: 没有一个说她性格有任何问题，
: 反倒是正能量外泄的不行，心怀全世界人民，
: 要真的是那样，怎么可能走这条路，
: 可见是平时非要表现出和自己内心完全不同的表现，太辛苦了，最后就受不了了。
: 作为父母的，要说对自己的小孩不了解到这个程度，
: 也是服了。
| t*******r
发帖数: 22634 | | u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | | C*****d
发帖数: 2253 | 19 跟是不是华人是没什么关系，
但就我看到的新闻，一般如果是老美发生这种事，
同学老师父母一般都是说：这个娃一直都比较struggle,很不幸最后还是发生这样的事。
但是如果是华人的话，
好像老师同学父母都很惊奇的样子，好像从来不知道小孩性格有问题的样子，说实话这
种情况让人简直要愤怒了。
这个难道跟我们不重视心理健康，然后还很要面子觉得有心理问题很丢人的传统一点关
系都没有？
【在 q********n 的大作中提到】
: 这么说的话，那就更是性格的问题了，不会自我疏导，活得太累。
: 世界上遇到的事情多了，学业可能只是人生遇到的第一个难题而已，以后有感情婚姻，
: 事业，健康，生死离别，各种挫折哪个不是更要命？
: 所以重要的是加强挫折教育，内心强大一些。
: 总之没必要一味职责家长，然后又痛彻刻骨地反思华人教育方式，挺搞笑的。
| u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | 20 你咋知道农妇不是她父母或婆家"推"的?
谁能确定农妇一定不是她父母或婆家"推"，才造成农妇自杀的？
有点critical thinking好不好？
难道只有农夫被推不成？
【在 q********n 的大作中提到】
: 大批农妇和家人吵架想不开喝农药抢不过啦就没了的。
: 这和推不推有关系吗？ 主要是加强挫折教育，再说其实情商很多也是天生的。
: 出了这种事情，家长已经够痛苦的。谁能确定一定是因为家长推，才造成女儿自杀的？
: 有点critical thinking好不好？
| | | u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | 21 她曾休学一年，然后又再入学。还是觉得累，想再休学一年，无奈怕被人看不起，不被
学校待见，就去了金门大桥 . . .
更重要的是: 她一直有抑郁病，很多人都知道。
如果一个孩子认定：从藤校退学，就是“死”路一条的话，那么我们真应该问自己：是
否还该把孩子向这条路上推？
Hours before Yale College Dean Jonathan Holloway informed the campus
community of the death of Luchang Wang ’17, the student herself had posted
a suicide note on Facebook. In her message, she bid goodbye to her loved
ones and to Yale.
The end of Wang’s note — in which she discussed her fears about taking
time off from Yale and not being allowed to return — casts new light on a
campus debate about how the University handles cases of mental illness,
withdrawal and readmission. While some students have criticized the
University’s policies as cold and demanding, others have emphasized the
complex confluence of factors that led to Tuesday’s tragedy.
In a Wednesday phone interview, Officer Daniel Hill of the California
Highway Patrol confirmed that at approximately 10:29 a.m. on Tuesday, the
CHP received calls regarding a “despondent female” who had crossed over
the rail of the Golden Gate Bridge and jumped into the bay below. Hill said
the California Coast Guard was called in to check the area but that a body
has not been recovered.
“Our officers were able to locate a piece of property — a backpack —
which contained identification that was matching [Wang], but we cannot
confirm that the person that jumped was the same person because we don’t
have the body,” Hill said.
WITHDRAWAL, THEN UNCERTAINTY
Students interviewed who had been close to Wang said she had mentioned
suicide before. One of her friends, who asked to remain anonymous, said Wang
was severely mentally ill and had struggled with issues of mental illness
her whole life.
Caroline Posner ’17 said Wang had openly addressed mental health before,
including in their first conversation with one another.
According to Posner, Wang initially started at Yale in the fall of 2012, but
then withdrew, re-enrolling in spring 2014 to finish her freshman year. In
the fall of 2013, Wang lived and worked in New Haven, Posner said.
Wang’s friend added that Yale’s policies regarding withdrawal and
readmission prevented Wang from seeking appropriate and necessary treatment.
“She was routinely lying to her therapist,” the friend said. “It was very
common for her to express suicidal ideations and then she immediately
followed that up, explaining that if we reported her she would be kicked out
of Yale and have no reason left not to kill herself.”
Under Yale’s current leave of absence and withdrawal policies, students may
elect to take a leave of absence until the 10th day of a new semester.
Students who take leaves of absence may return to campus easily, often
simply by emailing their residential college dean.
But after 10 days, the process of leaving Yale becomes far more complicated.
Students who wish to take time off must withdraw from the University, and
they must apply for readmission before they are allowed to return. Although
most students who apply for readmission are accepted, according to the
University’s policies, readmission is not guaranteed.
Applicants must fulfill certain requirements before applying for readmission
; according to the requirements listed online, the readmissions committee
expects them to have been “constructively occupied” during their time away
from campus. Students who withdrew for medical reasons are often mandated
to complete the equivalent of two term courses. In addition, students must
demonstrate “the ability henceforth to remain in academic good standing.”
Readmission is considerably more difficult for students who withdraw for a
second time. Yale’s readmission policies, as specified in the Yale College
Programs of Study handbook, state that it will only be allowed under “
unusual circumstances, ordinarily of a medical nature.”
Assistant Dean of Academic Affairs for Yale College Pamela George, who
chairs the Committee on Readmission, said it is vital that Yale’s
guidelines concerning withdrawal and readmission be clear and accessible.
But she also said that the readmission policies have been in place for
decades and are ready for reevaluation.
“There is definitely room for immediate improvement,” she said in an email
.
For Wang — who had already withdrawn from the University once during her
freshman year — the uncertainty of being readmitted again appeared to play
a role in her decision not to withdraw a second time, according to her
Facebook note.
“Dear Yale: I loved being here,” she wrote. “I only wish I could’ve had
some time. I needed time to work things out and to wait for new medication
to kick in, but I couldn’t do it in school, and I couldn’t bear the
thought of having to leave for a full year, or of leaving and never being
readmitted.”
Chief of Yale Mental Health and Counseling Lorraine Siggins could not be
reached for comment, nor could Director of Yale Health Paul Genecin.
Students interviewed who have gone through the withdrawal process, but are
not familiar with Wang’s situation, said Wang was not alone in having fears
of being denied readmission.
Rachel Williams ’17 said that while she did not personally know Wang, she
could relate to the fear of not being readmitted following her own
withdrawal in February of 2013. Williams said that while those who knew her
and were familiar with her treatment, such as psychiatrists and professors
during her time off, sent letters of recommendation during the readmission
process, the final decision was left almost entirely to George and Siggins,
with whom Williams had only one 20-minute meeting before her return in the
spring of 2014.
Williams said that while she could not speak with absolute authority, she
got the sense from speaking with others that students who withdraw from the
University are not given very many more chances before they are permanently
dismissed as students. A large part of this, Williams said, is due to a lack
of transparency throughout the process.
“I have gotten the feeling, ‘I better not [mess] up again,’ so I can see
why [Wang] would have been afraid,” Williams said. “I would be terrified.
”
Wang’s concern that she would not have had enough time for new medications
to take effect is also indicative of the unsympathetic nature of Yale’s
policies, Posner said.
“What Yale did was force her to choose between trying to juggle that huge
burden while surviving at school with her symptoms not fully managed — a
cruel, impossible demand — or leaving without certainty of ever being
allowed back,” she said. “Yale, like our society, which is still grossly
under-equipped for treating mental illness, shares culpability for her death
.”
Another student who withdrew for medical reasons and was then readmitted
said they had nearly been driven to suicide two years ago by the financial
burden and anxiety imposed by Yale’s withdrawal policies.
The student, who asked to remain anonymous, said that while they were not
familiar with Wang’s story, the thought that Yale’s policies might have
played a role was devastating.
“Make no mistake — the withdrawal and readmission policies are hostile to
students with mental illness,” the student said.
CONSIDERING CONTEXT
However, other students who were close to Wang said that attributing her
death to Yale’s mental health policies alone is a gross oversimplification.
Tammy Pham ’15, a close friend of Wang’s who was among the first to
respond to her Facebook post, said that while much attention has centered on
the difficulties of readmission and Wang’s mention of withdrawal in her
suicide note, she does not want people to ignore other factors that may have
led to the tragedy.
“I can’t speak for [Wang], but from our conversations, [difficulty with
withdrawal] wasn’t the only reason,” Pham said. “I don’t want her story
to become, ‘She died because Yale failed her, and if Yale had had a better
policy she wouldn’t have died. That’s the vibe I’ve been getting recently
, which is very upsetting, because it shows a deep misunderstanding of
depression.”
Another friend of Wang’s, who wished to remain anonymous, said that those
close to her felt she seemed fixated on the idea of suicide, despite having
received medical treatment in the past, and that Wang “was very careful not
to preclude [suicide] as a possibility for herself.”
In evaluating the factors that led to Wang’s death, cultural perceptions of
mental illness are just as important as Yale’s individual policies, Pham
said. She added that while Yale’s policies certainly merit reform, stigmas
around taking time off from Yale can be just as off-putting as fear of being
denied readmission.
“[Fear of being denied readmission] played a big role in how she felt about
taking time off,” Pham said. “But to take that a step further and imply
that Yale singlehandedly caused this or could have prevented it is just
untrue. There are so many deeper problems at play here, and it’s unfair to
blame any one institution or person for this.”
Concerns about campus stigmas surrounding withdrawal were also raised by
other students. Williams said she could relate to Wang’s apparent thoughts
that leaving Yale was too terrible of an option to consider.
“Yale is a part of our lives — why do we get deluded into thinking that
Yale is our whole life and that we can’t tolerate existing outside of it?”
Williams said. “[Wang’s suicide] was a source of feeling like you don’t
have choices and that she couldn’t pick the choice not to be here.”
Holloway said that during his time as master of Calhoun College, students
often fought hard against the idea of leaving Yale.
Holloway said that while the residential college dean and master should
always try to reassure students that taking time off is an acceptable option
, they often meet the most resistance from students themselves.
“That was always my experience in Calhoun, that usually it’s the students
who are desperate not to leave, for a whole range of reasons,” he said.
Asian American Cultural Center Head Coordinators Hiral Doshi ’17 and
Jessica Liang ’17 said the cultural house has pushed for more awareness
surrounding the stigmatization of mental illness within the Asian-American
community. Doshi said that sometimes members of the community are
discouraged from opening up to their own families or voicing personal issues
to others, which makes a safe environment at Yale that much more important.
“We understand what our community is going through and we don’t have the
resources to be able to address this issue properly,” Doshi said. “We don
’t want to see anything happen like this ever again.”
A memorial service for Wang will be held on Jan. 31 at 2 p.m. in Battell
Chapel. | q********n
发帖数: 3248 | 22 你也挺矫情的哈
【在 u*****a 的大作中提到】
: 你咋知道农妇不是她父母或婆家"推"的?
: 谁能确定农妇一定不是她父母或婆家"推"，才造成农妇自杀的？
: 有点critical thinking好不好？
: 难道只有农夫被推不成？
| u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | 23 Quote:
With the Yale community and Luchang's family and friends, I mourn this
terrible loss. But as an outsider to the Yale community, I have to observe
that this kind of eulogizing highlights the problem. I understand the need
to emphasize Luchang's achievements and her positive qualities, but unspoken
are the conditions and pressures that might have led to her problem. I can
imagine depressed students and others reading this - how might it make them
feel? Like their problems will be as invisible after they're gone as they
were when they were with us. I apologize if my words are strong - but I hope
that more help comes, particularly for young API women, who have the second
highest suicide rate in the 15-24 age range of all ethnic groups (only
Native Alaskan females are higher). This is in epidemic proportions. A rash
of suicides in Menlo Park, also predominantly Asian American, underscores
this point. Perhaps some articles and resources for this and other
vulnerable populations would be helpful, such as http://www.aaspe.net and the hotlines listed on that website, for the general population and for specific language groups. | i**e
发帖数: 19242 | | u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | | r*******m
发帖数: 429 | 26 很好的小孩
rest in peace
having
medications
【在 u*****a 的大作中提到】
: 一朝荣华十年功，功败垂成万事休。
| r*f
发帖数: 39119 | | l*****o
发帖数: 26631 | 28 可能追求完美，不愿示弱于人，有啥问题都自己扛着，扛不住了就杯具了。
那种有点问题就大哭一场找人安慰的可能反而没事。
【在 C*****d 的大作中提到】
: 虽然不能说是因为家长推才自杀，
: 但是你看事后认识死者的人的发言，
: 没有一个说她性格有任何问题，
: 反倒是正能量外泄的不行，心怀全世界人民，
: 要真的是那样，怎么可能走这条路，
: 可见是平时非要表现出和自己内心完全不同的表现，太辛苦了，最后就受不了了。
: 作为父母的，要说对自己的小孩不了解到这个程度，
: 也是服了。
| A**n
发帖数: 1703 | 29 好像有些抗抑郁的药也会引起自杀，不知道是否吃药的关系 | u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | 30 http://www.giftguide.yale.edu/opportunity/show/1373
上面这个网站说：
About 15-18% of students seek the help from Mental Health & Counseling every
year, and presumably there are a number of people not being treated for
their issues or using outside treatment options. That is a major portion of
the student body that should, by this definition, be discouraged from
attending.
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/prevalence/any-mental
上面这个网站说：
In 2012, there were an estimated 43.7 million adults aged 18 or older in the
U.S. with any mental illness in the past year. This represented 18.6
percent of all U.S. adults. | | | K**r
发帖数: 2193 | 31 she probably doesn't even know how to say 'fuc* you' with a finger in the
air.
sign.... | w********e
发帖数: 4186 | 32 借这个帖子怀念小时候的朋友，梅。
我们俩的母亲同事过一段时间，我们都挤在她们单位的宿舍，在同一个小学上学，她比
我高一年级，这一年成了我永远追不上的差距。
我进她的初中，在黑板报上欣赏她的文章，追到她的高中，她的文字印在了出版的中学
生作文选里。高中时住校，我们的宿舍隔了几个房间，偶尔在走廊问好。还没来得及向
她取经，争取让语文老师把我的作文贴后面墙上，她休学了。
我们的高中年代,除了考大学，是不允许有别的任何念头的，对于她的离校，除了惋惜
，也没多想。
然后是高中最后一年的元旦前夕，回家的公共汽车刚下来，看见熟人，问我，认识梅？
我说是的，告诉我，梅自杀了。那时没心没肺，也不想深究这样的生离死别，除了惋惜
，慢慢把她在记忆里封了起来。
再想起她是后来学了关于心理疾病的课之后，把听说的零碎连起来，就是一个生病的女
孩在不温暖的环境中的挣扎，放弃的故事。而象我这样埋头于自己的事情的童年伙伴也
是构成不温暖的一个分子。 | I**********s
发帖数: 1573 | 33 就是简单的抑郁症自杀，没有那么复杂啦，各种人群里都有得病自杀的，跟什么学校什
么成长过程没关系。尤其是内源性抑郁症，根本都不需要理由。
怪就怪医学还不够发达，还不能攻克癌症和精神疾病。
having
medications
【在 u*****a 的大作中提到】
: http://www.giftguide.yale.edu/opportunity/show/1373
: 上面这个网站说：
: About 15-18% of students seek the help from Mental Health & Counseling every
: year, and presumably there are a number of people not being treated for
: their issues or using outside treatment options. That is a major portion of
: the student body that should, by this definition, be discouraged from
: attending.
: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/prevalence/any-mental
: 上面这个网站说：
: In 2012, there were an estimated 43.7 million adults aged 18 or older in the
| s**********1
发帖数: 4651 | 34 有道理。
人要到什么样的绝望才会自杀？才是这么青春的岁月？
然而之前却没有丝毫的痕迹。
孩子心底隐藏了多少痛苦却不让任何人知道？
事。
【在 C*****d 的大作中提到】
: 跟是不是华人是没什么关系，
: 但就我看到的新闻，一般如果是老美发生这种事，
: 同学老师父母一般都是说：这个娃一直都比较struggle,很不幸最后还是发生这样的事。
: 但是如果是华人的话，
: 好像老师同学父母都很惊奇的样子，好像从来不知道小孩性格有问题的样子，说实话这
: 种情况让人简直要愤怒了。
: 这个难道跟我们不重视心理健康，然后还很要面子觉得有心理问题很丢人的传统一点关
: 系都没有？
| u*****a
发帖数: 6276 | | k******b
发帖数: 4501 | 36 题外话，培养女孩子，是不是也可以让她们接接地气，爱个美，化个妆，脆弱的时候知
道/有机会撒个娇，生活多些色调，也许危机就缓和了。
//run | t*******r
发帖数: 22634 | 37 接地气应该是 sense of purpose + meaning of life 吧。。。而不是更高更快更美。
。。
【在 k******b 的大作中提到】
: 题外话，培养女孩子，是不是也可以让她们接接地气，爱个美，化个妆，脆弱的时候知
: 道/有机会撒个娇，生活多些色调，也许危机就缓和了。
: //run
| k******b
发帖数: 4501 | 38 这些太高大上了，容易钻牛角尖。很多人想着 meaning of life ，钻不出来，就悲剧
了，见那些自杀的诗人。
当然爱美这些不过是转移下注意力。 最根本的一条其实是，知道‘示弱’，而且有地
方‘示弱’。而不是一味硬撑。
【在 t*******r 的大作中提到】
: 接地气应该是 sense of purpose + meaning of life 吧。。。而不是更高更快更美。
: 。。
| t*******r
发帖数: 22634 | 39 也有道理。。。要钻牛角尖倒也真的挡不住。。。其实俺觉得作为扑通人，meaning of
life 其实就是怎么 "混"，功名利禄藤校都是浮云。。。
【在 k******b 的大作中提到】
: 这些太高大上了，容易钻牛角尖。很多人想着 meaning of life ，钻不出来，就悲剧
: 了，见那些自杀的诗人。
: 当然爱美这些不过是转移下注意力。 最根本的一条其实是，知道‘示弱’，而且有地
: 方‘示弱’。而不是一味硬撑。
| b*******r
发帖数: 1073 | 40 不知道将来什么时候, 医学, 或许, 能解决抑郁症的问题。但是很明显单独医学解决不
了自杀的问题。
【在 I**********s 的大作中提到】
: 就是简单的抑郁症自杀，没有那么复杂啦，各种人群里都有得病自杀的，跟什么学校什
: 么成长过程没关系。尤其是内源性抑郁症，根本都不需要理由。
: 怪就怪医学还不够发达，还不能攻克癌症和精神疾病。
:
: having
: medications
| | | b*******r
发帖数: 1073 | 41 看过一片文献统计比较, 诗人的自杀率并没有特别（高）。如果人们有这种印象，可能
是因为诗人的自杀引起的注意比较大。
【在 k******b 的大作中提到】
: 这些太高大上了，容易钻牛角尖。很多人想着 meaning of life ，钻不出来，就悲剧
: 了，见那些自杀的诗人。
: 当然爱美这些不过是转移下注意力。 最根本的一条其实是，知道‘示弱’，而且有地
: 方‘示弱’。而不是一味硬撑。
| a*****a
发帖数: 19262 | 42 你这样说也可以
我最讨厌微信上一堆一堆人转，说父母如何强势推孩子，其实，我自己养孩子才发现，
娃也不是那么容易被推的，只要我们是有学识的，别跟孩子总扭着，总会误出来，娃不
是推出来的，尤其是初中以后，娃不需要推，他们一旦自律性提供了，那非常可怕，他
们自己要强的个性，就是父母想拉也拉不住。
性格但是倒是关键，有些孩子追求完美，这个父母一定要引导。我希望我自己要加倍努力
我女儿弹琴后说自己弹的不好，我就反驳，我一条两条的例句她哪里弹的好，哪里有进
步，嗨，天生性格就要求多一些，这种情况，一定多表扬，灌输一些，其实不需要那么
perfect，阿Q一下又何妨。
teenager有过自杀念头的孩子很多，我就是其中一个，其实都是屁大的事儿，但是那个
时候很看重自己，眼里都觉得世界都是围着自己，不过就是想想，后来发现世界之大自
己之渺小也非常失落。
【在 l*****o 的大作中提到】
: 可能追求完美，不愿示弱于人，有啥问题都自己扛着，扛不住了就杯具了。
: 那种有点问题就大哭一场找人安慰的可能反而没事。
| k******b
发帖数: 4501 | 43 我是说，某些诗人自杀的原因是因为想不通生命的意义。 | b******a
发帖数: 1011 | | b*******r
发帖数: 1073 | 45 有时也暗想倒底什么最后trigger了自杀行为的实行? 更关键的, 什么又能阻止这种行
为? 想来想去，估计还是只能说case by case, 多种因素的综合。
以前想, 跑步好啊，runner 怎么会自杀？! 但是现实是, runner 就是也有自杀。其
实很简单，他自杀的时候主要的身份已经不是runner了。就像某诗人一样，自杀那时他
并不是因为是诗人而自杀。反过来, 是runner(或者说不坚定的runner?) 也不能保证就
不会自杀。
怎么办？堵?
金门大桥马上就要装防护栏了。这个堵掉了，还有华盛顿大桥等许许多多的大桥，甚至
高速路上的更多的天桥。（去年我妻子上班的一段高速路上就有一位妇人跳下去了，碰
到了两辆车之后死了）。其它更多的途径根本没办法全部封堵。
似乎还得回到自己。现实是，人不可能没追求，很多情况下必须去face, fight。考试
？女朋友？疾病？自己不够好？别人/社会对自己不够好？等等等等。 怎么既能真接受
自己，同时仍能有追求, 似乎是很有影响。
【在 t*******r 的大作中提到】
: 接地气应该是 sense of purpose + meaning of life 吧。。。而不是更高更快更美。
: 。。
| s*********d
发帖数: 912 | 46 这个不算是没有征兆了。 特别要强， 或是特别乐于助人，很多时候已经是抑郁症的症
状了。
【在 s**********1 的大作中提到】
: 有道理。
: 人要到什么样的绝望才会自杀？才是这么青春的岁月？
: 然而之前却没有丝毫的痕迹。
: 孩子心底隐藏了多少痛苦却不让任何人知道？
:
: 事。
|
|
